Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

May
01

Nando’s Peri-Peri Chicken website!

My smoke detector went off again at noon despite it just being replaced on March 10, so I filled out another maintenance request form. I went out shopping at 3:25 PM on a 401 and a 405 Cambie today, but delayed going out so long that I had to have dinner at the nearby Nando’s beforehand. I ordered the Nando’s Peri-Peri Chicken Bowl with a raspberry Sprite as a fountain drink, and had to think about how to properly use the fountain drink machine. Then I bought NEW Ben and Jerry’s Churr-eh For Churros ice cream, Swanson’s beef pot pie because Superstore doesn’t have them now for some fucking reason (August 14, 2024), Swanson’s turkey pot pie x2 (August 15, 2024), and NEW limited-edition Pillsbury Old El Paso Taco Cheese Pizza Pops expiring on November 19, 2023 at Walmart before going home on a 301 and a 401 while texting some food photos to white Eric.

Got home at 6 (which was 45 minutes after I bought everything), when I barely managed to cram everything into my freezer. Then the light bulb in my living room went out, so I had to wait 20 minutes to replace it. I also heard that Gordon Lightfoot is dead now?! NO! Talked to Phil about our 1994 nemesis the New York Rangers being out of the playoffs now, too! He doesn’t like them either! I texted Helen Y. about it, haha. Auntie Catherine made Joanna’s death far too religious for my taste, then I blocked one of Sarah Rowlett’s friends for ALSO being much too religious about some child porn guy she knew that did a murder-suicide and “would be in a better place.” Fuck that. I’m grounded in reality (more or less) and don’t make a religion my entire fucking identity! Then I texted Auntie Bessy about Joanna, only to hear that STANFORD FUCKING DIED SUDDENLY TOO?! Like, Calla’s husband?! JESUS CHRIST. He’d died in his sleep in February and the funeral service was in March. Talked to Jim, too.

Nando’s Peri-Peri Chicken Bowl: Portuguese rice topped with Peri-Peri chicken, arugula, roasted red peppers, corn, and hummus.

Extra-Hot Nando’s Peri-Peri Chicken sauce!

Raspberry Sprite as a fountain drink!

GES_CanadianGoose Discord emote from Ceriam in his own Discord server for Mother Goose Day 2023 today on May 1, guys! Also good for Draw A Picture of a Bird Day on April 8, and National Bird Day on April 26!

Bird Discord emote for Mother Goose Day 2023 today on May 1, guys! Also good for Draw A Picture of a Bird Day on April 8, and National Bird Day on April 26!

Bird Facebook emoji reaction for Mother Goose Day 2023 today on May 1, guys! Also good for Draw A Picture of a Bird Day on April 8, and National Bird Day on April 26!

Bird Youtube Google emoji reaction for Mother Goose Day 2023 today on May 1, guys! Also good for Draw A Picture of a Bird Day on April 8, and National Bird Day on April 26!

Swanson’s TURKEY pot pie BOX!

Apr
30

17 total photos and pictures!

I went out at 12:15 PM on a 401 on SUNDAY BUS SCHEDULES so I could get a bubble tea from Big Orange for National Bubble Tea Day 2023. Also got small dish detergent x4 from Shoppers Drug Mart since my big Dawn dish soaps are becoming impossible to tip over easily, so I threw out all four bottles of 902 mL. An old lady at the bus stop was complaining about the inconvenient 407 bus route change. Store brand President’s Choice dish detergent x5 (Ultra Green Apple, Ultra Original 2X, Ultra Icelandic Springs 2X, Oxi, plus Ultra Lavender) and a Country Harvest Everything loaf of bread expiring on May 16! I got home at 1:50 PM on another 401, and sent Phil a photo on Discord PM of Leafs Guy with a new sign: “Well, this is new.” In return, he sent me a satire Beaverton link: “Hockey fans mourn loss of their only joke.” HAHAHAHA! I texted Kathy “Happy birthday” and she thanked me. Edit at 7 PM: THE BOSTON BRUINS GOT ELIMINATED FROM THE HOCKEY PLAYOFFS! WOO! Phil isn’t a Bruins fan, either.

Bubble tea for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30: Coffee milk tea with pearls from Big Orange at Richmond Centre!

Bubble Tea Discord emote for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30! PURPLE STRAW AND BLUE LID!

Bubble Tea Facebook emoji reaction for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30! BLUE STRAW AND CLEAR LID!

Bubble Tea Youtube Google emoji reaction for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30! PURPLE STRAW AND GREEN LID!

Bubble tea emoji options on Emojipedia for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30!

Two bubble teas as a Facebook sticker for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30! Green straw and pink straw!

Facebook sticker: A happy cat with bubble tea for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30!

Pixelated bubble tea art Facebook sticker for National Bubble Tea Day 2023 today on April 30! PINK AND PURPLE BUBBLE TEA!

President’s Choice Original dish detergent, one litre!

President’s Choice Orange Fresh dish detergent, one litre!

President’s Choice Sensitive Skin dish detergent, one litre!

President’s Choice Original 2X dish detergent, 638 mL… YAY!

President’s Choice Ultra Lavender dish detergent, 739 mL… YAY!

President’s Choice Oxi dish detergent, 739 mL… YAY!

President’s Choice Ultra Green Apple dish detergent, 739 mL… YAY!

NEW Softsoap Coconut and Hibiscus hand soap refill bottle!

Apr
29

IT WAS HOT WEATHER TODAY AT 24 DEGREES! The Toronto Maple Leafs beat the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game 6 and advanced to the second round of the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time in about twenty years, so I talked to Phil briefly about that on Discord PM.

From Walmart: NEW limited-edition Old El Paso Pillsbury beef and cheese Taco Pizza Pops BOX!

Apr
28

Edit at 10 PM: I finally called Auntie Ying, and she said that Joyce’s sister JOANNA DIED AT AGE 31?! JESUS CHRIST. Of course she had to make it all religious and mentioned her parents James and Cecilia. Jon said, “Wow” and white Eric confirmed because he plays OVERWATCH with Joyce and Cordia sometimes, and watched the very sad funeral on Youtube. Auntie Ying also said that she has a huge family reunion coming up from May 3 to May 31, and is already stressed because she offered to let her sister stay over. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Her brother and sister-in-law are coming from Hong Kong, her sister is coming, and a lot of people are going to be around. She thinks the nearby park put up their canopy because God told them to do that. *rolleyes* Uh, no, they did that because of the sunny weather. She also mentioned that Uncle Lewis, Auntie Kathy, and Chrystal all had Covid – FUCK.

25 funny sarcastic disappointing life affirmations from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz!

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Prioritize your mental health. Schedule your meltdowns in advance.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: One day, you will die. Until then, you’ll just have to settle for being dead inside.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Always remember: Whenever someone asks how you are, just make up a lie like “I’m good.” No one wants to hear about your problems.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: It’s never too late to change. So just wait until you absolutely have to.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Every failure is a success when you self-sabotage.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: You’re doing the best that you can. Which is pretty sad.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Just be yourself. But less you. Diet You.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Today, I will work on not hating myself. I will hate everyone else instead.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Your feelings are valid. Just maybe have less of them.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Today, I am only saying YES to things that spark joy. Like saying no.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Don’t. Give up.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Why do something right away when you can wait until it gives you a panic attack?

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Stop paying so much attention to what other people say. Most people are fucking idiots.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: You are not alone. People are literally everywhere. With their stupid problems and shitty attitudes. You only WISH you were alone.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Not every day is precious. Waste today. You deserve it.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Let go of what doesn’t serve you. Like your standards. I mean, who the fuck do you think you are?

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: It gets easier. Eventually, you just stop giving a fuck.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Is it really love or are they just someone you met online and trauma-dumped all over?

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Have a meltdown. As a treat.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: No one is coming to save you. You are the adult. I am so sorry.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Disappointed? That’s what you get for expecting things.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: The only person you can truly rely on is you. What a fucking nightmare.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do. That’s a job for your insecurities.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Stop worrying about what other people think. I mean, have you met other people? They’re awful.

Disappointing life affirmation from Lazy Rabbit and Spoz: Do something nice for someone today. Leave them alone. Life is hard enough without your bullshit.

Apr
27

I went out at 2:20 on a 401 to the Indigo Chapters at Richmond Centre so I could hopefully get ten times the Plum Reward Points on the Winnie The Pooh Five-Minute Stories Disney book and the Legends, Icons, and Rebels: Music That Changed The World book for my nephews’ Ayler and Beckett’s double birthdays. The manager Owen had to help me and the female clerk out with his “magic fingers” because the old gift card didn’t work even though the numbers were correct, and the new one didn’t work either! I carefully looked over the order after I checked out on the website, and the 10x Plum Points seemed to be applied, so I showed the clerk when it said that I could review and place the order using the $41 already on my gift card. IT WORKED! After texting Harmony (who responded “thanks”), I decided that I could definitely justify going to the Keg Yaletown for some prime rib on National Prime Rib Day 2023 just this once with my budget since I’d used gift card funds to pay for the books. It was delicious, and I just managed to get the 401 at Brighouse to get home at 6:35 PM after some “elite bombing.”

Dinnertime at the Keg Yaletown: A 14-ounce medium rare prime rib with garlic mashed potatoes for National Prime Rib Day 2023 today on April 27! Garlic mashed potatoes, horseradish, onion fritters, and red wine herb jus.

[lj-cut text=”Steak emojis and WHAT A BLAST book!”]A Cut Of Meat Discord emote for National Steak Day on April 25, National Prime Rib Day 2023 today on April 27, and Filet Mignon Day 2023 on August 13!

A Cut Of Meat Facebook emoji reaction for National Steak Day on April 25, National Prime Rib Day 2023 today on April 27, and Filet Mignon Day 2023 on August 13!

A Cut Of Meat Youtube Google emoji reaction for National Steak Day on April 25, National Prime Rib Day 2023 today on April 27, and Filet Mignon Day 2023 on August 13!

Minecraft STEAKS emoji from Clovepod in the Flying Tree 2.0 Discord server!

Winnie The Pooh Five-Minute Stories Disney book for my nephew Beckett’s 5th birthday:

Legends, Icons, and Rebels: Music That Changed The World book for my nephew Ayler’s 11th birthday:

This music book is about Chuck Berry, Johnny Cash, Aretha Franklin, the Beatles, Louis Armstrong, Bob Marley, Buddy Holly, Joni Mitchell, Ray Charles, Elvis Presley, Curtis Mayfield, Billie Holiday, Little Richard, Hank Williams, Frank Sinatra, Marvin Gaye, Carole King, Sam Cooke, Louis Jordan, the Beach Boys, Ella Fitzgerald, James Brown, Patsy Cline, Otis Redding, Nat King Cole, Stevie Wonder, and Bob Dylan.

Winnie The Pooh Five-Minute Stories Disney book and the Legends, Icons, and Rebels: Music That Changed The World book

I saw this book at Indigo Chapters bookstore in Metrotown: WHAT A BLAST! Fart games, fart puzzles, fart pranks, and MORE FARTS!

[/lj-cut]

Apr
26

Phil didn’t want Edmonton to win their playoff hockey game last night. I know. Ugh.

Then I read that Andrew Wadden got stabbed to death at Crab Park last May 2022. JESUS CHRIST!

I got my second gifted membership for MegaHarv’s YouTube channel, thanks to Scott Rausch!

All these bananas at the grocery store are NOT corn priced at four for a dollar! YOU HAD ONE JOB!

Apr
25

Phil sent me a Discord PM to say that yes, Tampa did indeed blow their hockey playoff game last night. Harmony finally texted me back this morning since one small gift for each nephew is a good idea: Numbers, connect-the dots, paint by numbers or sticker by numbers, a good narrative, or dice for Beckett; numbers, cooking, music, or maybe a board game (depending on the game) for Ayler. She’s sure that they’d appreciate whatever I eventually get them. The white maintenance technician came by at 11:35 AM to paint and sand the bathroom ceiling plus doorway, and left at 12:30 PM so I could finally get on with my day. I also sent Phil a PM when I heard that Edmonton won 6-3 against Los Angeles in THEIR hockey playoff hockey game.

Linda Foltin’s LAZY EXCUSE for not including paragraph breaks in a Quora wall of text that takes up at least three phone screens: “I’ve heard of paragraphs, but they take up too much wasted space. This is an intellectual comment site.” POOR EXCUSE!

A pretzel Discord emote for National Pretzel Day 2023 today on April 25!

A pretzel Facebook emoji reaction for National Pretzel Day 2023 today on April 25!

A pretzel Youtube Google emoji reaction for National Pretzel Day 2023 today on April 25!

A telephone Discord emote for National Telephone Day 2023 today on April 25!

A telephone Facebook emoji reaction for National Telephone Day 2023 today on April 25!

A telephone Youtube Google emoji reaction for National Telephone Day 2023 today on April 25!

Apr
24

Edit at 10 PM: Planning ahead, I texted Harmony to ask about birthday present ideas for Ayler and Beckett. I also predict that Phil’s Leaf fan friends will be obnoxious since they won 5-4 against Tampa Bay tonight in the hockey playoffs, coming back from a 4-1 deficit in the third period to force overtime…

From Tsukiyo 月夜 in HS Discord server: Literally, two feet of snow!

Zygote! FETUS!

A Red Wine Glass Discord emote for International Sauvignon Blanc Day 2023 today on April 24!

A Red Wine Glass Facebook emoji reaction for International Sauvignon Blanc Day 2023 today on April 24!

A Red Wine Glass Youtube Google emoji reaction for International Sauvignon Blanc Day 2023 today on April 24!

Apr
23

Talked to Michael Mervin on Discord PM about Scott Pilgrim and how annoying he was in MegaHarv’s Discord server. Auntie Cathy sent me a WhatsApp message at 5:55 PM saying that she’d just tested positive for Covid, so she’ll have to postpone tomorrow’s lunch. Fine by me!

Books Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! Blue, yellow, and purple books!

Books Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! Blue, green, and red books!

Books Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! Red, green, and blue books!

Bookmark Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! Red bookmark in a closed grey book!

Bookmark Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! Red bookmark with a star and tied red ribbon!

Bookmark Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! Red bookmark with a brown ribbon!

Green Book Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Green Book Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Green Book Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Blue Book Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Blue Book Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Blue Book Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Orange Book Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Orange Book Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Orange Book Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23!

Open Book Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! BLUE BOOK!

Open Book Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! BROWN BOOK WITH BLACK BOOKMARK!

Open Book Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! RED BOOK!

Closed Book Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! RED BOOK!

Closed Book Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! RED BOOK!

Closed Book Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! RED BOOK!

Ledger Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! YELLOW COILED BOOK!

Ledger Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! YELLOW COILED BOOK!

Ledger Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! YELLOW COILED BOOK!

Notebook Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! LIGHT GREY AND DARK GRAY SQUARES!

Notebook Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! BLACK AND WHITE MARBLING WITH LABEL!

Notebook Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! BLACK AND WHITE PATTERN WITH LABEL!

Notebook with Decorative Cover Discord emote for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! BROWN BOOK WITH LABEL!

Notebook with Decorative Cover Facebook emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! PINK BOOK WITH FLOWER PATTERN!

Notebook with Decorative Cover Youtube Google emoji reaction for World Book Day 2023 today on April 23! YELLOW BOOK WITH LABEL!

Bread Discord emote for National Zucchini Bread Day 2023 today on April 23!

Bread Facebook emoji reaction for National Zucchini Bread Day 2023 today on April 23!

Bread Youtube Google emoji reaction for National Zucchini Bread Day 2023 today on April 23!

Apr
22

SHOWER TIME! LAUNDRY TIME! It’s Earth Day 2023 today! I went out at 11:40 AM on a 401 to go to London Drugs. I thought I’d get pillowcases there, but NO! I even got an employee to help me! The towel and pillowcase back room is GONE?! After buying two small reusable bags (still 99 cents each) and two big reusable bags (NOW TWO DOLLARS EACH?!), I perforce went across the street to the Bay to pay $16 for a Gluckenstein Home standard white pillowcase set, although it was “on sale” because of Bay Days. Got home at 12:45 PM on a 401. Randal just emailed me about his two newer cats. Nice! Talked to Phil briefly on Discord PM.

Gluckenstein Home standard white pillowcases from the Bay!

A Discord Globe Showing Asia-Australia emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Globe Showing Asia-Australia Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Globe Showing Asia-Australia Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Discord Globe Showing Europe-Africa emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Globe Showing Europe-Africa Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Globe Showing Europe-Africa Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Discord Globe Showing Americas emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys! North America and South America!

A Globe Showing Americas Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys! North America and South America!

A Globe Showing Americas Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys! North America and South America!

A World Map Discord emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A World Map Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A World Map Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Black Universal Recycling Symbol Discord emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Black Universal Recycling Symbol Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Black Universal Recycling Symbol Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Deciduous Tree Discord emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Deciduous Tree Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Deciduous Tree Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!

A Herb Discord emote for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys! Also good for 420!

A Herb Facebook emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys! Also good for 420!

A Herb Youtube Google emoji reaction for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys! Also good for 420!

A heart-shaped Earth In This Together Facebook sticker for Earth Day 2023 today on April 22, guys!