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Archive for the ‘jasmine’ Category

Jenise Jenkins?! / Thimble of milk! / Cunt necklace! / Ex-friend Winnie Pang!

January 18, 2018

From NIGHTMARE NEXT DOOR: THE GIRL IN THE BOX: Jenise Jenkins?! (the Colleen Stan kidnapping case / Cameron and Janice Hooker kidnappers) That’s an… interesting… twist on Denise… Thank God my child put this milk jug back in the fridge in case I find a recipe that calls for a thimble of milk… said no […]

A magical poop-stealing water chair! / A shit poop rainbow! / Holy Poop!

December 15, 2017

Auntie Bessy added me on Facebook, haha. Nice! I also got a Christmas photo card in the mail from Steph, Lisa, Fraser, and Henry – AWESOME! From Jazmin and I’m Not Right in the Head.com: This magical poop-stealing water chair only works if you hold the handle down at least three seconds. Please remember to […]

Turd Baby is a store?! / Toilet Kool Koozie! / Abraham Smutz?! / Aletha Reed?!

November 7, 2017

From Engrish: There’s a store called Turd Baby?! From Jazmin and Neatorama: The Toilet Kool Koozie! Are you looking for a polite way to tell someone that you do not approve of their choice of canned beverage? You need the Toilet Kool Koozie from the NeatoShop. This reusable and easy-to-clean drink holder makes it perfectly […]

Birthday cats and guitars, White Spot curried red quinoa, GLISS shampoo

September 17, 2017

Mom and Dad picked me up at 5:50 with a bunch of stuff, detailed below. We went to White Spot because I vetoed Dinesty. It’s my birthday, so I get to choose, dammit! We talked about Steph, this upcoming winter, Jon needing to be a parent (I don’t care!), Netflix, Auntie Grace, Dave He, Auntie […]

Awiey Hernandez and Huquan Gavin, Hello Kitty Goodbye Kitty, ketchup and mustard

May 21, 2017

I felt like I could finally take a shower tonight, so I did. 😀 I’m definitely going to do my laundry in a bit, too. 😀 From my FAST-ACTING LONG-LASTING Bathroom Reader #18: Awiey Hernandez and Huquan Gavin?! From Jazmin: Hello Kitty! Goodbye Kitty! The hole is her butthole! Written in ketchup and mustard: “We […]

Shawnteal, Jazmyn, and Jaxon Bieber?! / Aireka is Erika?! / Emery Deathrage!

May 18, 2017

Justin Bieber has a cousin named SHAWNTEAL?! Justin Bieber has half-siblings named JAZMYN and JAXON?! From Julie: Aireka?! Only Airwrecka surpasses that, purely because “air wreck” is an awful thing to have in your name! From Reddit: Emery Deathrage?!

Kiplyn Davis, shits and giggles, a cow waiting for the MOTHER 3 highway washroom

May 15, 2017

From NIGHTMARE NEXT DOOR: Kiplyn Davis?! From Jazmin and The Leaking Bucket List: It’s all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits. Lucas, Kumatora, Duster, and Boney finally make it to the highway in MOTHER 3. They see a cow waiting in line for the highway washroom! This woman says, “Get to the back […]

Going as a whore for Halloween, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, Chip Broyles

October 29, 2016

“But if you go as a whore, how will anyone know you’re in a costume?” This describes my ex-friend Jasmine quite well, haha! From Julie S., who thought that the movie description was funny: GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH: Yoshio Tsuchiya, Anna Nakagawa. (1991) The reptilian monster goes head-to-head-to-head-to-head with a flying, three-headed creature from the […]

No tofu or asparagus! / Fridges and refrigerators! / Wesley’s meloncide!

June 14, 2016

I left for Harmony’s at 3:35 with the remaining five Krispy Kreme doughnuts from Saturday, and just missed both buses, so there was a note on the door (about the park near my parents’ place) when I finally got to the house. Apparently, Ayler was smart and negotiated things so that he could go to […]

Name of the Year Archives 1! (331 names)

April 18, 2016

These are mostly from the Name of the Year archives. Cash Dixon Ringo Starlight?! Xzavie Jackson?! Monique Lawless?! Brothers named Sylvester Andre Thompson, Sylvester Durlentren Thompson, and Sylvester Primitvo Thompson?! Taco, Apple, Pork, Peper, Cofi, Colby, Pepci, Cinamaon-T, Chili, Sage, Bran, and Dentyne Pope?! Ignatius Babbage-Hockey?! Imogen Poots?! Ferrett Steinmetz?! theferrett doesn’t want to go […]