Jawn Jang?! / Oscar Dansk and Paul Zwambag?! / Pregnant smoker and jackhammers?!

From Reddit: Around here, Sportsnet 650 has an announcer named JAWN JANG?! The Vegas Golden Knights have a goalie named Oscar Dansk, JUST LIKE THE ROYAL DANSK COOKIES! I also like the writer’s name: Paul ZWAMBAG! That sounds somehow badass! From THE ROANOKE TIMES in September 2004: Mellisa Williamson, 35, a Bulitt Avenue resident, worries […]

Scotland Williams, Björn Westling, Brandon Greif, Cerise Gwendolynn Gardner

Since I was up at 8 AM, it was COFFEE TIME BY DEFAULT! From THE NEW DETECTIVES: Scotland Williams?! From Not Always Working: Björn Westling?! This is only notable because I will forever misread the last name as WRESTLING. From Not Always Working: Brandon Greif?! This is only notable because I will forever misread the […]

Susan Tellem in public relations?! / Norm Reeder in charge of LIBRARY programs?!

From ALL-PURPOSE BATHROOM READER #13: Susan Tellem is a public relations executive?! From ALL-PURPOSE BATHROOM READER #13: Norm REEDER is in charge of Torrance LIBRARY programs?!

Chili cheese chips! / Green bubble wrap! / Milk to beer! / Sad payday realities!

I AM DONE WITH DAN SAVAGE – he’s gone downhill since 1994! I went to both banks at 3:20 and paid my Shaw bill online today. I went to the Shoppers Drug Mart post office and bought some

Windmills, throwing Kleenexes, Sterling Lovelady, Sterling Knight, Dick Wiggler

I left for Harmony’s at 4:15, just missing the 407 and just managing to get the 401 because I ran across the street when it was not my signal. When I got to the house, I focused on seeing if Hiero would eat his snack. Mom gave me $3 in cash, plus a bag of […]

Winter of our discount tents, 1981 Kraft Dinner, Wendy Wacko, Thomas Fister

From Alice: Now is the winter of our discount tents at Richard III Camping Goods in Leicester, England! Someone donated a box of 32-year-old Kraft Dinner from 1981 to the Surrey food bank in December 2013 during the annual CFOX Santa Fox food drive! Heath Cockburn?! Wendy Wacko is a real estate agent… Thomas Fister?!

Rich Will Wanket, Yolanda Squatpump, Dick Tips

Rich Will Wanket is a real estate agent in Minneapolis! Yolanda Squatpump! Dick Tips is in the business of compassion! Here’s a garden with flowers!

Leeanne Cox, Kleenex x12, Dial soap, 1% milk expiring on JULY 15, no homo milk

Leeanne Cox added me to Facebook, probably from Wendy’s school reunion page. Can’t believe it’s been twenty years! Someone named Fuji Mizuno added me on there as well, but I don’t know her. Went to London Drugs later to get some much-needed on-sale Scotties EnviroCare Kleenex ($4.99 for 840 sheets [six boxes] x2), on-sale Dial […]

Bruins-Canucks idea, presents I’d like, and branches of philosophy

I decided to call Chinese Eric, who answered the phone on my second try. We talked about my pre-Christmas hangout idea of watching the Bruins-Canucks game on Saturday evening; he’ll call me sometime on Saturday to figure things out! The call will probably happen, haha. Discussed cooking, Hagen’s packages, Mike picking up a LOT of […]

Out of service?! SLOW! / Robert Griffin III shirt / Ayler and Ningtu photos

I decided to call Michael, but the number was out of service; I was probably dialing too slowly since I wasn’t sure if I wanted to disturb him anyway. Tried it again a bit later, and at least it rang; he was probably sleeping, so it was fine. Decided to call Chinese Eric at 9:30 […]