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Archive for the ‘adam’ Category

A Killer Pickup Line, Doug Kidney, Ohkanda Riki, Abhi Mayadam, Sarah Moray

July 21, 2017

Jon’s friend Jason Lyle added me to Facebook – what?! From Janina and Not Always Right: A Killer Pickup Line! “You’re pretty. You look like someone in my book on serial killers.” Noel has a Facebook friend named Doug KIDNEY, haha! From Not Always Working: Ohkanda Riki?! From Not Always Right: Abhi Mayadam?! From Not […]

Too many assholes! Not enough axes! / Soylent Green gibberish! / Tequila Matthew

March 15, 2017

It’s the Ides of March today! Mom tried emailing me for some hot pot meal, but I am not going to make it out. I don’t want to be in Vancouver by 11 AM, thanks! From Krista and Victory or Valhalla: Too many assholes! Not enough axes! In JONBOUND, Jon Otis tries to view the […]

Genesis and gay marriage / Bananas going bad / London Drugs: Gum in emergencies!

February 21, 2017

From Rock 101: Those people who are against gay marriage and say, “In Genesis, it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” are so narrow-minded. Everyone knows that in Genesis, it was Phil, Mike, and Tony. From Reddit and Extra Fabulous Comics: A guy in his kitchen says, “Aw man. These bananas are going […]

God, please cure my hangover! / Homicidal maniacs / Aliens and bulldozers!

January 14, 2017

From Rob: Please, God, cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again. Also, please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again. From Julie and THE ADDAMS FAMILY: “This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look like everybody else.” says Wednesday Addams. The COGNITIVE DISSONANCE party (Alinivar / […]

Poor, defenseless dragon! / Summarize the book! / Document LEFT BEHIND THE FLOOR

November 21, 2016

Poor, defenseless dragon! / Summarize the book! / Document LEFT BEHIND THE FLOOR From Julie, Creepy Stuff, and THE ADDAMS FAMILY: “A knight in shining armor. He killed the dragon.” “I can’t believe anyone would kill a dragon.” “The poor, defenseless dragon.” #DragonLivesMatter Teacher to a student named Jen: “No, I said SUMMARIZE the book…” […]

DRAGONS LOVE TACOS, David Waterhouse, a blank Facebook security check

May 20, 2016

There’s a kids’ book called DRAGONS LOVE TACOS! David Waterhouse definitely has to live on a houseboat… Dr. Lisa Minge is a gynecologist?! Louise Story is a reporter?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COMPLETE A BLANK FACEBOOK SECURITY CHECK EXCEPT THROUGH BLIND GUESSING?!

Canucks, do something! / Easter bunny butt / Passion Martin and her 11 siblings

March 25, 2016

Vanessa found this picture and passed it on to me: C’mon, Canucks, DO SOMETHING! Easter Bunny #1 with its tail missing: “My butt hurts.” Easter Bunny #2 with its ears missing: “What?” Brinessa Martin of Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia: mom to her twelve children Samantha Jayne, Shantelle Victoria, Stephanie Catherine, Shania Kay, Jenaya Lee, […]

Hogg-Paradise, Knapp-Sack, Farmer-Plant, and other bad hyphenated names!

January 27, 2016

Hogg-Paradise! Knapp-Sack! Farmer-Plant! Ware-Wolfe! Burger-King! Duer-Early! (do her early) Green-Weiner! Halleran-Schouten! Johnson-Muncher! Fedder-Oates! (fed her oats) Gass-Kramp! Weiner-Happe! Toy-Ohta! Love-Tickle!

Farting on Air Canada, marijuana, Gaylord Silly, Doudou Masta, Everhard Dick

November 11, 2015

On an Air Canada plane: “This is your captain speaking… The passenger in row 35 is requested to immediately stop farting.” United Against Homophobia: “It all makes sense now: Gay marriage legalized on the same day as marijuana makes perfect biblical sense. Leviticus 20:13 says ‘A man who lays with another man should be stoned.’ […]

Shoyu tonkatsu! / Brian Gionta’s wife is named Harvest?! / Tondalo Hall?!

October 5, 2015

Last night, I called Jeremy and said that I actually couldn’t make it, blaming things on Sunday bus schedules. At least he had the right tone to his voice when he said “oh no!” Next time, maybe! I went out at 3:30 this afternoon, just managed to get the 410 at Brighouse, then browsed the […]