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Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Correcting grammar is NOT ableist or classist… / Fritz Onion is a name?!

January 10, 2020

There was snow today! (Beckett stacking: SO CUTE!) From multiple Discord servers on September 24, 2019: No, Tabasco Guy, you said QUEUE when you obviously meant CUE. You’re an idiot. If “blocking” me on there makes you “feel better,” go ahead since it won’t actually make any difference. (Shiwa’s server) No, Don Cherry’s Suits in […]

Uncle John’s BRIEFS, FUNNIEST EVER, STRANGE SCIENCE, and STRANGE HISTORY!

January 8, 2020

After COFFEE TIME, I left at 12:35 on a 407 for my dentist appointment with Sean on FRASER instead of Oakridge – sigh. I had to leave myself plenty of time for getting lost (seeing Krista at Gilbert and Westminster – “Ontario is a magical place because I’ve never been there”?!), and had to take […]

Joanne and Gianina?! / Ashley and Pressley?! / Mod Sun?! / A. Purdy Outhouse?!

December 31, 2019

From Julie and DANCE MOMS: Joanne is fine, but Gianina?! Choose between Gianna, Gina, or Nina! From Julie and DANCE MOMS: Ashley is fine, but Pressley?! BAD SPELLING OF PRESLEY! Especially if it’ll be pronounced the exact same way… From Julie: Mod Sun?! From Michelle S. and her friend Cindy Cameron: A. Purdy Outhouse?! Yum, […]

Stoner Elf Name! / ChristmasFlamHam! / Suitcases! / Chrystal Xmas / Dirty jokes!

December 6, 2019

DIRTY JOKES! How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating. What’s the speed limit of sex? 68! At 69, you have to turn around. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me! Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they […]

Bison joke! Buffalo puns! / ENTER SANDMAN lullaby! EXIT LIGHT! ENTER NIGHT!

November 30, 2019

I had to do laundry today on the THIRD FLOOR, and had to go back down to my suite to grab actual cash money! UGH! The Canucks played Edmonton tonight at 7, and won 5-2! Mushroom soup! What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? “Bison.” Julie M. sent this […]

Chinatown, Wisconsin?! / Karen on 911 ensuring Kyle’s death va shooting!

November 26, 2019

I attempted some packing – the backpack is fine for now, but the suitcase’s handle is off?! UGH! Chinatown, Wisconsin?! From Ryan B. and My middle finger has a boner: Karen was cleaning Kyle’s rifle and accidentally shot him. She calls 911. “It’s my husband. I’ve accidentally shot him, I’ve killed him.” 911 Operator: “Please […]

A salt rifle for $999! / Peculiar, Missouri?! / Nathson, Nathina, and Torrence?!

November 21, 2019

After COFFEE TIME, I left at 3:05 on a 401 for my appointment with Dr. Ruby (which was not exactly informative – but I did get my prescription renewed), but I had to hurry back after wasting time at the Dollar Tree and Big Crazy after not being able to find Advent calendars or dumplings! […]

George, Washington?! / Mixed messages about dumping your dead body in the river!

November 17, 2019

Bunnies outside in mid-November! Dr. Oetker Chocolate Brownie Cake, the last of the four new flavors! George, Washington?! From Janina: Somewhere along the way, you got the impression that I won’t kill you and dump your body in the river. I apologize for sending mixed messages.

Satan’s Kingdom, Massachusetts?! / Stabbing a guy! / Enlarged Canucks icon 2!

November 7, 2019

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played Chicago today at 5:30, and lost 5-2… the Blackhawks didn’t even need the TWO EMPTY-NET GOALS to defeat us! Satan’s Kingdom, Massachusetts?! There’s also one in Vermont. Satan’s Kingdom, Vermont?! From Janina: If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done. Maybe stab a […]

Winnie the Pooh taking a poop at lunch and at work!

November 7, 2019

At least I texted Frances yesterday to wish her a happy early birthday! Auntie Bessy wants to meet up with me for breakfast tomorrow at 9 AM near Kam Do Bakery. Sure, I guess so. Winnie the Pooh on Reddit: Taking a poop on your lunch break vs. taking a poop after clocking in for […]