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Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Happy Canada Day! / A Canada Day birthday cake! / Beau Titsworth plays golf?!

July 1, 2018

HAPPY CANADA DAY! 151 YEARS OLD! I left at 5:55 to get two 3-subject Hilroy notebooks in green and light blue from London Drugs, returning home at 6:40 on a late 407. From Reddit: A Canada Day birthday cake! Happy Birthd’eh! Beau Titsworth?! Advertisements

Shamoil T. Shipchandler?! / Seon, Karac, Paradise, Isha, and Brantley?!

June 7, 2018

Shamoil T. Shipchandler?! From Julie: Seon?! It’s pronounced like “see-on.” From Julie: Karac?! From Julie: Paradise is Isha’s baby boy?! From Julie: Isha?! Apparently, none of the three men was the father of her baby… From Julie: Brantley?!

Sparkle Hayter?! / Cue and Queue are different! / Joquita, Celecia, and Laricko!

May 30, 2018

I spent a few minutes cutting off the care labels on my MARTEX washcloths, then threw away the sticky Western Family vanilla Greek yogurt and Kozy Shack tapioca pudding tubs. Sparkle Hayter?! From the May 14, 2018 Discord update: QUEUE is not a substitute for CUE! Discord, why are you not more professional?! From Julie: […]

Don’t assume I’m angry because I’m on my period! / Raccoon! / Scumbag Uterus!

March 14, 2018

I discovered redrum today – ugh! Then I snapped at Jimmy, but that was after I told him about my discovery. He sent me a Happy Pi Day gif which actually made me smile, laugh, and cackle for about two minutes, which he later said was his intention. I appreciated it, for sure! Happy Pi […]

Don’t ever litter the litter! / Coffee and getting drunk!

February 8, 2018

From Legends of Localization: Alena, Cristo, and Brey go to the DRAGON WARRIOR IV town of Tempe. They get into the offering litter. “Don’t ever litter the litter.” “This is no time for puns, Shaman.” From Lost Pinup: Coffee keeps me busy until it’s time to get drunk.

Do not elect Donald Trump! / Gandalf at Applebee’s! / Jay-Z! Jay-Zzzzzzz!

February 7, 2018

Barry called me at 11:40 to see if I could reschedule the appointment on Wednesday the 21st to the next day (the 22nd – a Thursday) at 10:45 AM since he had to take someone to the doctor. I guess so… From Paul Saxberg and Pete: Dear America: You elected George H.W. Bush. We gave […]

Willem Dafoe! Willem Dafriend! Willem Dafuq! / Déja Moo / Bacon!

February 6, 2018

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played Florida at 4:30 today, and lost 3-1, partly thanks to an empty-net goal. From Julie: Willem Dafoe! Willem Dafriend! Willem Dafuq! From Exceptional Living: Déja Moo is the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. Share this image of bacon for no reason!

Robert De Niro! Robert De Faro! / Peter Klaven?! / Pushing the envelope!

February 3, 2018

The Canucks played Tampa Bay at 7 tonight, and lost 4-2, thanks in part to a bullshit penalty shot call. From Julie: Robert De Niro! Robert De Faro! From Smosh: There’s a realtor named Peter Klaven?! Just like the I LOVE YOU, MAN character! From Pete and Punny Pete: No matter how much you push […]

Hotel Kuntz?! / BLACK PEPPER SALMON JERKY! / Paqui Haunted Ghost Pepper!

February 1, 2018

SO MUCH ON-SALE BLACK PEPPER SALMON JERKY, OH MY! After I had COFFEE TIME, Barry picked me up at 10:50 and we went to Price Smart. I got Kraft Dinner Spirals macaroni and cheese (just so I could bug Flynne about it later), Almond Roca Thins (Extra Dark Chocolate!), on-sale JOY dumplings x4 (Lamb and […]

Olivia Wilde! Olivia Civilized! / Diane Gooch?! / Typing and Internet arguments

January 25, 2018

The Canucks played Buffalo at 7 tonight, and lost 4-0. It was 2-0 until Markstrom poorly handled a goal, then 4-0 on an empty-net goal. DAMMIT! From Julie: Olivia Wilde! Olivia Civilized! From OLD FAITHFUL Bathroom Reader #30: Diane Gooch was a politician?! Never get into an argument with someone who types faster than you.