Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Despresso, Auntie Catherine, Lakeside Grill, Mayfair Lakes, seafood linguine

September 16, 2020

Joke: What do you call a sad coffee? A Despresso! Yesterday, I found a Facebook group for people born on September 17! AWESOME! I totally joined after answering their three questions, OF COURSE! BIRTHDAY BUDDIES GALORE! After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 9:30 on a 401 to meet Auntie Catherine at Aberdeen Station at […]

Western Family sockeye salmon snack! / Sirloin steak breakfast, A8, and masks!

August 17, 2020

I texted Walter at 9 AM to see whether he was working today or tomorrow, so since he was, I decided to go out at 10:10 on a 407. I ended up with a London Drugs 540 mL white porcelain coffee mug, $35 cash in laundry loonies and quarters from BMO (two months earlier than […]

Cheap pi tipping! $3.14! / How would I die in a slasher film? GENERATOR!

August 16, 2020

Today is National Rum Day! Mom invaded my text messages again to say that SHE wanted to give me some seaweed snacks since they’ll be at the body shop in Richmond anyway – JUST DROP IT OFF AT THE DOOR BECAUSE IT’S UNNECESSARY CONTACT! FUCK YOU FOR CAUSING ME MORE STRESS! THEN she got all […]

Pho Lan #7, Garnier Castor Oil with maple sap, Korean-style BEEF bowl for dinner

August 12, 2020

I left at 11:50 on a 414 (with legitimate UNMASKED deaf people using sign language…) to go to Pho Lan for some Pho, thanks to some late-night discussions with Cuya’s Twitch crew. This was after Duncan pissed me off momentarily by ordering us not to talk about politics (after I was JUST reacting to Leon’s […]

CHANTELLE! / Marie de Medici, weight, and sitting on your face!

August 11, 2020

Chantelle finally reactivated her Facebook account again, so of course I took the opportunity to snag a photo of her for my Wacky Family and Friends album! Robert added me to a Canucks fan Facebook group chat… but Sue Friesen, Glen Goldberg, and the disrespectful Dave Doiron were in it. I’m NOT in the mood […]

August morning hockey! / Greek-style Beef Gyro for lunch!

August 6, 2020

COFFEE TIME because of a MORNING SUMMER HOCKEY GAME IN AUGUST! Eric H. texted me about the early game, too. The Canucks played Playoff Qualifying Game #3 against the Wild at 11:30 AM, and won 3-0! Hughes, Petey, Boeser, and MORE! Breakfast: Paldo lobster noodles! King noodles! King cup noodles! Western Family Booster Bowl: Greek-style […]

Facebook Prison isn’t a joke! THINK BEFORE YOU MEME! / Towels and Pringles chips

August 1, 2020

I went out shopping at 9:15 AM on a 401 today with my Asian old lady shopping cart for pasta sauce, pasta, and some other things. Went to Shoppers Drug Mart for Hungry-Man Salisbury Steak, Heinz baked beans x3 (original / deep-browned in tomato sauce and pork / maple), on-sale Classico pasta sauce x3 (Italian […]

ShaMichael Manuel, Sharkeisha Thomas, and Olevia Henderson?! / Wang On Blinds!

July 30, 2020

Mom decided to send me a barrage of text messages without identifying herself, and assuming I’d want to spend ANY time with her today with only five hours of notice. HA! Good thing I only check my phone when it’s convenient for ME! ShaMichael Manuel, Sharkeisha Thomas, and Olevia Henderson?! BAD SPELLING OF OLIVIA! Yes, […]

Westward Ho! is in England?! / T’Ann Grindle?! / Reddit Take My Energy award!

July 24, 2020

After COFFEE TIME / DEODORANT TIME / ASPIRIN TIME, I left at 1:55 on a 401 for my dentist appointment at 3 with Sean on FRASER, setting a new record for the farthest I’ve been during the coronavirus pandemic! I just missed the Canada Line, but that was okay since I still managed to get […]

Jokes! / CHOCOLATE EATER BLUES / Exponents and pasta! / Fahrenheit is confusing!

July 20, 2020

A few miscellaneous jokes and one-liners: It’s just a phone call, not an atomic bomb! I hate when people ask me what I’ll be doing in one year. Come on, guys. I don’t have 2020 vision. Who can drink five litres of gas without getting sick? Jerry can! I called Ayler at 6:55 and for […]