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Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Coronavirus and Spongebob, Pi Day T-shirts, Pi Day 2015, Coronavirus + Confucius

March 14, 2020

TODAY IS PI DAY 2020! From Julie: Coronavirus is a green monster attempting to attack Spongebob! He’s lived through the bird flu, swine flu, measles, Ebola, Y2K, 2012, Justin Bieber… This black python T-shirt is from Julie and Amazon for Pi Day 2020: What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 metres long? A PI-thon! […]

Free Canadian healthcare = free feelings check / Tacy Gash?! / Auston Matthews?!

March 2, 2020

My computer gave me a heart attack this morning when both the keyboard and mouse weren’t responsive. I had to restart the thing! THEN it happened again this evening, of course right when I had stuff going in Notepad! I figure that Eric has to come over here and update the computer drivers, so texted […]

The Glory Hole Church?! Knobs and Knockers?! / Noushi?! SUSHI IS VERY YUMMY!

February 16, 2020

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played the Ducks today at 2, and lost 5-1, relinquishing first place in the Pacific Division. NOT A GOOD END TO SEDIN WEEK! From Julie and Anorak UK: The Glory Hole Church?! Knobs and Knockers?! From Julie and a game show called COMMON KNOWLEDGE: Noushi?! Reminds me of sushi – yummy!

Spruce Springclean carpet cleaning?! Pump N Munch?! / CELERY FOR YOUR COLON?!

February 8, 2020

The Canucks played Calgary tonight at 7, and lost 6-2, including an empty-netter… the first time we’ve lost four games in a row since November 10! I banned Richard C. Wilson for laughing at my official admin warning telling him to type with proper spelling and punctuation in the Fearsome Canucks Fans Facebook group. My […]

Correcting grammar is NOT ableist or classist… / Fritz Onion is a name?!

January 10, 2020

There was snow today! (Beckett stacking: SO CUTE!) From multiple Discord servers on September 24, 2019: No, Tabasco Guy, you said QUEUE when you obviously meant CUE. You’re an idiot. If “blocking” me on there makes you “feel better,” go ahead since it won’t actually make any difference. (Shiwa’s server) No, Don Cherry’s Suits in […]

Uncle John’s BRIEFS, FUNNIEST EVER, STRANGE SCIENCE, and STRANGE HISTORY!

January 8, 2020

After COFFEE TIME, I left at 12:35 on a 407 for my dentist appointment with Sean on FRASER instead of Oakridge – sigh. I had to leave myself plenty of time for getting lost (seeing Krista at Gilbert and Westminster – “Ontario is a magical place because I’ve never been there”?!), and had to take […]

Joanne and Gianina?! / Ashley and Pressley?! / Mod Sun?! / A. Purdy Outhouse?!

December 31, 2019

From Julie and DANCE MOMS: Joanne is fine, but Gianina?! Choose between Gianna, Gina, or Nina! From Julie and DANCE MOMS: Ashley is fine, but Pressley?! BAD SPELLING OF PRESLEY! Especially if it’ll be pronounced the exact same way… From Julie: Mod Sun?! From Michelle S. and her friend Cindy Cameron: A. Purdy Outhouse?! Yum, […]

Stoner Elf Name! / ChristmasFlamHam! / Suitcases! / Chrystal Xmas / Dirty jokes!

December 6, 2019

DIRTY JOKES! How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating. What’s the speed limit of sex? 68! At 69, you have to turn around. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I want you inside me! Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they […]

Bison joke! Buffalo puns! / ENTER SANDMAN lullaby! EXIT LIGHT! ENTER NIGHT!

November 30, 2019

I had to do laundry today on the THIRD FLOOR, and had to go back down to my suite to grab actual cash money! UGH! The Canucks played Edmonton tonight at 7, and won 5-2! Mushroom soup! What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? “Bison.” Julie M. sent this […]

Chinatown, Wisconsin?! / Karen on 911 ensuring Kyle’s death va shooting!

November 26, 2019

I attempted some packing – the backpack is fine for now, but the suitcase’s handle is off?! UGH! Chinatown, Wisconsin?! From Ryan B. and My middle finger has a boner: Karen was cleaning Kyle’s rifle and accidentally shot him. She calls 911. “It’s my husband. I’ve accidentally shot him, I’ve killed him.” 911 Operator: “Please […]