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Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Thomas BACON arrested in an assault about SAUSAGE! / Broccoli, mushroom, walnut

April 9, 2017

Ayler called me again at 12:50 to ask what time I’d be eating lunch and what time I’d be finished eating, so I told him that I’d be eating pasta at 1:30, but I’d have to make it first. Then Hiero said that he’d had a pink and white and red cupcake today: nice! Harmony […]

Rooster in a plant pot / Go and find another can! / Pre-fabricated wreckage

March 14, 2017

TODAY IS PI DAY! I called Hester this morning because my toilet flapper wasn’t working. She told me to please write her a note – DUH. At least she said a guy would come around lunchtime to look at my stove fan! They finally came by at 1:45 (that’s not lunch time!) and the guy […]

THE MADAM AS ENTREPRENEUR?! / Oxygen and carbon dioxide! / Ovary over-reactions!

March 8, 2017

It’s International Women’s Day today! I called Barry about my T5007 tax forms and food shopping today after trying for the last few days. He said he’d try to be here before noon, and he was here at 11:40. We went to Chimo and got it done for me to be home by noon. The […]

Ultima Morgan?! / Blood clots and Stalin, sand on Kefka’s boots, dragoon Edgar

February 27, 2017

Somehow, I woke up at 5:20 AM despite going to bed at 11:15 PM… ugh! Teresa says that Gwyneth has been found – PHEW! I looked out the window and saw MORE SNOW! From Julie: Ultima Morgan?! Ultima is a game or a FINAL FANTASY spell or weapon! Anti-Joke Chicken: What was the last thing […]

Mr. Dogfood, Oily Mincemeat, Lardna Mincemeat, Ness in pajamas, Lier X. Agerate

February 26, 2017

PRODUCT WARNING: I’m banning Aroi curry noodles from my apartment. They can make you shart, and give you diarrhea! In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness and Jeff teleport to Twoson from Fourside. They go to the Chaos theatre, where the Runaway Brothers were playing. The theatre manager is named MR. DOGFOOD?! In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness […]

Origami dragon, demons not washing hands, low bicycle seats, having stubby legs

January 23, 2017

I checked my mail, and got my last late 2016 Christmas card from Rose Fox (rosefox) of Holiday_Wishes! She also gave me an origami paper dragon (red and silver) to “use as a bookmark,” colorful sparkly happy face stickers, party owl stickers, and yellow emotion stickers. Varik, Paula, Jeff, and the Teddy Bear visit Dr. […]

Joking in the John, swimmy cats in the Magicant ground, ATM number in space

January 19, 2017

Hester called me at 10 PM, but I ignored it because she shouldn’t be calling that late. Since I woke up at 5:10 AM because I hadn’t eaten in about twelve hours, I decided to have that sushi combo for breakfast. At 8:30 AM, Hester called again, this time to inform me about pest control […]

Correct toilet paper rolling direction, chemistry H20, concentrated awesome

December 19, 2016

From CFOX: Rolling the toilet paper OVER the roll is right and good. Rolling the toilet paper UNDER the roll is wrong and bad. Waiter: “Can I take your drink order?” Chemist: “I’m a chemist, so I’ll just have some H20.” Chemist’s friend: “LOL, I’ll have some H2O, too.” Chemist drinks water, and his friend […]

Keep CHRIST in Christmas / Shit on your own floor / THE ONETT TIMES in Hollyanna

November 18, 2016

Brace yourselves – the “Keep ‘Christ’ in Christmas” posts are coming! From Wesley: When you’re willing to do anything just to drop a few ounces… even shit on your own floor! After escaping from the zombie-infested Hollyanna suburbs, the HALLOW’S END party (Sally / Craig / Clyde) stays overnight at the Hollyanna Hotel. The bellhop […]

Chuao potato chip chocolate bar, God’s protection from rocks, throwing a brick

November 8, 2016

ANOTHER RENT INCREASE FORM?! I had to leave a message with Barry to tell him about this, of course. Then I spent ten minutes looking for some Koka Singapore Fried noodles which don’t actually exist in my apartment. I’m losing it! 😛 Barry called me back at 2 with good timing; we set up an […]