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Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Jack Daniels is from Chile?! / Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt?! / How To Write Good!

April 14, 2019

Jack Daniels is from Chile?! Mrs. Weiner and Mrs. Butt taught at the Jewish Community Centre?! From Grammarly: How To Write Good, by Frank L. Visco! Caveat emptor. Carpe diem. O si villi, si ergo, fortibus is in ero. Et tu, brute. My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules: 1. […]

It’s pronounced ZED. Not ZEE. Zed. I AM CANADIAN! / THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUICIDE?

March 27, 2019

From Julie M. and Only in Canada: It’s pronounced ZED. Not ZEE. Zed. I am Canadian. 7/01/13! From my Endlessly Engrossing Bathroom Reader #22: THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SUICIDE?!

Leprechaun with green beer! / Airhorns in class! / Kiss me, I’m Highrish!

March 17, 2019

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played the Stars at 4 today… the game went into overtime and a shootout after Vancouver gave up ANOTHER 2-0 lead. At least the Canucks WON 3-2 this time! A leprechaun with green beer and four-leaf clovers: Happy St. Patrick’s Day! From FML: Today, I fell asleep in class. As a […]

Incorrect words and phrases! / Commas and consonants being sentenced! / Yamir?!

March 4, 2019

It’s NATIONAL GRAMMAR DAY today! From Kelly and Clarkson Hammond and May FANS: 10 Words and Phrases People Say Incorrectly! Supposedly, for all intents and purposes, regardless, I couldn’t care less, espresso, specifically, et cetera, I saw it, of utmost importance, and I need to lie down. From Pete, Punny Pete, and Grammarly Punography: Eight […]

Louisiana State Troopers not having balls! / Ashley Heavy Runner Loring?!

February 14, 2019

I discovered that Jason Lam and Sarah Quelch had unfriended me – oh well, the Awana and Palmer days were long ago! The Canucks played the Kings at 7:30 tonight… the game went to overtime (thanks to Gaudette!) plus a shootout. BOESER GOT THE GOAL TO WIN 4-3! I also showered today. From Kenny and […]

Taking the road less traveled, Tim Burr, Raymond Burr, the cat being fed already

January 15, 2019

I hung around Deb and Dylan’s today since the paint dude was coming by to finish up whatever he did yesterday, and he left at 10:30. SO EARLY! Managed to use up a lot of time by being on Discord and Reddit mobile, then ate my packed lunch of leftovers from last night: chicken wings […]

Fassad is cheered up, thanks to his banana! / Pigmask apologizing profusely!

November 17, 2018

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played Montreal at 4 today, and lost 3-2. I had to finally email Eric M. to find out that he’s getting better, but is leaning toward staying home tomorrow to maximize recovery, so he advised me to research alternative transportation options. Maybe Eric Ho can at least drive me home, haha! […]

Toilet paper and poop stud earrings! / Jimmy not communicating!

November 17, 2018

Of course Jimmy isn’t going to communicate when he refuses to recognize that I did apologize before he even asked for a “sincere” apology. Fuck off for now! From Melissa and Buzzfeed Canada: Toilet paper and poop stud earrings!

Brayla, A’Voyn, Calea, and Armani?! / This isn’t the time to use the Drago Fang!

November 7, 2018

From Julie: Brayla?! From Julie: A’Voyn?! Reminds me of AVOINE, the French word for OATMEAL! From Julie: Mike is obviously fine, but CALEA?! Bad spelling of Kaili or Kaylee! How about Armani?! THREE DRAGO FANGS! By inputting the MOTHER 3 Code cheat 0200429F:AF, you can modify Duster’s 16th item to be Flint’s Drago Fang. I […]

Cher says that you have to Fall Back! / Tazmily gerberas, Hinawa, sunflowers!

November 3, 2018

Fall Back! Set clocks back one hour before bed on Saturday night. From my ex-friend Tamara: Turn back time one hour this Sunday! Cher with your friends! Duster is at Lucas and Boney’s house at the start of Chapter 2. Tazmily gerberas are Hinawa’s favorite flowers, after sunflowers.