Archive for the ‘jokes’ Category

Don’t assume I’m angry because I’m on my period! / Raccoon! / Scumbag Uterus!

March 14, 2018

I discovered redrum today – ugh! Then I snapped at Jimmy, but that was after I told him about my discovery. He sent me a Happy Pi Day gif which actually made me smile, laugh, and cackle for about two minutes, which he later said was his intention. I appreciated it, for sure! Happy Pi […]

Don’t ever litter the litter! / Coffee and getting drunk!

February 8, 2018

From Legends of Localization: Alena, Cristo, and Brey go to the DRAGON WARRIOR IV town of Tempe. They get into the offering litter. “Don’t ever litter the litter.” “This is no time for puns, Shaman.” From Lost Pinup: Coffee keeps me busy until it’s time to get drunk.

Do not elect Donald Trump! / Gandalf at Applebee’s! / Jay-Z! Jay-Zzzzzzz!

February 7, 2018

Barry called me at 11:40 to see if I could reschedule the appointment on Wednesday the 21st to the next day (the 22nd – a Thursday) at 10:45 AM since he had to take someone to the doctor. I guess so… From Paul Saxberg and Pete: Dear America: You elected George H.W. Bush. We gave […]

Willem Dafoe! Willem Dafriend! Willem Dafuq! / Déja Moo / Bacon!

February 6, 2018

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played Florida at 4:30 today, and lost 3-1, partly thanks to an empty-net goal. From Julie: Willem Dafoe! Willem Dafriend! Willem Dafuq! From Exceptional Living: Déja Moo is the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before. Share this image of bacon for no reason!

Robert De Niro! Robert De Faro! / Peter Klaven?! / Pushing the envelope!

February 3, 2018

The Canucks played Tampa Bay at 7 tonight, and lost 4-2, thanks in part to a bullshit penalty shot call. From Julie: Robert De Niro! Robert De Faro! From Smosh: There’s a realtor named Peter Klaven?! Just like the I LOVE YOU, MAN character! From Pete and Punny Pete: No matter how much you push […]

Olivia Wilde! Olivia Civilized! / Diane Gooch?! / Typing and Internet arguments

January 25, 2018

The Canucks played Buffalo at 7 tonight, and lost 4-0. It was 2-0 until Markstrom poorly handled a goal, then 4-0 on an empty-net goal. DAMMIT! From Julie: Olivia Wilde! Olivia Civilized! From OLD FAITHFUL Bathroom Reader #30: Diane Gooch was a politician?! Never get into an argument with someone who types faster than you.

Keanu Reeves! Keanu Comes Back! / Bill Boner?! / Christmas Joye Abbott?!

January 25, 2018

Cuya says that his salmon jerky and Vancouver postcards arrived today. “Holy fuck, yes! Salmon jerky! Thank you! I’ll try some on stream soon, and I love the postcards! I will put the salmon eating on Youtube! Amazing mail day!” Eating Salmon Jerky Cuya’s black pepper salmon jerky! From Julie: Keanu Reeves! Keanu Comes Back! […]

Rainn Wilson! Sunn Wilson! / Zombies rolling eyes! / Covering up poop sounds!

January 20, 2018

From Julie: Rainn Wilson! Sunn Wilson! This zombie says, “Don’t roll your eyes at me!!” to another zombie. From We Love To Laugh: Bathroom tip! Discreetly cover up your poop sounds by continually shrieking at the top of your lungs.

Whoopee cushion filled with gravy, Waldrop sextuplets and twins, feeling used

January 15, 2018

From Gotta Lil Captain In Ya? and Pete: A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke. From Reddit and r/namenerds on December 14, 2017: The Waldrop sextuplets and twins from Alabama, plus an older brother! Saylor Briggs, Bridge Ryder, and Wales Tucker are the older siblings. […]

Holland Houdek?! / Arnold Schwarzenegger! Arnyoung Schwarzenegger! / Dave Obey?!

January 9, 2018

COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played Washington at 4 today, and lost 3-1, with a controversial goal which involved someone being crashed into the net. WHAT THE. I was also surprised that I am now a mod in Dave’s Discord server. Not sure how I didn’t notice that BRIGHT PINK / HOT PINK screen name color […]