Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Sep
15

9/15/19 is also a palindrome date! I looked up Uncle John’s Truth, Trivia, and the Pursuit of Factiness Bathroom Reader (Bathroom Readers Institute) online, and after getting an error message on the Indigo website search, I managed to find it on the site! Then I looked up the Richmond Chapters number, and also managed to put it on hold for me since I was going out to the mall later anyhow – YAY! After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 4:10 on a 407 to meet the family for dinner at the Richmond Centre White Spot. In addition to the Bathroom Reader, I also picked up Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! Beyond The Bizarre 16th Annual (Ripley’s Believe it Or Not) up since it was just $15. Yeah, it made my bag moderately heavier, but I could handle it. Since I was at Shoppers anyway to prove to Highspirits that a LOT of Nature Valley bars here (his favorite!) were CRUNCHY and you needed a bowl to eat them, I bought the three chewy kinds I could find. Bonus: They were ON SALE! Fruit and Nut, Dark Chocolate, and Mixed Berry!

Thank goodness the mall and White Spot had wi-fi since everyone was LATE! Harmony wondered what I was doing with my phone after she got back from buying clothes at The Children’s Place, so I assured her that I wasn’t saying anything about the kids on Discord, and she thanked me for that. Jon says that Jeremy spends a lot of time on Twitch, and figured I wasn’t really a gamer – true, but it passes the time for sure! The boys greeted me with what I took to be HAPPY BIRTHDAY – better than Mom’s greeting of “Do you know how to cancel a person who is dead?” Um, what?! Beckett just stared at me until he warmed up in the high chair – looking out the window, clapping, laughing, and slapping the table were all entertainment to him!

Discussed menu options, making my own decisions, Pirate Paks, various milkshakes, Monday / Tuesday plans (sure I’ll go help out on my own birthday!), Kwong Chow with Uncle Stanley, Brooke, parking upstairs, texting, the heaviness of my bag, Ayler communicating what happens when he gets fed up, angry faces, fries, my Cactus Club event, and Jon driving me home eventually. When I did get home at 7:30, I chilled. Deb says that she and Dylan will actually drop by for an hour on Saturday before the kids’ bedtime, so that’ll be nice! Now I definitely have to make a reservation later in the week…

Mom and Dad’s birthday gifts: Tostitos Rounds chips, No Name beef cup noodles, a birthday card with a cat coaster which is now between the fridge and my kitchen counter, Colgate 360 toothbrushes, Colgate Winterfresh Cavity Protection toothpaste, Colgate Cool Mint MaxFresh toothpaste, Burt’s Bees ginger-lime lip balm, a tiny 30 mL Purell hand sanitizer, Simple Skincare cleansing wipes, and a new White Cross Scrubs pale blue scrub jacket.

Chargrilled Salmon and Seafood trio for my 2019 family birthday dinner: Wild Pacific Sockeye salmon topped with shrimp, scallops, and clams in a creamy rose sauce with arugula and Campari tomatoes. Served over jasmine rice with broccolini.

Captain Morgan spiced pumpkin milkshake for my 2019 family birthday dinner!

A chewy dark chocolate Nature Valley trail mix granola bar with rich dark chocolate, peanuts, and raisins! Being me, I had to edit this to include an Oxford comma, as it should be!

A chewy Fruit and Nut Nature Valley trail mix granola bar with almonds, raisins, peanuts, and cranberries! Being me, I had to edit this to include an Oxford comma, as it should be!

A chewy Mixed Berry Nature Valley trail mix granola bar with cranberries, raspberries, strawberries, and blueberries! Being me, I had to edit this to include an Oxford comma, as it should be!

Colgate Winterfresh Cavity Protection toothpaste!

Colgate Cool Mint MaxFresh toothpaste!

White Cross Scrubs blue scrub jacket – YAY?

A tiny 30 mL Original Purell hand sanitizer!

Simple Skincare cleansing wipes!

No Name beef cup noodles!

Burt’s Bees ginger-lime lip balm!

Dove cucumber-green tea body wash!

Tim’s Original chips!

Tim’s Tamarind Salsa chips – thanks, Steph and Viv!

Tandoori Sizzler Doritos!

Ritter Sport Cocoa Mousse for Harmony!

Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate with Whole Hazelnuts for Harmony!

Pringles Original Short Stack chips!

Dill Pickle Pringles!

Pizza Pringles!

Sour Cream and Onion Pringles!

Salt and Vinegar Pringles!

Pringles Extreme: Screaming Dill Pickle!

Pringles Extreme: Kicking Cheddar chips!

Pringles Extreme: Blazing Buffalo Wings chips!

Original Sun Chips!

Garden Salsa Sun Chips!

Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips!

French Onion Sun Chips!

Cadbury pretzel and peanut butter chocolate bar!

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Sep
14

9/14/19 is also a palindrome date!

From Julie M. and Wish: Red dragon cosplay Halloween mask and wings for a masquerade!

From Julie: A colored purple dragon with a staff – YAY!

Sep
14

9/14/19 is also a palindrome date!

Shaky Sherpa?!

From Melissa and Buzzfeed Canada: Small poop emoji piñatas!

Albert Pujols, pronounced as POO HOLES?!

Sep
13

It’s the Mid-Autumn Festival 2019 and Friday the 13th today! 9/13/19 is also a palindrome date! Since Luke and Flaps were talking in Spanish in sober Discord, I decided to ask them to do Mom’s Spanish translation if she ever forwarded it to me! If it’s so urgent, she should have forwarded it earlier today, so I messaged Jon to see what was up with that. Turns out Mom took “forward us” to mean just Jon and Harmony. At least Luke did it in almost no time at all, for which I thanked him. Mom doesn’t need to know that a friend I met through the Internet did it, ha ha ha! I had Pete as backup, too.

Sureal Sparx?!

From Julie M., BetaSalmon, and The “Fuck U” Button: This is me wondering how big of an asshole I’m going to be today.

From Julie: SOUTH PARK movie! Here’s a Special Report on a Canadian and an outraged millennial, hahaha!

Sep
12

After LAUNDRY TIME (with the elevator STILL out of service…) and COFFEE TIME, I left at 12:15 for my Invisalign appointment, barely managing to get there on time thanks to a wheelchair JUST making me miss a Brighouse train at 12:35. (they’re definitely entitled to use the elevators and trains – I might have made it with the time it took to wheel the person in and out…) The technology simulator was pretty cool, at least.

I did see Dad, which is what I’d been expecting, so I briefly discussed it and he said no if the insurance didn’t cover it. I got brochures and the health angle, also expected. Once I finally got out of there at about 2, I saw Dad waiting downstairs. He unexpectedly gave me a ride home because it was really raining by then, and said a bunch of stuff about money and exactly why Mom thought finding the grave in Cuba was “urgent.” (Steph will go with her in October?!) At least I got home at 2:40 so I could finally eat!

My next dentist appointment is on Jan. 8 at 2 – I had to go home, check the actual Canucks schedule, and then call the office to change it from the 7th at 1. Then I decided to finally call Dr. Ruby’s office and found out that they can’t just do a six-month referral to the eye clinic over the phone, since I legally have to go to the office to set it up. UGH, FINE! I guess I know what I’m doing on the day before my birthday…

Sharky Laguana?!

From Julie: Raven?!

From Julie: Javante?! Makes me think of Java and coffee!

From Julie: Dre?! As in Dr. Dre?!

From Julie: Zaevion?!

From Julie: Takara?! She looks like one grumpy baby – maybe it’s her name more than being on TV!

From Julie: Brittani?! BAD SPELLING OF BRITTANY!

From Julie: This boy is named Paris?!

From Julie: Red?!

Sep
11

Today’s date is ALSO a palindrome: 9/11/19! At 2:05, I called Chrystal at work to ask where she’d gone on her cruise since I’d forgotten to ask last time: Copenhagen as a starting point sounds nice! Then just in case, I invited her to the Cactus Club dinner on the 21st, but I know she might still get lost, so instead we made plans for Friday the 27th at the Broadway London Drugs.

I showered today after seeing Rishu at Touchstone at 4:30 and going to RPM for dinner at Captain Wa. Surprisingly, Nick is in for the Cactus Club dinner – I’m glad that both Erics, Jeremy (NOT Jman, Term!), Darryl, Paulo, and Flaps are in, too! Got home at 7:20 on a 407; phew! Found out that some random person had sent me an abusive PM – it’s not MY fault you broke the DRAGON group rules and posted some sob story about your sister! I did talk to an admin as well, so HA! I’m glad she’s out of the group now, and that another member agreed with me that it was annoying!

Dinner from Captain Wa: “Spicy” cod, fried noodles, mushrooms, beef, cabbage, zucchini, plus bonus broccoli and a bonus chicken leg!

Congress Lepou and Bread of Life Faiupu?!

My ex-friend Chris W. sent this to me on May 25, 2014: The crocodile and buffalo turn to a bra and ask it to judge if the crocodile should be allowed to eat the buffalo. The bra, naturally, can’t answer because it can’t speak. This is in an Indonesian show for kids, by the way.

Sep
10

Precious Orji?!

From Julie: Ja’Wanah?! APOSTROPHE!

From Julie: Dujuan?!

From Julie: Tasha is obviously fine, but Lazenda?!

From Julie: Jaxon?!

From Nope and John’s True Crime Group: If you can name all eight of these serial killers, you need counselling.

Sep
09

After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 3:30 on a 401 to help with the kids. It wasn’t raining in Richmond, then was very little rain at Marine Drive, but it was like Noah’s Ark Flood when I got off at Mount Pleasant! Turns out Beckett was sleeping when I was almost soaked as I got to Jon’s place, but that was fine – I finished a book and started another one before he woke up. Jon plopped him on the mat and Beckett just stared at me for a while. Eventually, I gave him a toy and he played with it, doing “catch” for a while until Harmony came home with Hiero and Ayler from swimming. Beckett wanted to climb on me because he liked my San Francisco tie-dye shirt’s colors, Ayler told me about his origami and connect-the-dots books (and said he’d test me on the taped crane next week), and Hiero had tantrums and wanted to encourage Beckett to eat random stringy stuff he found on the mat OR to crawl out the balcony window. NO! Hiero also wanted me to read about trains to him, which is fine.

We had stew soup, nectarines, green beans, pasta, and minestrone for dinner. The kids were worried about Hurricane Dorian and wondered whether Los Angeles had hurricanes, then Hiero asked what a sleeping bag was. Harmony said that Mom had sent them five or six emails about “swatch the watch” – I have no idea what that means, but maybe it has something to do with the watch repair place at the Public Market, so I eventually gave her both watches in my wallet just to be safe. We called Dad because Ayler wanted to ask what time he’d be there tomorrow to take him to Brooke’s building. Then we also talked about exactly WHY Mom would think I know Spanish… not like I’ve retained it!

Later, Beckett chewed on my pants and was going to go for my socks, but I stopped that. He made himself laugh by pressing a lot of buttons on a light-up toy which had stars on it, and another one which had noisy letter and animal buttons on it. After trying the baby pop-up toy and laughing, he looked at me and clapped for himself, so of course I smiled and clapped along – cute! Ayler wanted to see if he was taller than I am, and I asked whether he would help me with stuff once he was taller – he said yes, so that’s good. Beckett babbled and wanted to grab a Classic Munsch book, so he had fun flipping pages. He also liked when I put him in my lap to “read” a 100 Words book, but was upset when I took him away from the window. Then he invaded the bathroom again when Ayler was taking a shower – I said that I didn’t see anything, and closed the door with Beckett in my other arm. Ayler told me that he wasn’t strong enough to hold him, but I did appreciate that he kept the baby from crawling out the window.

Some people are such dipshits to the bus driver! Tonight, some people told the driver to shut the fuck up and that he needed more training because he didn’t magically stop at 43rd and Main. Then there was the idiot with a huge bag full of pop cans who played the bus equivalent of Ding Dong Ditch. He made like he was going to get off at a few stops (thereby wasting everyone’s time), actually got off at one and THEN somehow beat the bus to the next stop, then was going to get off at the stop two stops from Marine Drive… then argued with the bus driver who wondered if he was going to get off the bus, saying “Did I get off the bus or just touch the door?” I swear, this guy made me miss the Brighouse train by two minutes, and it didn’t help that the next train stopped for another two minutes for no reason in the middle of the track near Aberdeen, so that made me miss the 9:26 407. I finally got home at 10. SIGH.

From Youtube: Jeanine Mullen, Waltfredo Davis-Mullen, Jaseri Mullen, and Jaion Mullen?! BAD SPELLING OF JANINE!

Sep
08

Discovered that the front door lock is stuck and recalcitrant again before Eric M. gave me a ride at 6:50 to Los Cuervos Taqueria around Kingsway and Fraser, so I wondered how long it would take me to get in later on. I had Jeremy’s 101 THINGS TO DO WITH BEER cookbook and birthday card, one bag of Indomie Goreng Chitato chips for Nathan’s dad since Chi-Tat To is very similar, Chinese Eric’s birthday card / Indomie Goreng Chitato chips x4 / iChoc Almond Orange, Classic, Super Nut, and White Chocolate Vanilla bars, and white Eric’s Western Family Swiss 72% dark chocolate bar / NEW Heidi Chocolate Intense / Ginger / Himalayan Salt chocolate bars and birthday card. Nathan did not show up, but I offloaded everything to everyone else.

Saw Acer and said hi to Quan and Gino, of course. Then I spontaneously invited Randal to my own birthday dinner. Chinese Eric was confusing as usual and said he just got my “birthday message” – uh, which one? Facebook birthday wish, a text message about a birthday, or something else? I think it’s best that we were just friends! He didn’t really explain it well at all. I got a bison skirt steak taco after seeing multiple people mention steak before I left, and then a ceviche tostada when that wasn’t quite enough food. First time trying ceviche, so that was quirky for sure! Jon asked if I could switch days this week – I told him that he should ask Harmony first before making executive decisions like that, and he said that it did come from her. Okay then, I can switch from Tuesday to Monday this week. I made sure my blog drafts were tagged correctly and everything as soon as I got home so I didn’t forget.

Jeremy and I talked about dragons and interesting topics like Greyhound not being there anymore for his Kelowna trips, and he said he could use that beer cookbook. After paying for the food, we all left at about the same time. I stopped at the door because I knew there was a step going down, and Chinese Eric wondered about that. Well, you don’t want me to find out where the step is by faceplanting… he agreed, but thought I’d had eye surgery for a reason. Yes, but that doesn’t mean my declining night vision has improved!

While Jon and Randal were trying to figure out whether they should go to 12 Kings, it started raining. I told them to arrive at a decision even if I’d be going home with white Eric either way since he has to get up at 7 AM tomorrow. (for some reason, Eric found it necessary to hang around while they made said decision…) We walked to Eric’s car and said the necessary farewells. Once I got home at 10, I was actually able to get in fairly quickly… phew! Then I discovered that Mom apparently thinks I still know Spanish because she wanted me to translate a long document for her. Nope, I’ve forgotten virtually all my Spanish 9! I just told her “nope, don’t know Spanish.” I just wanted to relax when I got home! Jon suggested Google Translate instead.

Sweatshirt or hoodie: Sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to come.

Ceviche tostada!

Bison skirt steak taco!

Sep
08

SHOWER TIME and COFFEE TIME!

Paisley Boney IV?!

From Julie and Only in Canada Memes: Leviticus 20:13 says, “If a man lies with another man, he should be stoned.” After legalizing gay marriage, Canada legalized marijuana as well. Now you are legally allowed to get stoned while having gay sex. Canada is the first country on Earth to be able to interpret this Bible verse correctly.