Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Jul
15

After COFFEE TIME, I went out at 2:40 on a 407 to help with the kids, telling Jon to text me if something happened. Got there at 3:45 and discussed poop hygiene, Beckett waking up just then, paper planes, bullet trains, origami (I was just folding along with them and not caring if I was any good), babbling, outer space, fast trains, Myles and the ER, Mom not noticing certain things like the cooking soup overflowing right in front of her and making a great puddle for Beckett to crawl in, Lizst, classical music, minuets, and Beckett chewing on things.

Also talked about Mount Pleasant Park, puzzles, how to properly steer Beckett towards stuff (gentle!), Ayler’s music school, bike camp, Seattle’s monorail, jumping down stairs, Beckett cruising to things aided by the couch, and reading baby books to Beckett. We had salmon (Omega-3 makes you smarter!), surfboard noodles, papaya, blueberries, apples, spinach, and soup for dinner while Beckett almost got yogurt into his eye from slapping the table when he was done or feeling excited. Sure, I can come by next Monday! Got home at 9:25 after walking from Brighouse since the next 401 and 407 would come by in 20 minutes.

From This Is True: Wilvince Kemmy Bazil?!

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Jul
14

Today is Bastille Day! I showered today – yup, I’ll be at Jon’s tomorrow at about 2:30 or so.

Happy Kampire?! (happy camper)

From Candy: Chicken rude and unreasonable?! I think they meant to translate “Jerk Chicken” on this menu…

From Julie M. and Only In Canada: “I really like bothering people outside Ontario and Quebec by posting pictures of bagged milk because the concept is so foreign to them and they go crazy.” I actually remember bagged milk from my early 80s childhood here in BC! You had to cut the corner of the bag after putting it in the milk jug!

Jul
13

It’s National French Fry Day today! A troll named Elizabeth Kuchta from the True Crime group just tried adding me after leaving stupid comments on my posts filled with hearts and failure logic. Her request is now “bilge water” and I’ve blocked her. I WIN!

Enlarged! Jack McIlhenny’s original brand tabasco sauce: It’s Like Love: You Always Want More, No Matter How Badly You Got Burned Last Time!

Jack McIlhenny’s original brand red tabasco sauce!

Jack McIlhenny’s green pepper tabasco sauce!

Jack McIlhenny’s Chipotle Pepper tabasco sauce!

Jack McIlhenny’s Habanero Pepper tabasco sauce!

From Julie: Hannibal Lecter says, “For a cannibal, a pregnant woman is like a Kinder surprise.”

Jul
12

After ASPIRIN TIME and COFFEE TIME, I went out at 2:10 on a 401 for my dentist appointment at 3 to get three fillings done. I decided to stop by T&T beforehand to see if I could find some Mala 4X Spicy Samyang noodles and Shin Ramyun BLACK noodles, and I managed to buy both items! After the dental procedure and talking about Invisalign technology on September 12, I bought Magnum Double Peanut Butter ice cream bars / Dr. Oetker wildberry cheesecake / Dr. Oetker strawberry cheesecake at Oakridge Safeway before stopping by the Oakridge library to kill that memory dragon of using Facebook Messenger to chat to Jimmy. I managed to get home at 4:45 thanks to the 407 pulling up right after I got to the Brighouse stop at 4:35, but a walker and slow people could have posed a real problem to my frozen things! Then I successfully crammed everything in my freezer, but I might have to eat that meat shepherd’s pie to make more room…

Magnum Double Peanut Butter ice cream bars: Peanut butter ice cream dipped in a chocolatey coating, peanut butter sauce, and milk chocolate!

From Julie M. and my ex-friend Helen S.: I’ll get over it. I just have to be dramatic first.

Harrison Treegoob?!

From TV Guide: French Stewart?!

Jul
12

From Melissa and Buzzfeed Canada: Pooping gumball iPhone case!

THE FARTING ANIMALS COLORING BOOK?! Alice sent this to me in May!

From Julie: Shittens?! Disposable mitten-shaped moist wipes?!

Jul
11

I took a shower, did some laundry, and had COFFEE TIME before Eric Ho texted me to cancel the BC Lions-Edmonton Eskimos hangout since he had to to stay at work till 7:30 or so. (he COULD say no, but maybe not!) “Are you coming? Yes or no.” “Yeah, I have to stay a bit later, so text you later since I have to take a raincheck on the hangout.” Fine, I’ll just use my $10 off coupon by myself with no heavy things! I went to London Drugs first at 3:10 to get four DEFINITE big reusable bags (I only had four small ones?!), a dark green MARTEX bath towel, a shopping cart with a cooler bag ($54.99 to $24.99 SALE!), and two more London Naturals foam scour sponges.

Luckily, I was able to sort of tuck the cart under my arm and then waited for the bus home – got there at 4:05 on a 401. Later, I went to Price Smart with my $10 coupon at 5:35 on a 401. I got Halo Top birthday cake ice cream, NEW Sapporo Ichiban Tonkotsu ramen noodles, NEW Maynards Fuzzy Peach popsicles, NEW Maynards Swedish Berry popsicles, NEW Magnum white ice cream bars, NEW Magnum Double Cookies and Cream ice cream bars, NEW Magnum double cherry truffle ice cream bars, NEW Magnum Infinity Chocolate ice cream bars, NEW Magnum double raspberry ice cream bars, NEW Magnum strawberries and cream ice cream bars, BIG on-sale Lysol lemon wipes, Maggi curry noodles, and Olay cooling white strawberry and mint bar soap.

Cloverleaf baby clams!

Ocean’s baby clams!

Western Family whole baby clams!

Halo Top birthday cake ice cream!

Olay Cooling White Strawberry and Mint body wash!

Olay Cooling White Strawberry and Mint bar soap!

Durian cream wafers by Garden!

Spring Onion Pop Pan crackers by Garden!

Curry Pop Pan crackers by Garden!

Gogo rice amaranth penne!

Gogo rice quinoa fusilli – yay!

Gia five-grain multigrain rice with quinoa!

Dainty beef rice in a can?! BANNED FROM MY APARTMENT.

Twizzler red licorice Nibs!

Dole peanut butter banana bites!

Quaker white cheddar rice cakes, thanks to Quan and Gino putting the idea in my head one day!

Quaker buttered popcorn rice cakes, thanks to Quan and Gino putting the idea in my head one day!

Genesis Today pomegranate and berries juice with resveratrol: A blend of grape, pear, apple, black cherry, pomegranate, blueberry, and cranberry! Supports cardiovascular health, youthful appearance, and antioxidant levels.

Genesis Today goji berry juice: A blend of apple, carrot, pineapple, grape, goji, and pear! Supports positive moods, eye health, and endurance.

Nature’s Path Mesa Sunrise cereal: A delicious blend of corn, flax, buckwheat, quinoa, and amaranth!

Nature’s Path crunchy Vanilla Sunrise cereal: A delicious medley of corn, rice, quinoa, flax, buckwheat, and amaranth!

Nature’s Path Golden Turmeric Cereal: A delicious blend of coconut, turmeric, cinnamon, and honey. Makes golden milk!

Maggi curry noodles!

Doctor Kracker Klassic 3-Seed flatbread or crispbread: sunflower seeds, flaxseed, and sesame seeds! Now out of business.

Doctor Kracker Klassic pumpkin seed cheddar flatbread or crispbread! Now out of business.

Kellogg’s cheddar cracker chips!

London Drugs large reusable bag!

London Drugs small reusable bag!

London Drugs shopping cart with cooler! $35 off the regular price of $55!

Samyang 4X Spicy Fire Noodles – Mala!

Samyang Fire Noodles – regular!

Melona ice bars: Banana!

Melona ice bars: Honeydew Melon!

80 Lysol lemon wipes!

Magnum Double Cherry Truffle ice cream bars: Cherry ice cream with a dark chocolate ganache swirl dipped in a chocolatey coating, cherry sauce, and milk chocolate!

Magnum Infinity Chocolate ice cream bars: Dark chocolate ice cream with a chocolate swirl dipped in dark chocolate and cocoa bean nibs!

Magnum Double Raspberry ice cream bars: Raspberry ice cream dipped in a chocolatey coating, raspberry sauce, and milk chocolate!

Magnum Strawberries and Cream ice cream bars: Strawberry ice cream with a strawberry swirl with other natural flavor dipped in white chocolate!

Magnum White ice cream bars: Vanilla bean ice cream dipped in white chocolate!

Magnum Double Cookies and Cream ice cream bars: Cookies and cream ice cream dipped in a chocolatey coating, chocolate cookie sauce, and milk chocolate with cookie pieces!

Maynards Fuzzy Peach popsicles!

Maynards Swedish Berries popsicles!

Sapporo Ichiban Tonkotsu ramen noodles!

Jul
10

After COFFEE TIME, I had to go out at 11:20 to meet Mom and Dad for my new reading glasses and some lunch. Mom wondered why I didn’t turn my cellphone on – why not save battery life if I don’t NEED it on all day? She wasn’t impressed when I told her that, but whatever! At home, I just use it to briefly check things like redundant Youtube notifications / Facebook messages and texts. When I’m out and about, it’s a different story!

We had stew beef noodles, hot and sour soup, long Chinese dumplings (wo-teep), and siu long bao (soup dumplings) for lunch at Dinesty. Dad told me that she was slowing down, so I had to look after her – if I feel like it, maybe. Then we went to the nearby herbalist (whom she asked for dollar store intel when I’d already told her about Dollarama and Dollar Tree) – where I saw testicles apparently for sale – and Staples where Mom got a bunch of clearance stuff. No, I didn’t want any of that even if she wanted to buy it for herself.

Mom also wanted to pay for my one pack of 12 blue Z-Grip Pens (January 17, 2019- the last one on the shelf) which I was going to pay for myself at the cash register. Then she played the martyr about it when they weren’t the cheap kind (“why don’t you get some other kind…”), but eventually paid for them. The next stop was the Dollarama at Lansdowne, where Mom paid for one pair of reading glasses, then stopped by the Smart n’Save for some crunchy Wah Yuen BBQ fried dough. Mom also almost killed herself by crossing the street too slowly at Lansdowne Mall with oncoming traffic – shades of Grandma! Later, we got one more pair of reading glasses at Dollar Tree before they finally dropped me off at home at 1:10 prior to helping Ayler and Hiero with swimming lessons.

Random stuff from Mom and Dad: two pairs of dollar store reading glasses (2.50 and 2.75 – NEEDED: 3.00), a small pack of Cadbury mini-eggs from the dollar store, a 12-pack of Z-Grip pens which I was going to pay for myself since we were at Staples anyway, Every Living Thing by James Herriot, a thin beige scarf, an ORGANICS FOR LIFE tote bag, a blue neck scarf, a thin white scarf, a knitted white hat which looks like a doily, a knitted black and brown hat, a black buttoned SEQUENCE coat, and a thin sky blue zippered Tabi vest.

Pan-fried pork potstickers or wo-teep! Long Chinese dumplings!

Wah Yuen BBQ fried dough!

Touch toothpicks – 1000 regular ones! Mike almost stole them from me by keeping them at his mom’s place in Point Grey because she supposedly needed them for a party appetizer in 2014! Thank goodness I took them back when we were there next time… phew!

Jul
09

Managed to get removal for hearing at the nearby medical clinic at 10 AM – I knew something was wrong if I couldn’t hear the new microwave beep when it finished! I got home at 10:30 after seeing Dr. Chong, which isn’t too bad.

From Reddit on December 28, 2018: No, DontEatMyHotDog, we do NOT put someone’s toothpaste on their toothbrush FOR them unless they physically can’t do it. I’m sure he can do it himself, and it only saves five seconds! Also, nobody needs the condescending “exactly” at the end!

Jul
08

Cash Kinghorn?!

From People Who Always Have To Spell Their Names For Other People: Vyvyan Baxter?! I’d pronounce that as VIVIAN, not VIE-ANN! Too much Y…

Jul
07

After COFFEE TIME, I had to go out at 4:10 on a 407 for a Kwong Chow dinner. Since I was out anyway, I bought three pairs of London Naturals foam scour sponges, a Snapple half and half iced tea / lemonade for aspirin purposes, and a bag of 20 KitKat chocolate mini-bars for National Chocolate Day for Ayler and Hiero at London Drugs. We had fish congee, spicy tofu triangles, a different kind of Chinese fish, pork intestines with pickled vegetables, green beans with spicy beef, half a chicken, and tomato fried rice with red sauce / white sauce / shrimp / pork for dinner. Ayler tried his first pork intestine since he was curious about them, and chewed through half of it before deciding he didn’t like them that much. Hiero didn’t want to try one at all.

Beckett was in a high chair and screaming happily. He was being shielded from the “evil” TV, and the family made care plans for this week. The boys seemed to like their Seattle trip, even if one of them dumped a plastic dinosaur down the toilet this morning at the AirBnB! They told us about the monorail, the water table at the Children’s Museum, the chocolate shop, the $25 per person baseball game with hot dogs, Pike Place Market being really crowded, and more. Seemed like a fun trip for sure! The kids wanted to race on our way to their house, but that wasn’t a good idea right after dinner! I apparently have to wait for the lards’ call on Wednesday morning – no melatonin the night before, PLUS coffee and the phone on then, before going to Aberdeen and Parker Place!

I finally got home at 8:05 on a 401, and no, I did NOT want to be dropped off at 49th instead of 41st simply because it was easier for Mom. Even Dad was annoyed! Mom also wants to NOT pay for three pairs of reading glasses instead of “just two since it would be too expensive” – if she balks at that, I’m sure she’s not going to like the cost of any proposed Invisalign! Sorry, Sean…

Random stuff from Mom and Dad, inside a Safeway bag: a tiny bottle of Mayanik Habanero Pepper Sauces Habanero Chile Verde sauce, Red Rose Tea in Orange Pekoe flavor x5 teabags, plus three random pairs of thin socks. Green-blue, blue and white, plus white and blue!

20 mini Kit-Kat bars!

Mayanik Habanero Chile Verde sauce!

Red Rose Tea in Orange Pekoe flavor!

Kermit Sprinkles?!