Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Jan
17

emf, unbelievable, picture posts, picturing_food, hockey games, scores, 1-0, shutouts, vancouver, canucks, nashville, predators, wins, winning, times, 7, showering, alberta, pete murray, meghann, megan, turning around, alirio ramirez, status, commenting, facebook, prime rib, ribs, meat, meats, beef, price, prices, pricing, pricing their way out of my budget, price tags, january, dates, expiry dates, expiry, langley, bc, postal codes, percentages, cuts, roasts, fidela, weight, batteries, total, totals, the news, watching tv, tv, julie s., julie709, stephanie, may, daisy mae, luke skywalker, dix, richard nixon, moon, moons, shards of glass, shards of ice, wow, world of warcraft, characters, cartoon, cartoons, nintendo, crazy types of endorsements, endorsements, browser, white house, the white house, blocks, black people, presidents, bows, super mario, super mario bros, pennsylvania, ocean, city, cities, maryland, clear, weather, temperature, temperatures, 5, hey, channels, snes, 9, x, hacks, earth, bound, mother, universe, screenshots, gaming, video games, playing videogames, videogames, playing video games, cognitive skills, very dissonant, between the breasts, two, time, times, giant, giants, space, pickle, pickles, ms paint, ms paint pictures, ms paint renderings of same, alina, aliens, saturn, colon, gotta love that guy, i want that guy, normally liking that guy, shoot that guy, oingo boingo, military general, man, men, how bizarre, bollocks, scarborough, silver, ufo crash site nearby, shooting the messenger, silver, sidekick, space, lar, rice, maurice_beast, patricia, escape, escapes, stars, man, men, escapees, dungeon, magic, ants, personal, pink, green, mother, 1, beginnings, zero, door, doors, portals, short posts, 2017, characters, dungeons, facebook, food, games, hockey, julie, mario, money, news, parties, photos, pictures, shopping, stickers, sports, tv shows, water, maxed-out tags limit,

President Obama endorsing Bowser / Commander Niiue’s personal Magicant

CANUCKS ICON

I commented on Meghan’s status, and Alirio R. showed up! The Canucks played Nashville at 7 tonight, and won 1-0!

Julie S. was watching the news on TV once. President Obama endorses Bowser?!

Hey, here’s President Obama endorsing Bowser!

Prime rib beef costs $93.64 at Save-On Foods?!

The COGNITIVE DISSONANCE party (Alinivar / Colonel Saturn / Larice / Commander Niiue) has finally made it to Niiue’s personal Magicant. This reminds me a LOT of MOTHER 1…

Jan
16

IT’S APPRECIATE A DRAGON DAY!

PRODUCT WARNING: No more Katsuo Udon cup noodles! They make me feel very weird and almost sick just now! These noodles made me feel weird in the head, and almost made me feel like I had to vomit. I had to lie down for a while before the weird feeling went away. I’m not having them anymore. (the expiry date is August 2017…)

From Julie: A cute dragon spork and a cute dragon spoon!

Colonel Saturn makes it to his own personal Magicant in COGNITIVE DISSONANCE, which doesn’t officially start until there’s an earthquake!

Colonel Saturn comes across this in his personal Magicant in COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: “This place is irrelevant to you, so you can’t get in.”

Here’s a two-cent sale on Havarti cheese from the Save-On Foods Facebook page!

Jan
15

The Canucks played New Jersey at 4 today; the game went to overtime, and the Devils won 2-1.

From Julie: Monster slippers!

On the icy and snowy planet of Pluto, the COGNITIVE DISSONANCE party (Alinivar / Colonel Saturn / Larice / Zarbol) takes this hot-air balloon to play the Mountain Mini-Game so they can collect Snow Spirits and trade those in for various prizes.

After the COGNITIVE DISSONANCE party completes the main party members’ Magicants, you get treated to a slowly-filling Bowfest show by the band Nowhere Train!

Jan
14

From Rob: Please, God, cure my hangover and I promise I will never drink again. Also, please forgive me in advance for lying about never drinking again.

From Julie and THE ADDAMS FAMILY: “This is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look like everybody else.” says Wednesday Addams.

The COGNITIVE DISSONANCE party (Alinivar / Colonel Saturn / Larice / Zarbol) stays overnight at the Thunderton Hotel in their Earth disguises in Chapter 7, after the Pigsnout Society is no longer controlling the town. The next day’s newspaper headline: “Aliens among us! Real proof of today’s extraterrestrial threat!” The bellhop’s reaction: “Does anyone still believe this stuff?”

Then the COGNITIVE DISSONANCE party attempts to call the apartment base from the Thunderton Hotel. “Beep-beep-beeeeep… The number you have dialed has been flattened by ten bulldozers. Please hang up and try again.”

Jan
13

After having some tea, I went to visit Vanessa at the hospital at 5:30 after her surgery, and brought an assortment of Lindt chocolates plus the McCormick rainbow bells. We talked about her pain medication / my birth control and side effects, morphine, her gay friend Patrick wanting to go to Atlantis, teratomas, our parents being inappropriate / abusive, Jason taking a week off work / not getting enough sleep last night, her mom, her mother-in-law proofreading things for her, her being proud of me for seeking help, durian, Theo the dog, Julia, health issues, OUR DAILY BREAD, my being more adventurous than her when it comes to eating (like haggis and tripe), that Foodie Guy on Youtube, Steph and Lisa moving to Hamilton, and road trips. Also discussed the Olive Garden, her Jello and juice, dim sum, not eating out much, what there might be to do in Hamilton / Montreal / Quebec / Niagara Falls, the guy and his girlfriend Anna who got eaten alive by a bear (Timothy Treadwell), her books (Stephen King’s THE GUNSLINGER / Bill Bryson on the Appalachian Trail: A WALK IN THE WOODS), DEXTER, SHERLOCK, her strata neighbors, my “museum of noodles,” hyphenation of last names, a paranoid landlady, ex-friends, and her being willing to help me and be an emergency contact for me in general. She thanked me for keeping her same, and said we should hang out when she’s here for a follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks. Sounds good to me!

Visiting Vanessa in hospital to keep her sane!

Here’s the WARRIOR DRAGON ending poem!

Every day is someone’s night
Each delight is other’s plight
Darkness springs from every light
Unless we summon wit and might
And fight for what is right.

This is your starting screen in DRAGOON X OMEGA. Your character is the girl in orange.

From Julie S. and Scary and Creepy Facts: I’m fascinated by really creepy shit.

Jan
13

Jason sent me a Facebook message from Vanessa’s account, saying that she was still in the recovery room. That definitely makes sense!

From Reddit: This skeleton with a flaming torch on a horse says, “OUTTA MY WAY… I GOTTA POOP!”

From Julie S. and Classical Art Memes: “Is it just me who does…” “Yes. In a world full of billions of people, it is just you who does the thing.” Every time I see a post (title) starting out with “does anyone else __?” on Reddit, I have to downvote it out of principle. The odds are high that you do not have an extraordinarily rare disease or condition. I am not subscribed (nor do I look at) r/dae for a reason. My sarcasm would be way too much for them to handle! (“No, you’re the ONLY one in the ENTIRE FUCKING HISTORY OF THE WORLD who ___”)

From MOJO in the Morning: Elementary kids have iPhones. When I was a kid, I put glue on my hands just so I could peel it off when it dried.

Jan
12

It was time for MORE COFFEE! The Canucks played Philadelphia at 4 today; the game went to overtime and a shootout, which the Flyers won 5-4.

After defeating Nemesis, Jon Otis and Sarah Buffaloe stay overnight at the Arvada Roach Motel. The next day’s news headline in the ARVADA SENTINEL: “Local nerd Jon Otis is declared sexiest man alive.”

After defeating Nemesis, Jon Otis and Sarah Buffaloe stay overnight at the Golden Hotel. The next day’s news headline in the GOLDEN TRANSCRIPT: “Local heroine Sarah Buffaloe back from saving Earth.”

After defeating Nemesis, Jon Otis and Sarah Buffaloe stay overnight at the Lakewood Super 8 Motel. The next day’s news headline in the LAKEWOOD SENTINEL: “Jon and friends made honorary citizens!”

After defeating Nemesis, Jon Otis and Sarah Buffaloe stay overnight at the Denver HinesCo Hotel. The next day’s news headline in the DENVER POST: “Denver to have another day.”

Jan
12

Today, it was time to try the passport office thing again at 9 AM with Mom and Dad, who are BOTH FUCKING ABUSIVE. COFFEE WAS NEEDED! Mom tried verifying a phone call with an immediate email – YOU DON’T DO THAT BECAUSE IT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL RUSHED FOR NO REASON! Apparently, the Morrills (meaning Eric :P) had a Christmas gift for me (Starbucks Ugly Holiday Sweater gingerbread man cookies), which I at least genuinely appreciated. I definitely did not want to eat lunch with my parents at ALL, so it was fine if they dropped me off at home before running errands at Richmond Centre. Mom and Dad tried telling me obvious things like looking at the number board to see when it was my turn (that’s why they have audio cues as well…), turning my answering machine on (that’s how I don’t get annoyed by random calls!), how I should make a dentist appointment (I do that already…), how to act in front of the passport agents (PROJECTION!), and how there were only six weeks left to see Fraser. Dad tried acting friendly, but I didn’t like that. At least I was home by 10:50! Then I sent a “thanks” email to Eric for the cookies, and he said that things got busy over the holidays – that’s fine and understandable! Now it’s time for another shower! NO PUTTING AN ARM AROUND ME!

Random stuff from Mom and Dad: a “one size fits all” fishing hat with a zipper, Suzaku premium roasted seaweed which expires on March 21, a 2017 international wildlife calendar from Uncle Andrew’s dentist office, McCormick’s rainbow bells from Dollarama, 60 Russell Stover chocolate “Iddy Biddy Santas,” eight Aji Norimaki brown rice crackers with seaweed (which expired last October 27, so I guess I’m eating them for lunch…), one natural herb cough drop, one Bye Polar candy, $5, and black mittens with wool trim.

Starbucks Ugly Holiday Sweater gingerbread man cookies from Eric!

Suzaku premium roasted seaweed from my parents!

Arn, Ness, Dog, and Sherm have made it to the Moonside area of ARN’S WINTER QUEST. They meet this guy outside the hotel and hospital buildings. “Man! I really need to go to the bathroom, but I have no PP!” HAHAHA!

Arn, Ness, Dog, and Sherm go into the hospital building in ARN’S WINTER QUEST. There’s nothing except this cat, which is… a present?! Arn opened the present. There is a Cat inside! Arn takes it.

Jan
11

From Julie: When you got a band performance at 8, but got to kill some people at 9.

Larice comes across this teddy bear in his own personal Magicant in COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. “It’s a stuffed bear. it doesn’t move, talk, or absorb damage.”

Larice comes across this Mr. Saturn in his own personal Magicant in COGNITIVE DISSONANCE. “You with Giegue ding. Stop pretend.”

From Sharon Weshler: Where should you post your status? Here’s a flow chart: Google Plus, Foursquare, DON’T POST IT, LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter!

Jan
11

PRODUCT WARNINGS: I shouldn’t buy La Molisana pasta sauce because I can’t even open the lids with the jar opener! Similarly, I shouldn’t buy Welch’s prune juice because I can’t open the lid without the help of the jar opener!

THE ART OF THE FART! (by Stephen Bryant)

From Reddit in September 2016: Hendrix Osiris Merlin Nash?!

From Ariel: Doctor Doom and Spiderman! Doctor Doom: “You will know when Doom deigns to attack you. No, all I did was expertly defend myself from a pathetic series of clumsy attacks.” Spiderman: “What about the exploding wall and all that ‘Behold the grim visage of DOOOOM’?! And, and…. YOU BLEW UP A WALL!” Doctor Doom: “Yes? That is how Doom enters a room. How do YOU do it?” Spiderman: “Uh, through the DOOR? And sometimes the window, but that doesn’t count…” Doctor Doom: “The DOOR? Like a PEASANT?!”