Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Aug
22

From Tyler A. and the Chive: BJ Queen Enterprises?!

From Tyler A. and the Chive: Vanessa Tobaccojuice?!

From Tyler A. and the Chive: Kim Kashkashian?! Definitely way too close to Kim Kardashian!

From Tyler A. and the Chive: B. Ruth Boring?!

Aug
22

I had a dream where Jimmy was driving me and Tommy in a van somewhere, and Jimmy kept saying that he would choose Tommy over me, even as he dropped him off at a house somewhere before going into Richmond (where we both lived for whatever reason) and hanging out with me at a crowded conference. Okay then, subconscious! I’m probably going to make a new Facebook music group called COME AS YOU ARE, too. Tommy would automatically be blacklisted because of my rule of not typing like a moron. Punctuation is important! Jimmy says he wouldn’t choose him over me, so we’ll see.


“Your Intellect Eclipses Your Isolation”


You are constantly seeking to know more about the world. Understanding is always your key to happiness.
You may not be a naturally social person, but you connect with others freely when shared interest, knowledge, and passions are involved.

You are curious about the world and new ideas. You are open to changing your mind, and are constantly collecting information.
You are not quick to judge someone, even if you think you disagree. You seek to learn more instead.

Not sure about the last two sentences, especially right now at my stage of life! I can be quite comfortable judging people, especially if they act defensive / manipulative / supercilious / toxic! Trust me, I had to deal with at least one of those people last week! No, thanks! I have no time for that!

Aug
21

After MORE COFFEE TIME, I left for Jon and Harmony’s at 2. I stopped by the Kam Do Bakery to get a BBQ pork bun to eat on the train, then got to the house at 2:45 or so, right on time. I was delayed a couple of minutes by some neighbor lady with a dog who recognized me from Mom’s Facebook photos. I didn’t really mind talking to her, though. At least the door was open, probably because it was pretty hot outside! When Jon asked, I requested some water. The kids were eating some snacks when I got there: Hiero offered me his peach pit (no thanks!) and Ayler told me that they didn’t have any more BBQ pork buns. That’s fine, as I’d just eaten one! Then came the usual questions about how long ago and what time I’d eaten it, along with Ayler reciting all the Canada Line stations up to Olympic Village. He’s getting smart!

While Jon’s music student Justin was over, the kids were pretty loud, but made “gas stations” out of bristle blocks (“Gas gas gas!”), offered me grapes from their plate (sure!), made long trains, and put some tiny playing cards in numerical order. Apparently, they got them from the hospital (“not blood draws – a vaccine!”) a couple weeks ago. At least they’re not being taught how to gamble yet! Ayler also wanted me to stay for dinner, so I said I’d think about it. Hiero pointed out some holes in my socks – I swear I just bought them, but who knows? I’ll just have to get some more later! Ayler asked me whether Jon would have two more music students; I had no idea! Hiero wanted me to read a book about 100 vehicles to him – sure, why not? It’s better than fighting with your brother over toy trains and train tracks!

When Justin left, they “gave” him some train tracks, which he of course put back when they weren’t looking. Easy to do! When the kids weren’t there, I put back the noisy xylophone and the hammer to go with it, but Ayler was okay with catching the balls with his hand. Jon noticed and thanked me, then a woman came over for a piano lesson. Harmony got home and also invited me to stay for dinner, which was ratatouille / zucchini / corn on the cob. Harmony got home and also invited me to stay for dinner, which was ratatouille / zucchini / corn on the cob. She said that she was thinking about taking the kids to the Family Centre, the park, and then to physio on Wednesday, so my coming over around 12:30 would be good. No time for anything but mushroom soup, then!

Ayler said that we could eat the zucchini seeds, and I offered an apologetic “sorry” to Jon and that other student when Hiero squealed at seeing the corn on the cob. “Corn excitement over here!” Then Ayler said that I could stay for “the ice cream” – cute! Ayler thought that Randal would come over – who knows? He did, though. Hiero told me that Uncle Randal was there, so I asked how he knew. Apparently, he heard Randal’s voice. Randal was indeed over for music lessons, and he said hi to me. To be polite, I offered him a frosty Hello back. Whatever, I don’t care what the kids think. Then Ayler wondered if he’d eaten yet and whether he’d eat later. I said he might eat later if he hadn’t already. Ayler asked why he was reading, so I said that he was probably doing it because he liked reading just like me. That’s fine for me, but that’s all I’m willing to concede.

Harmony brought out one Easter egg each for the kids (which she’d apparently forgotten about for some time), and Ayler asked why I wasn’t having any. I had some chocolate at home already, I told him. Harmony said that I could go after dinner, which was fine by me. I actually had to put down my dinner bowl because Ayler requested a hug before I left, which is totally fine. Ayler also wanted me to stay overnight, so I asked him where I’d sleep. “Share Daddy’s pillow!” was the answer I got. I told Harmony that she might want to explain why I could NOT sleep in the same bed as Jon, then left after saying bye to everyone except Randal. If the kids notice and say something, whatever. At 7:15, I was home on a 407, and fielded an email from ERIC HO saying that he’d even had to work on his birthday last week! Poor guy! He wants to catch a Lions game, but I looked at the schedule and the only near ones are in September! Not doable if he wants to hang out as August winds down!

From Julie S. and BFUK: I have 20 unread books at home, but I really, really need to buy this one. That’s the story of a book lover!

From the r/hockey Discord server: Nick Bonino has an Italian background, so he’s enjoying some homecooked spaghetti right out of the Stanley Cup!

Aug
21

I woke up at 5:45 AM, so it was definitely COFFEE TIME! Then it was ECLIPSE MUSIC with Bonnie Tyler’s TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE HEART! I also watched a live eclipse video on Facebook.

From Facebook: Aleah Beckerle?!

After defeating all the paintings at Owzer’s Mansion in Jidoor, the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party (Edgar / Sabin / Celes / Relm) goes to visit the crazy old man. Aged Man: “Oh, hello again! Yep, you were tops!” Sabin: “That’s why we…”

Aged Man: “Quick! Fix that chair! Then you can use it to reach the roof.” Then the party leaves the house.

Outside the crazy old man’s house, Sabin says: “You don’t suppose… Can this be Gau’s father?”

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “The repairman, at last!”

Sabin to the Aged Man: “Uh, no. I was wondering if you knew anything about Emperor Gestahl’s map…” For the record, this “map” is never mentioned outside of this cutscene, and neither is there ANY information about why our characters apparently decide this guy should know something about Gestahl’s possessions, and he actually does. It’s just weird. Time to press on!

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “Map…?! Everyone’s asking about that map!”

Sabin to the Aged Man: “Pardon?!”

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “Little while ago, some guy wearin’ a bandana asked for the map. So I told him!”

Sabin to the Aged Man: “W… where is it?”

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “It’s where the mountains form a star-shape!”

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “You should have just come out and asked me. No need to be shy!”

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “Eh? Say, is everything fixed yet?” Then the party leaves the house and comes back in.

Aged Man to the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS party: “Got it?! Where the mountains form the shape of a star!”

Aug
20

I sent Jon a Facebook message this morning after COFFEE TIME to wonder what time I should drop by tomorrow, and 2:45 sounds good to me!

Jimmy Hoffa’s full name was James Riddle Hoffa?!

From Julie: King of Ink Land Body Art The Extreme Ink-Ite?!

Aug
19

From Not Always Working: Haaris Aytishaam Mahmood Qureshi?!

From Not Always Right: Anatacia Howell?! Shouldn’t it be spelled Anastasia?

From Not Always Working: Atticus Couger?!

From Not Always Right: Brian Gnoyb?! I think that last name is cute since it reminds me of gnomes!

Aug
18

“You Are a Heath Blizzard”


You are a unique person who does your own thing in life. You are always inspired and thinking up new plans.
You can be a bit of a geek, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. You like delving deep into a subject.

You tend to have some unusual preferences, but it’s only because you take in so much of the world. You sample as much as you can.
You crave the comfort of the things and people you like best. However, you are always open to trying something new for a change.

Aug
18

Jon sent me a Facebook message at 9:40 about possibly helping with the kids on Monday afternoon, and mentioned that he’d let Harmony arrange Wednesday with me. Sure, why not? That reminded me to call Barry AGAIN at 11:45 to see if I could change our appointment time since that’s also on Wednesday. This time, I left a message! He called me back shortly after, saying that he’d been going to call me because he also wanted to change the appointment time since he’ll be in Vancouver for longer than he thought. YAY FOR GOOD TIMING! Thursday afternoon at 12:30 works for me!

From Not Always Right: Kai Drawwater?! Draw Water?! Now I want fish and chips, too…

From Not Always Right: Katrin Schirmir?! The last name is rhymy, and the first name looks incomplete. It should really be Katrina! She also claims to be an introvert (but uses it in the “social anxiety” way), claims to be part of the LGBT spectrum (yet is married to a man), and always repeats people’s jokes back to them when she isn’t commenting 20 times on one story alone…

From Not Always Working: Kristen Parlee? Parlee as in “parley” spelled correctly, as in TALKING?!

From Not Always Working: Keera Ann Fox?!

From Not Always Working: Keesha Turner?! I bet she’s black…

Aug
17

Last night, Tommy was being pretty annoying with his continuous Facebook messages, so I gave him one-word answers till he apparently got the hint. Then he dragged me into a Facebook group chat with Helen and Jimmy at 10:15 PM to talk about Jen and defend her behavior. We weren’t too impressed with his excuses and “staying neutral” for a manipulative and defensive and condescending “friend,” to say the least! Then I was not happy when Tommy messaged me earlier today by saying that he’d allow me my space, but I could talk anytime I was willing to. What?! I later sent that screenshot to Helen and Jimmy in our own group chat. No, I am not rude for setting boundaries and telling him like it is. Jimmy apparently read everything at work today, at least.

Tommy is stupid!

My new highest-voted Disqus comment, on August 12, 2017 on Not Always Working: Never dumb yourself down for idiots whom you want to defenestrate! 46 points!

Aug
17

From Ask Ideas: Body, why didn’t you tell me that this fart was going to be liquid?!

From Ask Ideas: Ted Cruz is thinking, “When you think you farted, but it’s more than you bargained for…”

From Ask Ideas: Will Farrell in ELF is thinking, “When you fart, but it wasn’t a fart…”