Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Dec
17

From Julie: Nobody liked caroling with Yoda! “A merry Christmas we wish you… a merry Christmas we wish you…”

From Eve and Buzzfeed Canada: If the same person holds two consecutive doors for you, is it common courtesy to say “thank you” both times? This is the most Canadian discussion I’ve ever seen on the Internet.

From Reddit: A Canucks Nativity scene! Left to right: Hank, Danny, Edler, Linden, Benning, One true saviour in Brock Boeser, Bo Horvat!

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Dec
16

Today’s agenda: THE NHL 100TH ANNIVERSARY WINTER CLASSIC! Eric Ho came over early at 1:30 so I could give him the parking pass / parking permit. While he was busy with that, I hid most of my bottled water in my room – didn’t stop him from drinking three of them! I was going to buy more bottled water on Wednesday anyhow, but WOW. Then I could FINALLY give Eric his 37 index cards in a Ziploc bag, Cadbury’s dark milk chocolate bar, Terry’s Chocolate Orange, Ragusa Noir chocolate bar, big Jersey Milk chocolate bar, birthday card, and Christmas card… he definitely thanked me for all of that. He offered to get me food since he was going back home for dinner, but we ended up “sharing” a can of Vegetable Beef Chunky Soup instead at 4:50, meaning I had to wash two bowls and spoons instead of one when he decided that he’d be too full for dinner at home. *rolleyes*

We talked about Nathan and Ciel, trying the Italian Tomato Restaurant again, his children’s cough medicine (the pharmacy ran out of other cough medicine since everyone’s sick now), serial killers, remote-controlled stuff, electric cars, gasoline, Steph, Lisa, Carey Price, TMZ, annoying Christmas commercials, Google Home, SURVIVOR, the Hollywood sex scandals, the 1917 Montreal Canadiens / Ottawa Senators, and the negative temperatures at the outdoor game. Also discussed goalies not being allowed to crouch to make saves back in 1917, people swearing, the parking pass patrol, my hockey fan friends, Jon, Harmony, all my nephews, Robert Pickton, Discord, Jimmy, Daniel Alfredsson and the Hall of Fame, venting, SkipTheDishes, Brent Burns, the Vegas Golden Knights winning 2-1 over the Penguins (Fleury’s revenge!), THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES movie, and Roberto Luongo / Cory Schneider / Eddie Lack. Eric left during the second intermission at 5:55 to rest before dinner, but I managed to offload all the leftover snacks on him. No, I don’t feel like eating crumbs from a bag! Eat them yourself, dude! I also found out that he neglected to retract a pen – UGH!

Helixia Prospan children’s cough medicine: An expectorant with ivy leaf extract; relieves cough, loosens mucus and phlegm, 200 mL of syrup, a frog, and tastes like honey for children ages 1 to 11! Sucrose-free, gluten-free, dye-free, and alcohol-free!

Shark’s fin soup!

Dec
16

I went out early (for me) at 11 on a 407 to London Drugs so I could get an on-sale tall Nescafé coffee canister (December 23, 2016), on-sale De Cecco pasta (farfalle and rigatoni), on-sale Munchies Snack Mix with my last 50¢ (50 cents) off coupon, a Terry’s Chocolate Orange / an on-sale Cadbury dark milk chocolate bar / on-sale Ragusa Noir chocolate bar / an on-sale big Jersey Milk chocolate bar for Eric Ho, another on-sale Ragusa Noir bar for myself, on-sale Vancouver Canucks Upper Deck candy fan bags with lollipops / mints / hockey cards x3 (one for me and one for Eric Ho – the other one to be determined), on-sale Paterson’s Scottish shortbread fingers, Dawn Ultra orange dish detergent, NEW Nongshim SOON Veggie noodles, and NEW on-sale Hershey’s COOKIE + Vanilla Creme / COOKIE + Caramel milk chocolate bars. Then it was COFFEE TIME when I got home at 11:45 on another 407.

I found a huge (and somewhat damp) box right by my door. Whatever – at least I don’t have to go to the “nearest” Canada Post outlet to pick it up… Oh hey, it’s Christmas stuff from Julie! A Peanuts Christmas card, CHRISTMAS HOUSE erasers, Snugadoo Too Super Soft purple striped socks and a red toque, two CHRISTMAS HOUSE jingly necklaces, Hot Tamales Fierce cinnamon jellybeans (better not let the kids have any…), bite-size Tootsie Rolls in a bank, 12 CHRISTMAS HOUSE pencils, CHRISTMAS stickers, and a Christmas memo book with pen!

De Cecco farfalle bowtie pasta!

De Cecco penne rigate!

De Cecco rigatoni!

De Cecco fusilli!

Hershey’s COOKIE + Vanilla Creme bars!

Hershey’s COOKIE + Caramel bars!

Munchies snack mix: Doritos, Cheetos, SUN Chips, and Rold Gold!

Cadbury dark milk chocolate bar!

Paterson’s shortbread fingers!

Nongshim SOON Veggie noodles!

From Reddit on October 31, 2017: NESTING PARTNER?! I know that LDRs are a thing, but just say that it’s the person whom you live with! Also, SearedScallops seems to be involved in more than one relationship at a time. What?!

From Reddit on November 1, 2017: While I can say that ableism does exist because I am a disabled person myself, “creepy” is NOT an ableist term!

And another one because they can fit into the same screenshot when I collapse a bunch of comments…

From Reddit on November 1, 2017: Also, “heavy breathing” is NOT fatphobia! It’s the implication that the person is sexually aroused, not that they can’t go anywhere without having to catch their breath because they’re morbidly obese! Wait – these comments both come from Listen_Up_Slapnuts! That explains something…

Dec
16

Eric Ho called me at 10:30 PM, but I was busy with stuff online, so didn’t notice until I checked my Caller ID at 11. Then he called me back at 11:30, and we talked about his coming over tomorrow for the NHL 100th Anniversary Winter Classic (I’ll believe it when I see it), Nathan supposedly being in town recently (I swear I heard about this as well), the “yearly hangout” email subject line, his being sick and busy lately (I got that impression from his email), and my telling him about something later. It was truly good to catch up with him briefly, and it’ll be more awesome if I see him tomorrow!

From Comedy Central UK: Fanny Määgnet?! (fanny magnet)

From Comedy Central UK: Walter White got 12 years for dealing meth on December 16, 2013?!

From Comedy Central UK: Råån Cid Púbes?! (rancid pubes)

Dec
15

The Canucks played the Sharks at 7 tonight; the game went to overtime, and the Canucks won 4-3 thanks to a goal by Sam Gagner! NO MORE LOSING STREAK! 😀

From my UNCANNY Bathroom Reader #29: Philicity Lafreniere?! That’s not how you spell Felicity!

From Not Always Working: Jill Evensizer?! What if she wears an odd size?!

From Not Always Working: Leonore Winterer?! What if she’s more of a summer person? IRONY!

Dec
15

Auntie Bessy added me on Facebook, haha. Nice! I also got a Christmas photo card in the mail from Steph, Lisa, Fraser, and Henry – AWESOME!

From Jazmin and I’m Not Right in the Head.com: This magical poop-stealing water chair only works if you hold the handle down at least three seconds. Please remember to lower the seat when you are done.

From Julie: A poop with rainbow and SHIT!

From Julie: Holy poop! Hey, the poop is wearing a cross necklace!

Dec
14

I made a new Discord group chatroom for me, Lex, Ika, Kaos, and Hope. HA! Take that, stubborn and toxic Jan! 😛

Marc-Edouard Vlasic plays for the San Jose Sharks?! Does this Croatian have any connection to the Vlasic pickle family?!

From Not Always Hopeless and Very Demotivational: Jesus is riding a dinosaur. This renders your argument invalid.

From Julie: Errek Jett?! I’ve heard of Erik and Erick, but WHAT?!

From LiveJournal: A blue road sign saying, “The Removal of Hell Rocks is Prohibited.”

Dec
13

I did laundry after a shower today. The Canucks played Nashville at 7 tonight, and lost 7-1. Ugh!

From Wesley: A snowman says, “I didn’t mean to sneeze” since his snowman friend fell over because of the sneeze’s force! The first snowman’s carrot nose went into the second snowman’s bum!

From George Takei: I’m so angry! I stitched this just so I could stab something 3000 times.

From Not Always Right: Bekka Pate?! That’s not how you spell Becka…

Dec
13

kFrom the Shoppers Drug Facebook wall on Nov. 6, 2017: Hanukkah and Chanukah are both valid spellings of that holiday, and I learned that in elementary school at least 30 years ago!

From Reddit on Nov. 17, 2017: Having guys concerned about your safety on a (solo) backpacking trip is not perpetuating rape culture! Come on!

Dec
12

I got a surprise Christmas card in the mail from Karla yesterday, so I had to return the favor while I was out today anyhow! Also got a Snoopy and Woodstock Christmas card with ice cream / Christmas cat / Christmas dog / taco / emoji / hamburger / butterfly / cactus stickers from Mandy (dazzamre), a Two of Swords tarot Christmas card / Twinings Söderte tea x3 (Fruity and Floral) from Katherine (cactus_rs) in Stockholm in Sweden, and a Christmas Hello card / Christmas note / various Australian postcards x 24 [Love The Mornington Peninsula x8 / Australian War Memorial / PAINTERS / National Archives of Australia / Tarkine / DIARY OF A WIMPY KID / Bangarra Dance Theatre / Melbourne Zoo / Best of British / bugs of Melbourne Museum / Hokusai / Mental Health Australia / Princess Highway / Linden Postcard Show / Show Us Your Tattoos / REMOTE ALIGNMENTS at the Mars Gallery / THE FATHER at the Melbourne Theatre Company] from Deanna (endlessblush) in today’s mail. Corey said that his parents had moved, so I got the new address from him while we were both online anyway. I totally thought they’d moved to Ontario for a second until I re-read the address! Then I talked to Helen briefly about things, which definitely made me feel better – CLOSURE!

After COFFEE AND ASPIRIN TIME at 2:30, I went out at 3:20 to my dentist appointment with Sean. It went pretty well (he seemed surprised that I was flossing), but I did hear they were moving next year sometime to Fraser and 19th. Not so convenient anymore, but maybe I’ll find new haunts over there. Of course we caught up briefly and wished each other a great Christmas / New Year! I went to the post office at Oakridge afterwards – right upstairs by the Photo Express near the elevators – to mail Karla’s card, then went to Shoppers since I had time before the next 407. I got some Sour Cream and Bacon Ruffles chips with one of my coupons, plus some brand-new on-sale De Cecco and Catelli pasta: fusilli, rotini, and penne rigate x2 in much more reasonably-sized boxes. I got home at 5:20 and threw away the old pasta to make room for the new.

PRODUCT WARNING: Since I’d found a bone in my Western Family pasta the other evening, I am BANNING IT FROM MY APARTMENT!

Twinings Söderte tea from Sweden! (Fruity and Floral)

From Julie M. and WET HOUSE: Here’s a weird Hanukkah sweater! Happy Hanukkah, ya filthy schmuck!

Dragon fighting humans in winter!

From Little Boubba: Recolored Disney princesses!