Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Oct
18

van halen, dreams, picture posts, lj drama, hungry, trauma, paying back owed money, playing cards, cards, collections, collecting, menopause, meatloaf, chocolate, cupcakes, alaska, appreciation, neck, necks, ties, fish, fishes, comic strips, comics, newspaper, newspapers, person, squirrels, luke, dignity, long, distance, long-distance, long-distance boyfriends, long-distance girlfriends, long-distance guys, long-distance people, long-distance relationships, ldr, mastery, screenshots, yoooo eeeeediot, village idiot, wtf, what the hell, easily offended, loving online morons, rolleyes, stupid, stupidity, special, flakes, idiot, huge red flags, unacceptable stuff, ex’s birthday, old boyfriends, you, exes, ex-boyfriends, mike, gordon, beer, beers, brands, truth, truths, bags, jasmine, surrey_sucks, richmond, nearby, richmond centre, facebook, talk like a pirate day, pirates, touch, touching, of, nuts, ages, relationship, relationships, advice, keeping, dallas, some, kinds, forms, 1040, dumping, him, a, clients, or, working, work, online, burning, bridges, ebay, whining and moaning, solutions, uncomfortable, hanging out, finding, social, other, respect, treatment, pink, twi’lek, asshole, assholes, hiding osama bin laden in garden shed, waiting, rules, fame, future, the future, in, the, blacklisting, harassment, people, he, bad blood, fuck, gibbering idiotically, idiotic criminals, not enough storage, buildings, actions, ebay, reviews, selling, accounting, accusations, accusing, an, proof, losers, kidding, 2009, snes, 9, x, hacks, final fantasy, v, 5, spoofs, new year’s, happy new year, new year’s day, new years, new years day, final fantasy characters, 9999, bart’s pranks to moe the bartender, alena, charlotte, cara, galician, baba o’riley, big fluffy words, far, is, screenshots, gaming, video games, scuppering, playing video games, videogames, playing videogames, around the world, the world, world, worlds, 69, 420, anime, anime / manga character, lj manga life, shoujo manga, sailor moon, hentai, library, libraries, it, scholarships, that, pages, and, possession, monsters, short posts, 2009, 2017, books, characters, charlotte, drugs, dylan, games, links, michael, parties, pictures, reddit, rich, sex, snow, stupid idiots, weird stuff, maxed-out tags limit,

I don’t want to burn any bridges! / Page 22, Page 69, Page 187, and Page 420!

VILLAGE IDIOT ICON

ADD TO NONSENSE AND WEIRD STUFF MEMORY ENTRIES!

From Reddit on June 9, 2017: No, Sunkindonut149, you DO want to burn bridges with someone who touched you inappropriately. She sounds like Mike: I can’t leave bad eBay reviews for someone in case they see them and then don’t want to send me anything else!”

Bartz, Lenna, Galuf, and Faris make it to the Ancient Library / Manga Library in FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF. This scholar says, “It seems that only Pages 22, 69, 187, and 420 are ever possessed by monsters.”

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Oct
18

FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF Bestiary!

This is the complete bestiary for FINAL FANTASY 5 SPOOF, and all screenshots are from my own playthrough. I’d like to say that this GameFAQs bestiary document helped me a lot; thank you! (as did this one, for more precise directions in certain places) Also, this walkthrough helped me a lot, too! Actually, I was tired of suffering through emulator slowness and game glitches x8, so input a code for a 100% complete Bestiary. These maps will help, since the world map DOESN’T FUCKING WORK IN THIS GAME!

This is a good RPG Classics page for Pro Action Replay codes!

CHECK THE MAP WITH THE Y BUTTON, NOT THE R BUTTON!

Fire-Powered Ship puzzle directions.

Notes to self: Activate the All Characters Have All Abilities code, and then TAKE IT OFF, or else the game will get incredibly frustratingly SLOW. Also, take all codes off before going to the Big Bridge, or attempting to find the Phantom Village! VISHNU VEST EQUIPMENT! Speaking of equipment, EQUIP KRILE WHEN SHE JOINS THE PARTY AFTER GALUF’S DEATH! As far as codes go, the “have 99 of all items” code makes the game freeze and have sound issues!

After much frustration over three hours, I managed to defeat Omega by using the power of Mirage Vests (IMAGE STATUS) / Coral Rings (fire protection), and a pre-emptive strike! I used it to power up my blades with Thundaga Spellblade, then used Rapid-Fire on Faris… I think it was a fluke!

Also, to reset the breath timer in the sunken tower of Walse, climb up the fourth floor vine to get to that chest! I finally actually defeated Famed Mimic Gogo at the bottom of the sunken Tower of Walse by using the Dragoon / Dual-Wield x4 strategy! It was pretty tricky since I wasn’t sure that all my characters would survive at least five Meteor attacks, but two of them did! Got garbled text as part of the bugged fight, too… “Dragged into another dimension! Odin: All right, that’s far enough! Turning to stone… Can’t escape! Countdown to Pestilence… 4 KO’d! Countdown to Eruption… 5 KO’d! Level halved! KO’d!”:D

To get the Drakenvale Golem in the Bestiary, defeat the dragons first and THEN defend until he thanks you!

Stick “READ AHEAD” on a character other than Lenna! To prevent having to input all the codes over and over again, SAVE / remove all codes / then close and reopen the emulator! They should all still be there!

For the Moogle in the Forest of Moore to move after the trees have been set on fire by Tzepish, save the game in the cave and then reset. The creature should NOT be blocking the entrance.

Airship in World 3: It’s just above Surgate Castle, east of the Pyramid.

DO NOT SET ANY “No Random Encounters” CODE! IT WILL GLITCH OUT THE GAME! (submarine / world map won’t work, and there WILL be no random encounters)

TRY DEFEATING NEO SHINRYU FIRST BEFORE OMEGA MK. II – or else you can’t get out of the room for some reason! (the exit door SHOULD be open, but is shut tight instead!)

Max / Infinite Gil: B603583D 4982FCD2 (Gameshark)

8:57 of this Castle Bal video: GREAT SWORD!

Goblin (Potion, Leather Cap)

Steel Bat (Potion)

Dearo (Potion)

[lj-cut text=”Dragons, Digger Nick, and Tzepish!”]Stroper (Potion)

Nut Eater (Potion)

Killer Bee (Potion)

Stray Cat (Potion)

White Snake (Potion)

Black Goblin (Potion, Leather Shoes)

Mold Wind (Elixir)

Wing Raptor (Potion, Phoenix Down) [boss]

Mani Wizard (Potion, Rod)

Bandersnatch (Potion)

Sucker (Potion)

Octokraken (Potion)

Karlabos (Potion, Tent) [boss]

Carcurser (Potion, Elixir)

Skeleton (Dagger)

Psycho Head (Flame Scroll)

Undead Rusk (Ether, Potion, Elixir)

Mom? (Bronze Armor) [boss]

Zombie Mom (Bronze Shield) [boss]

Tatu (Potion, Tent)

Bighorn (Potion)

HeavyP Carwen (Maiden’s Kiss)

Gatlings (Gold Needle)

Gala Cat (Potion)

Rock Garter (Potion)

Cockatrice (Gold Needle)

Blocks (Hi-Potion, Silver Specs)

Magisa (Whip) [boss]

Forza (Power Drink / JDaniels) [boss]

Wakarimasen (Elixir, Iron Draft / Captain Morgan, Phoenix Down)

Ice Soldier (Potion, Mythril Sword, Long Sword)

Elf Toad (Potion)

Ice Commander (Mythril Sword, Long Sword) [boss]

Shiva (Phoenix Down, Hi-Potion, Frost Rod) [boss]

Rikald Mage (Rod, Flame Rod)

Padosule (Potion)

Wyvern (Mythril Knife, Potion)

HeavyP Walse Tower (Hi-Potion, Potion) [boss]

Wild Nack (Potion)

Zuu (Elixir)

Aegil (Potion)

Grass Turtle (Turtle Shell)

Motor Trap (Ether)

Crew Dust (Eye Drops, Potion)

Defeater (Potion, Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Poltergeist (Hi-Potion)

Black Crack Human (Flame Scroll, Flame Rod) [boss]

Black Crack Hand (Flame Scroll, Flame Rod) [boss]

Black Crack Whirlwind (Flame Scroll, Flame Rod) [boss]

Gigas (Elixir, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi)

Sorcerer (Gaia Gear, Mage Masher, Ether)

Sergeant (Potion, Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Karnak (Potion)

Iron Claw (Hero Cocktail / Absinthe, Silver Specs) [boss]

Dhorme Chimera (Trident, Phoenix Down)

Mithril Dragon (Mythril Armor, Potion, Mythril Glove)

Silent Bee (Gold Needle)

Page 22 (Green Beret, Potion)

Page 69 (Silver Specs, Potion, Phoenix Down)

Page 187 (Ether, Potion)

Page 420 (Ninja Suit, Hi-Potion, Mythril Shield)

Ifrit (Phoenix Down, Flame Scroll) [boss]

Byblos 1 (Dark Matter, Mallet / Luck Mallet, Iron Draft / Captain Morgan) [boss]

Sahagin (Potion) [only found in the waters southeast of the Phoenix Tower]

Corvette (Trident, Hi-Potion)

Thunder Anemone (Lightning Scroll)

Sea Avis (Gold Needle)

Black Flame (Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Bomb (Potion)

Bio Soldier (War Hammer, Battle Axe, Antidote)

Crescent (Silver Bow, Death Sickle / Doom Sickle)

Twin Lizard (Potion)

Skull Eater (Tent, Elixir)

Stone Golem (Gold Needle, Hi-Potion)

Mini Dragon (Dragon Fang)

Ramuh (Hi-Potion, Ramuh) [boss]

Hole [boss]

Sandworm [boss]

Sand Killer (Antidote)

Sand Porky (Potion)

Sand Bear (Javelin, Antidote)

Crayclaw (Coral Sword, Frost Bow) [boss]

Prototype (Ether, Dark Matter)

Drug Lord (Iron Draft / Captain Morgan, Turtle Shell) [boss]

Flame WMD 1 (first type) {Ether, Hi-Potion} [boss]

Rocket WMD 2 (second type) {Ether, Hi-Potion} [boss]

MEGACANNON (Elixir, Ether, Dark Matter) [boss]

Launcher (Elixir, Ether, Dark Matter) [boss]

Whirl Demon (Elixir, Potion, Dark Bow)

Lamia (Lamia’s Tiara, Maiden’s Kiss)

Stoned Mask (Gold Needle)

Ra Mage (Sage’s Surplice, Elixir)

Gohn Knight (Power Drink / JDaniels, Hi-Potion, Mythril Shield)

Hyudora (Hi-Potion, Ether, Dragon Fang)

ArchaeToad (Hi-Potion)

Hydra (Killer Bow, Phoenix Down)

ArchaeAvis 1-5 (Goliath Tonic / Bacardi, Power Drink / JDaniels, Speed Shake / Schnapps, Iron Draft / Captain Morgan, Hero Cocktail / Absinthe) [boss]

Titan (Gaia Hammer, Potion, Hi-Potion) [boss]

Drug Bombs (Eye Drops) [boss]

Coke Demon (Wind Spear, Dragon Fang, Phoenix Down) [boss]

Pao (Hi-Potion, Potion, Tent)

Blue Policia 1 Pao Island (Gaia Gear, Ether) [boss]

Jail Bear (Spear, Hi-Potion)

Tarantula (Potion)

Digger Nick 1 Castle Tzepish Basement (Elixir) [boss]

Water Buzz (Ether)

Torrent (Potion, Hi-Potion)

Rock Brain (Elixir)

Little Chariot (Hi-Potion)

Neo Heavy P (Water Scroll)

Digger Nick 2 Big Bridge (Trident, Hero Cocktail / Absinthe, Wizard’s Hat) [boss]

Flying Killer (Antidote)

Fishman (Potion)

Dilure (Potion)

Faerie Orc (Potion, Holy Water, Hi-Potion)

Devourer (Hi-Potion)

Mandrake (Antidote, Eye Drops)

Lunenta (Phoenix Down, Ether)

Shield Dragon (Golden Shield, Mythril Shield)

Kuzar (Elixir)

Kupo Eater (Hi-Potion)

Acrophese (Potion)

Lopros (Hi-Potion)

Blood Slime (Holy Water)

Hungry Dino (Golden Shield, Elixir) [boss]

Cactus (Gold Needle, Potion)

Sand Crawl (Tent, Power Drink / JDaniels)

Statue (Twin Lance, Hi-Potion, Gold Needle)

The Boss Bal Castle (Power Armlet, Hi-Potion, Potion) [boss]

Tasty Frog (Potion, Eye Drops)

Ridicule (Maiden’s Kiss, Hero Cocktail / Absinthe)

Aquathone (Potion, Antidote)

Weresnake (Potion, Hi-Potion)

Andagranda (Iron Draft / Captain Morgan)

Gil Turtle (Hi-Potion, Potion) [boss]

Drippy (Sage’s Surplice, Mythril Hammer, Tent)

???

Zombie Dragon (Dark Matter, Dragon Fang)

Bone Dragon (Gold Needle, Ether)

Sting Eagle (Hayate Bow, Antidote)

Likaon (Hi-Potion, Holy Water)

Golem [boss]

Doctor Hiryuu Plant (Elixir) [boss]

Pansies 1-3 (Phoenix Down) [boss]

Cure Beast (Hi-Potion, Elixir)

Land Turtle (Potion, Turtle Shell)

Gabbledegak (Hi-Potion, Potion, Phoenix Down)

Digger Nick 3 Mr. Z’s Fleet (Genji Gloves, Golden Shield) [boss]

Policia 2 (Green Beret) [boss]

Traveler (Dream Harp)

Red Dragon (Flame Ring, Hi-Potion, Elixir)

Yellow Dragon (Ether, Thunder Rod, Coral Ring)

Gravido (Hi-Potion, Gaia Gear)

Neon (Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Tricker (Potion, Hi-Potion)

Wall Knight (Poison Axe, War Hammer, Reflect Ring / Wall Ring)

Magnetes (Hi-Potion)

Ziggurat (Partisan, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi)

Yog-Sothoth (Flail, Ether, Dark Matter) [boss]

Bold Mani (Hi-Potion, Holy Water)

Iron Dress (Potion, Tent)

Druid (Angel Ring, Potion, Phoenix Down)

Shoat (Phoenix Down, Catoblepas / Shoat) [boss]

Metamorpha (Hi-Potion, Staff, Staff of Light)

Radiator (Potion)

GajraGajri (Eye Drops, Ether)

Mini Mage (Wizard’s Hat)

Wyrm (Antidote, Dragon Fang)

Mammon (Hi-Potion)

Imp (Potion, Diamond Armlet)

THE CURE 1 (absorbs fire) {Elixir, Ash / Soot} [boss]

THE CURE 2 (absorbs earth) {Elixir, Ash / Soot} [boss]

THE CURE 3 (absorbs water) {Elixir, Ash / Soot} [boss]

THE CURE 4 (absorbs wind) {Elixir, Ash / Soot} [boss]

Tzepish Humanoid (Judgment Staff, Elixir) [boss]

Blind Wolf (Eye Drops)

Wall Mage (Reflect Ring / Wall Ring)

Twin Lizard (Hi-Potion, Potion)

Magic Dragon (Hi-Potion, Potion, Elixir)

Adamantite Golem (Hi-Potion, Potion)

Arage (Hi-Potion, Potion, Phoenix Down)

Dementor (Judgment Staff, Poison Rod / Venom Rod, Power Staff)

Bandercoeurl (Phoenix Down)

Green Abductor (Power Armlet, Hi-Potion, Potion) [boss]

d
Motordrive (Beast Killer, Potion, Hero Cocktail / Absinthe)

Blue Dragon x3 (Cottage, Dragon Fang)

Carbuncle (Goliath Tonic / Bacardi, Reflect Ring / Wall Ring, Turtle Shell) [boss]

Digger Nick 4 Castle Tzepish (Gauntlets, Hi-Potion, Genji Helm, Taliban) [boss]

Digger Nick 4 Castle Tzepish Form 2 (Gauntlets, Hi-Potion, Genji Helm, Taliban) [boss]

Tzepish 2 [boss]

Antlion [boss]

Elm Gigas (Hero Cocktail / Absinthe, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi)

Hedgehog (Gold Needle)

Python (Antidote, Eye Drops)

Treeman (Iron Draft / Captain Morgan, Power Drink / JDaniels, Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Shadow (Hi-Potion, Holy Water)

Sleepy (Hi-Potion, Healing Staff, Leather Cap)

Barette (Potion, Hi-Potion)

Desertpede (Antidote, Potion, Dark Matter)

Gloom Widow (Hi-Potion, Potion)

Slug (Hi-Potion, Potion)

Mukare (Death Sickle / Doom Sickle, Silk Robe, Luminous Robe / Lumina Robe)

Gargoyle (Phoenix Down, Potion, Hi-Potion) [boss]

Nile (Iron Draft / Captain Morgan)

Bland Lamia (Thornlet, Maiden’s Kiss, Lamia’s Tiara)

Cursed One (Holy Water)

Aspis (Hi-Potion, Antidote)

Grand Mummy (Holy Water, Hi-Potion) [boss]

Archaesaur (Phoenix Down, Dragon Fang)

Pyra Layer (Power Drink / JDaniels, Potion)

Zephyr Zone (Elixir, Potion)

Machine Head (Gauntlets, Ether, Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Mummy (Hi-Potion, Potion, Holy Water)

Sekhmet (Thief’s Gloves, Hi-Potion, Crystal Armor) [boss]

Fall Guard (Hero Cocktail / Absinthe, Twist Headband, Kaiser Knuckles)

Merugene 1-4 (Leather Armor, Maiden’s Kiss, Leather Cap, Leather Shoes, Leather Shield) [boss]

Spoof Soul (Dark Matter)

Sea Scorpion (Potion)

Giant Bird (Murasame, Hi-Potion, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi)

Sea Devil (Defender, Hi-Potion, Turtle Shell)

Armon (Hi-Potion, Antidote)

Silvune (Silver Specs, Maiden’s Kiss, Angel Ring)

Gel Fish (Potion, Hi-Potion)

Stingray (rare) [Rune Blade, Dark Matter, Dragon’s Whisker]

Blizzard (Hi-Potion)

Spizzner (Potion)

Isteritos (Judgment Staff, Antidote, Dragon Fang)

Odin (Protect Ring, Flame Shield) [boss]

Landcrawler (Defender, Ancient Sword, Elixir)

Ammona (Potion, Hi-Potion, Holy Water)

Anku Heggu (Hi-Potion, Potion)

Ixecrator (Ether, Diamond Armlet)

Oiseaurare / Owazoral (Mirage Vest, Hi-Potion, Holy Water)

Pantera

Invisible

Tote Avis (Ether, Aevis Killer)

Slow Ninja (Ice Shield, Ashura, Kotetsu)

Shadow Dancer (Dancing Dagger, Power Armlet, Mallet / Luck Mallet)

Stalker (Dark Matter) [boss]

Tiny Mage (Ether, Potion)

Flare (Blitz Whip, Elixir, Sage’s Miter)

Dim Master (Healing Staff, Potion, Hi-Potion)

Duel Knight (Flame Shield, Power Drink / JDaniels)

Berserker (Elven Bow, Speed Shake / Schnapps, Death Sickle / Doom Sickle)

Ion / Iron Muscles (Goliath Tonic / Bacardi)

Minotauros (Fuma Shuriken / Pinwheel, Leather Shoes) [boss]

Omniscient (Kornago Gourd / Corna Jar, Potion) [boss]

Famed Mimic Gogo (Gold Hairpin, Leather Armor, Tiger Mask) [boss]

Unknown (blob) [Hi-Potion, Potion, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi]

Unknown (spore 1) [Beast Killer]

Unknown (worm) [Hi-Potion, Potion, Power Drink / JDaniels]

Unknown (spore 2) [Hi-Potion, Potion, Speed Shake / Schnapps]

Unknown (skeleton) [Hi-Potion, Potion, Iron Draft / Captain Morgan]

Triton (Elixir, Gold Needle, Iron Draft / Captain Morgan) [boss]

Neregeid (Elixir, Gold Needle, Power Drink / JDaniels) [boss]

Phobos (Elixir, Gold Needle, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi) [boss]

Gel Water (Hi-Potion, Potion, Speed Shake / Schnapps)

Alcumia (Man-Eater, Maiden’s Kiss, Elixir)

Mercury Bat (Potion, Hi-Potion)

Tonberry (Elixir, Plumed Hat, Mirage Vest)

Coral (Iron Draft / Captain Morgan, Potion)

Leviathan (Elixir, Reflect Ring / Wall Ring) [boss]

Bahamut (Dragon Fang) [boss]

Magic Pot / Magic Urn [demands Elixirs]

Chamcubia (Ribbon, Reflect Ring / Wall Ring, Lamia’s Harp)

Bella Donna (Coral Ring, Rainbow Dress, Reflect Ring / Wall Ring)

Cherie (Elven Mantle, Red Slippers, Hermes Sandals / Running Shoes)

Grenade (Flame Shield, Hi-Potion)

Baldanders (Angel Ring, Turtle Shell, Rune Chime)

Level Checker (Ether, Potion, Elixir)

Doom Dealer (Sage’s Miter, Holy Water, Phoenix Down)

White Flame (Elixir, Eye Drops, Ether)

Moss Fungus (Air Knife, Hi-Potion, Antidote)

Farfarello (Lilith Rod, Speed Shake / Schnapps, Eye Drops)

Calofisteri (Reflect Ring / Wall Ring, Plumed Hat, Diamond Plate) [boss]

Orcat (Gold Needle, Dark Matter, Phoenix Down)

Great Dragon (Power Drink / JDaniels, Dragon Fang)

Achelone (Flametongue, Turtle Shell, Elixir)

Omega (Omega Badge) [boss]

Byblos 2 (Ash / Soot) [boss]

Avis Dragon (Artemis Bow, Trident, Dragon Fang)

Ninja (Kikuichimonji, Shuriken, Fuma Shuriken / Pinwheel)

Sword Dancer (Enhancer, Mythril Helm, Ice Brand)

Iron Giant (Iron Armor, Iron Helm, Goliath Tonic / Bacardi)

Azulmagia / Apocalypse (Titan’s Glove, Elixir, Black Cowl) [boss]

Alte Roite (Holy Water, Potion, Healing Staff) [boss]

Jura Avis (Dragon Lance, Turtle Shell, Dragon Fang) [boss]

Catastrophe (Cottage, Elixir, Gold Needle) [boss]

Halicarnassus (Aegis Shield, Staff of Light, Elven Mantle) [boss]

Fury (Cursed Ring, Reflect Ring / Wall Ring, Black Robe)

Death Claw (Thor Hammer, Hero Cocktail / Absinthe, Gold Needle)

Bodyguard (Murakumo, Cottage, Power Sash)

Twintania (Flame Shield, Phoenix Down, Tinklebell) [boss]

Digger Nick 5 Interdimensional Rift (Genji Shield, Rune Bow) [boss]

Belfegor (Rising Sun, Moonring Blade, Ice Shield)

Crystal Dragon (Dragon Lance, Elixir, Crystal Armor)

King Behemoth (Blood Sword, Phoenix Down, Twin Lance)

Mover (Flame Scroll, Lightning Scroll, Water Scroll)

Necromancer (Bone Mail, Holy Water)

Gorgimera (Aegis Shield, Hi-Potion, Circlet)

Shinryu / Chuck Norris (Dragon’s Whisker, Dragon Fang, Dragon Seal) [boss]

Mindflayer / Mind Mage (Main Gauche, Green Beret, White Robe)

Crystelle / Thing (Crystal Shield, Ether, Crystal Helm)

Barrier (Reflect Ring / Wall Ring, Hi-Potion) [boss]

Necrophobe / Nyarla (Thief’s Gloves, Elixir, Luminous Robe / Lumina Robe) [boss]

Digger Nick 6 [boss]

Tzepish Tree [big boss]

SPOOF [boss]

[/lj-cut]

Oct
18

PERIODS: What my boyfriend, my dad, my mom, my siblings, and commercials think I do on my period… and what I actually do!

These Always pads are not a Sonicare device! FAIL!

From Whisper and Pinterest: Whenever someone says, “You must be on your period,” I just say, “I started my day in a puddle of my own blood. Is that how you would like me to end yours?”

Oct
18

From Julie: Bag of Zombie Farts cotton candy!

From a Youtube documentary on the serial killer Joel Rifkin: Steve Louder works for the New York State Police?! What happens if he’s SOFTER?! Hahaha!

From TAMAGOTCHI for the Game Boy: Remember to FLASH the toilet!

Oct
17

MORE COFFEE TIME! The Canucks played the Senators at 4:30 today, and won 3-0 on goals by Boeser / Burmistrov / Vanek!

From PRISONER OF WAR on the NES: Congraturation!

From Sextuplets: The Little Lambs: This neonatologist consultant doctor is named Kenny McCormick?! SOUTH PARK, AHOY!

From Julie: Dog attacking a human in a family photo!

Oct
17

After COFFEE TIME and being on the phone to Canada Post’s customer service this morning for a while – where they couldn’t even guarantee that my post office address pickup location could be changed – I went to Blundell Centre at 12:30 on a 407 and a 402, which of course I had to wait 15 minutes for. I finally got to the Shoppers Drug Mart post office after 1 PM and FINALLY got my 30th Anniversary OLD FAITHFUL Bathroom Reader! While I was at the store, I saw Lindt Advent calendars for sale already! UGH! I also saw on-sale Korean BBQ chips, so got a couple of bags for Jon / Harmony and Chrystal. I also got on-sale Always pads, since it’s always good to stock up on those if I can! I got to the 402 bus stop for Brighouse just in time, but somehow lost my BOLEYN INHERITANCE book at Brighouse in the excitement of seeing the 407. At least I finally got home at 2:15, but that takes way too fucking long just to pick something up at the post office!

KNIT YOUR OWN KAMA SUTRA?!

LIVING WITH CRAZY BUTTOCKS?!

MAKING PIGEONS PAY?!

Oct
16

Today is Dictionary Day! šŸ˜€

Canada Post didn’t even make an effort to deliver my newest Bathroom Reader in my mailbox, instead sticking a “failure to deliver” notice inside without a phone call. Guess I’ll have to make the trek over to Blundell Centre tomorrow before the hockey game… sigh. Of course I had to shower today, though.

From Not Always Right: Dawn Seaman?!

From Not Always Right: River Little?!

From Youtube: Sharin Morningstar Keenan?! That’s supposed to be SHARON so it won’t be confused with SHARING. Also, a morning star is either an actual star or a weapon!

From Not Always Working: Abby JADELYN Davidson?!

Oct
15

From my UNSINKABLE Bathroom Reader #21: GREEK RURAL POSTMEN AND THEIR CANCELLATION NUMBERS?!

From my UNSINKABLE Bathroom Reader #21: THE JOY OF CHICKENS?!

Oct
14

Eric Ho called me this afternoon to say that there were changes afoot at work, so (of course) he couldn’t guarantee he could come over later. I’ve had it with that, actually! The Canucks played the Flames tonight at 7, and lost 5-2.

From Not Always Right: Tanna Farley?! So do you tan all the time or are you a tanner?

From Not Always Right: David Willy?! DICK JOKE INCOMING.

From Not Always Right: Jonathon Flores?! That is not a good way to spell JONATHAN.

From Laid-Back Corner: Tiffany Maddux Pretty?! What if she’d turned out to be ugly?

From Not Always Right: Kelly Luper?! That just reminds me of lupus!

Oct
13

After COFFEE TIME at 4:45, I left at 6:30 to meet Chrystal at the Broadway London Drugs at 7-ish for a belated birthday dinner treat! I had her Want Want Snowy Crackers from Big Crazy, of course. I was standing around reading MAD MAGAZINE when Chrystal came up behind me. We summarily went to Original Joe’s after she said that I could pick anywhere I wanted because it was her treat, and we waited about 20 minutes, “sharing” a table with two other guys. She had a burger with dill sauce and fries (which I ate – plus the pickle from the burger), and I had steak and salmon bites with vegetables instead of rice because that would take too long. We talked about her nephew Ethan liking water / numbers / Science World, and definitely knowing what he (doesn’t) want, and calling Chrystal “Yee Ma” / not hugging Auntie Kathy after he says he will. I told her about Ayler and Hiero both wanting to hug me – and going through with it – and the Thanksgiving dinner recently. Yup, Jon and Harmony really need a place to live, and my parents are travelling AGAIN. The waitress apparently loved my “warm” red sweater from Sears, so I definitely let her touch it, haha! COMPLIMENTS!

Chrystal’s going to take two weeks off at the beginning of December, and it sounds like she really needs it! I said I’d call her at the end of November to set something up since that made sense to me! I wondered whether she’d thought about living on her own, and people have definitely asked her that before! Not that there’s anything wrong with living with her parents, of course! We talked about Christmas cards being on sale at London Drugs already, THE AMAZING RACE CANADA, just watching TV when she should go to bed way before 2 when she has to work at 9, the MEGA SUSHI dinner, a new Chipotle opening up around that area soon, her sleeping in and “wasting” her weekend mornings, Emily / Mike, Phil and Grace’s baby girl, and not going to church as much. When we had to leave (after I exchanged a bent fork for a new one, and after thanking Chrystal for the dinner), I wanted the guys beside us at another table to make way, but got into a conversation with one of the (brown-haired / scruffy-ish) guys about Bo Horvat / Reddit / my looking 21 / Donald Trump / his jokingly blaming me for his not getting a burger anytime soon. I even touched him on his shoulder and arm, which is pretty good for me, all things considered! I got home at 10, and then proceeded to blow people’s minds in the r/hockey Discord when I revealed that I’d been alive in 1991! (context: going to the West Edmonton Mall)

From Julie S. and Snapchat: I think my Icy Original Lemonade may be expired… Sell by November 13, 1657?!

Steak and salmon bites from Original Joe’s! SterlingĀ® Silver sirloin and Pacific salmon in a sweet soy glaze over brown rice; with shredded carrot, red pepper, and green onion. Creamy sesame steak sauce on the side.