Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Feb
27

After MORE COFFEE TIME, I went out at 4:25 to attempt to find Wo’s Restaurant. Nobody was there when I found it, so after waiting for ten minutes, I went right back home again. Not my fault that you people are a bunch of late-comers, so of course I called Steph and gave her a piece of my mind.

From Leap Year Babies: May the fact that your birthday comes once every four years be a passing excuse for your infantile behavior.

Feb
27

Somehow, I woke up at 5:20 AM despite going to bed at 11:15 PM… ugh!

Teresa says that Gwyneth has been found – PHEW! I looked out the window and saw MORE SNOW!

From Julie: Ultima Morgan?! Ultima is a game or a FINAL FANTASY spell or weapon!

Anti-Joke Chicken: What was the last thing that went through Stalin’s mind before he died? A blood clot.

In FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS, Terra and Locke make it to Figaro Castle. King Edgar is a non-perverted dragoon! “Well? How do you like my castle?”

Kefka in the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS Figaro desert: “Shit! Emperor Zemus’ stupid orders!”

Kefka in the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS Figaro desert: “Damn these sand dunes! Even chocobos would wither away out here!”

Kefka in the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS Figaro desert: “Ahem… there’s SAND on my boots!”

Feb
26

PRODUCT WARNING: I’m banning Aroi curry noodles from my apartment. They can make you shart, and give you diarrhea!

In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness and Jeff teleport to Twoson from Fourside. They go to the Chaos theatre, where the Runaway Brothers were playing. The theatre manager is named MR. DOGFOOD?!

In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness and Jeff are in Fourside. They make it to the Monotoly Building and this golden room. Porky Minch’s dad is named OILY Mincemeat?! “Ness. I’m Oily Mincemeat, Porky’s dad.”

In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness goes back into Porky’s house after Buzz-Buzz dies. Porky Minch’s mom is named LARDNA Mincemeat?! “My husband is very soft-hearted.” Not if he spanks Porky and Picky for being out late at night…

In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness can initially leave his house in his pajamas. Here he is with his mom waiting for him at the front door.

In MOTHER 2 DELUXE, Ness meets his Onett neighbor, who is named LIER X. AGERATE. (“liar exaggerate”) “Hey, Ness! Hiya, buddy!”

Feb
26

Scott C. added me to Facebook – that’s fine, then! Teresa also posted that her daughter Gwyneth is missing. Hopefully, she’s found soon!

From Krista: White dragon with feathery wings!

Julie S. saw these HERALDRY DRAGON DISH TOWELS / TEA TOWELS by Wild Eye Designs on Zulily!

From Vanessa: A red dragon onesie!

Feb
25

The Canucks (of whom five have the mumps!) played the Sharks at 7 tonight, and lost 4-1.

In BOZOBOUND, Bozo / Paige / Robot talk to this woman by the tent in Cirque de Town, who has this to say: “More random text.” Whoever hacked this game didn’t thoroughly change all the text, obviously!

Bozo, Paige, and Robot finally make it to Chao Valley in BOZOBOUND. It’s not Saturn Valley even if the Chao denizens speak in Saturn dialect! BOING! ZOOM! DAKOTA!

I finally got a rare Broken Antenna! It’s a 1/128 chance to get one in Lumine Hall from the Uncontrollable Spheres!

From Reddit: Jamie Oliver had another kid on September 17, 2016, The baby boy’s name is River Rocket Blue Oliver?!

Feb
25

I went out at 5 to buy Rockets for Steph at London Drugs. They didn’t have any! So I bought on-sale Waterbridge All Gold biscuits (Cambria / Winchester / Surrey / Wokingham / Cheshire / Durham / Essex / Westmorland / Avon / Salisbury / Lincoln biscuits), on-sale Thai Kitchen bowls (hot and sour soup rice noodles / mushroom rice noodles), and on-sale Prego pasta sauce in Fresh Mushroom flavor. At least I got home at 6:05!

Prego “flavored with meat” pasta sauce! 1.75 litres!

Prego pasta sauce: Fresh Mushroom! 1.75 litres!

Thai Kitchen mushroom rice noodle bowl!

Thai Kitchen hot and sour soup rice noodle bowl!

Canadian flag postcard from me to Julie in December 2014!

[lj-cut text=”POSTCARD POWER!”]CANADA FLAG POWER! Thankfully, Homeland Security / the post office did NOT see a need to open my package to Julie in December 2014!

Canada moose postcard from me to Julie in December 2014!

Gotta love those moose antlers from a distance!

A postcard from me to Julie in December 2014: a black bear from the Canadian Rockies!

You can safely see black bears from a distance, not up close!

A kitten Christmas card from me to Julie in December 2014!

Now I remember why this was a package and not an envelope: I included a bunch of notebooks from me to Julie in December 2014!

I found animal stickers featuring Santa hats, so of course had to include them in December 2014!

A Granville Island postcard from me to Julie in December 2014!

Granville Island is definitely a tourist attraction, that’s for sure!

An Inukshuk postcard from me to Julie in December 2014!

Nope, I still have not seen that Inukshuk!

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Feb
24

I definitely had to take a shower because of what happened earlier!

From Julie: Heaven’Leigh Marshall?! That would be bad enough with the normal spelling for a girl… but with random apostrophes and on a guy?! No thanks!

From Reddit: Grammar Nazi!

Save-On Foods needs to rethink their packaging for fresh crispy chicken. They shared this on Facebook, and everyone thought it was crispy chicken ice cream!

PK Fiber from Redbubble! Lucas from MOTHER 3 is on a cereal box!

Feb
24

I HATE TOILET EMERGENCIES! I had to throw away some panties!

From Wesley and Failblog: Google Autocomplete Fail! Is it rude to fart when someone is crying?

From Alice and Wish.com: Cute poop emoji cushions for a Christmas present!

From Ripley’s Believe It Or Not: A crystal bling toilet! It has more than 72,000 pieces of Swarovski cut crystal, and is valued at over $100,000!

Feb
24

I called Barry this morning at 9 AM after uploading and tagging photos till 3:15 AM. We went to both banks at 9:40 or so, getting back here at 10:05 AM. We talked about politics and another new “increase” which really just is almost all the cost of the yearly bus pass.

PRODUCT WARNING: I’m banning Indomie Mi Goreng noodles from my apartment. It’s too saucy!

Ness, Paula, Jeff, and the Super Plush Teddy Bear go to the Summers beach in MOTHER 2 DELUXE. They meet the Magic Cake lady at this cart. “This is a very special Magic Cake…” Yeah, the screen is turning purple and blurry because it’s a DRUG REFERENCE!

Chancellor Tic-Tac-Toe in the kingdom of Ranma in the Far East: “Prince Poo, the time has now come for you to undertake your final trial.” I like the name of Tic-Tac-Toe!

Prince Poo picks up a Stone of Enlightenment from one of Castle Ranma’s treasure chests in the throne room. It’s a miraculous stone that enables you to “concentrate” without using your own brain.

Woman to Poo: “I just roasted some garlic and ate it, so the room still stinks.”

The spirit is coming down from the sky!

“Prince Poo… I am the spirit of your ancient lineage.”

“To complete your trial, I am going to break your legs.”

“You will lose the use of them. Do you accept this? Yes or no.”

“So, Prince Poo… you cannot walk, as your legs are broken.”

“Next, I will tear your arms off…”

“I shall then take your arms and feed them to the crows.”

“The taking of your arms… Do you accept this? Yes or no.”

“Ah, Prince Poo… Without legs and arms, you can only lie there…”

“Now, I’ll cut your ears off. You do not mind my taking your hearing away, do you?”

“Do you accept this? Yes or no.”

“(So, Prince Poo… No legs, no arms, and no sound…)”

“(By floating words through the air, I must ask you…)”

“(Do you care if I take your eyes?)”

“(Do you want to live in eternal darkness?)”

“(I will now crush your eyeballs… Do you accept this?) Yes or no.”

“(So, Prince Poo. Now I can only communicate directly with your mind.)”

“(Your mind is all you have left…)”

“(In the end, I will take your mind…)”

“(… though you probably don’t want to allow that, do you?)”

“(So… you can’t answer? You can’t even move? Are you sad? Are you lonely?)”

“(If you lose your mind, you also lose any feelings of sadness… Do you accept this?)”

“(I will take your mind, Prince Poo… know that I will possess it…)”

To round the Mu Training off in MOTHER DELUXE 2, Poo gets a phone call from Ness’s dad, hahaha! “Hello, it’s your dad. You’ve been out there for a long time now…”

Ness’s dad: “Ahhh… and this would be? So, this isn’t Ness. Don’t strain yourself on your journey. Good luck, whoever you are.”

Feb
23

I finally changed my Gmail signature this morning! No, my parents and some other email contacts are NOT good friends of mine!

Old: “Congratulations! You have received this email because you are most likely a friend of mine in good standing. If you feel that you’ve received this message in error, please contact me by phone so I can sort it all out.”

New: “Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons… for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!” Yay for Spocko, AKA Josh!

Barry picked me up at 1 today, and we went to Price Smart. I bought on-sale So Nice almond milk x2, ten on-sale Sidekicks for $1 each (Cheddar Chipotle / Chicken and Broccoli pasta / Teriyaki noodles / Singapore Curry Noodles / White Cheddar Queso / Teriyaki Rice and vermicelli / Tomato Alfredo / Asian BBQ rice and vermicelli / Honey Garlic Noodles / Garlic Butter with Lemon / Tomato Alfredo), Arm and Hammer baking soda, on-sale Doll noodles (shrimp and wonton / spicy pork tonkotsu / sesame oil), on-sale NEW Herbal Essences Honey I’m Strong shampoo and conditioner (with honey and apricot extracts), Campbell’s light mushroom soup, Campbell’s regular mushroom soup, on-sale NEW store brand beef pot roast with gravy, Colgate Max Fresh whitening toothpaste, and Sapporo miso ramen noodles.

Then I also purchased on-sale store brand melatonin (dialing it back to 3 mg from 5 mg), a NEW Mann’s Nourish Bowl (Southwest Chipotle), NEW on-sale store brand roasted garlic chicken tortellini, on-sale NEW Dawn Ultra Platinum Power Oxi dish detergent with an invigorating berry scent, Excel White gum x3, Foothills whipped butter, Lipton tomato vegetable soup x2, big Good Cook bag clips x3, on-sale Campbell’s Chunky Soup for $2 each (Southwestern Chicken / Seafood Chowder / New England Clam Chowder / Chicken Noodle Soup), on-sale Western Family pasta (fusilli / penne rigate), on-sale Ronzoni pasta sauce x2 (Five-Cheese / Arrabiatta), and a pink “sister-in-law” birthday card for Harmony. Then I got home, where Barry scrubbed a stove burner pan for me, then advised me to write a note to the apartment building manager Hester about my non-working stove fan. I saw her at a nearby suite later, so didn’t have to go all the way upstairs to her suite!

Herbal Essences Honey, I’m Strong shampoo and conditioner! (with honey and apricot extracts)

Good Cook jumbo bag clip!

TrueBlack blackberry juice: grape, blackberry, and aronia juices!

TrueBlue wild blueberry juice: blueberry, pomegranate, and blackcurrant juices!

Western Family white vinegar!

Western Family beef pot roast in gravy!

Western Family fusilli!

Western Family penne rigate!

Western Family roasted garlic chicken tortellini!

Western Family melatonin!

Imperial margarine in the three-pound container!

Lipton tomato vegetable soup!

Lipton chicken noodle soup!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Prime Rib with Vegetables!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Vegetable Beef Soup!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Chicken À La King!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Chicken Corn Chowder!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Beef soup!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Chicken with Rice!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Southwestern Chicken!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Split Pea with Ham!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: New England Clam Chowder!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Seafood Chowder!

Campbell’s Chunky Soup: Chicken Noodle Soup!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Chicken Vegetable Pot Pie!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Alehouse Shepherd’s Pie!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Smoking Bacon Cheese Sliders!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: BBQ Chipotle Sirloin Burger!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Meatball-Busting Sausage Rigatoni!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Blazing Roadhouse Chili-Style Soup!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Pepper Steak with Potato!

Campbell’s Pub-Inspired Chunky Soup: Chicken Sausage Gumbo!

Campbell’s light cream of mushroom soup!

Campbell’s regular cream of mushroom soup!

Sapporo Ichiban miso ramen instant noodles!

Doll spicy pork tonkotsu instant noodles!

Dawn Ultra Platinum Power Oxi dish detergent with an invigorating berry scent!

Dawn Ultra Olay lavender silk dish detergent!

Ronzoni Five-Cheese pasta sauce: ricotta, Provolone, Parmesan, Asiago, and Pecorino Romano!

Lindt white chocolate truffles!

Mann’s Nourish Bowls: Monterey Risotto! Butternut squash, kale, kohlrabi, brown rice, creamy roasted garlic sauce!

Mann’s Nourish Bowls: Smokehouse Brussels! Brussels sprouts, kohlrabi, kale, brown rice, and smoky sweet glaze!

Mann’s Nourish Bowls: Sesame Sriracha! Broccoli, kohlrabi, cabbage, carrots, snap peas, brown rice, and sesame sriracha sauce!

Mann’s Nourish Bowls: Southwest Chipotle! Cauliflower, kale, kohlrabi, sweet potatoes, black bean and chipotle corn salsa, plus shredded cheddar cheese!

Mann’s Nourish Bowls: Cauli-Rice Curry! Chopped cauliflower, green chickpeas, and curry sauce!

So Nice almond milk: Original Organic, Unsweetened Organic Original, Coconut Organic Unsweetened!