Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Apr
29

Cat: Let me just clean off my bitch-slapper, then we can get down to business.

It’s very dear to me, the issue of gay marriage. Or, as I like to call it: “marriage.” You know, because I had lunch this afternoon, not gay lunch. I parked my car; I didn’t gay park it. – Liz Feldman

That awkward moment when someone asks what’s wrong, and they’re the problem…

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing…

Vancouver “what we think we do” meme!

Apr
28

I may be crazy… but crazy is better than stupid!

When Pantera is on, you should do the following: Shut up, listen, and get FUCKING HOSTILE!

Joelle Rollo-Koster?!

Dr. Ken Hurt is a dentist?!

Dumas and McPhail?! Definitely not as funny if you pronounce Dumas the French way…

Apr
27

AskReddit Mega Lounge!

From Julie: Throwing up happy faces and peeing beer!

From Julie: Ray Samani (raise money!) is the perfect guy to run a fundraiser!

Apr
27

From Michelle S.: Officer Bathroom and Toilet Police in North Carolina: To protect and wipe! Flushing out crime since 2016…

The FINAL FANTASY V ADVANCE party gets to explore the Castle of Walse, and they come across this scholar: “Shiva was sealed up by the crystal’s pure water. But don’t take MY word for it – take a look, it’s in this book!” What an epic reference to READING RAINBOW!

James Cumming was the architect for Gay’s Arcade?!

Apr
26

I left for Harmony’s at 4:15 because she wanted time to go to the park before dinner, and stopped by the Kam Do Bakery to get a BBQ pork bun to eat on the train for snack purposes. Then I just managed to get a 3 bus (I’d have had to wait for nearly half an hour otherwise), and went to the house to find a note on the door saying they’d gone to the nearby park on Sophia (with directions), so I went there to immediately help Hiero up the slide for a while. I told Harmony that there had been delays on the bus because of someone in a wheelchair getting on AND off before I had to get off the bus, which is true. Both Ayler and Hiero held my hand while going up the slide at slightly different times, and Hiero noticed planes in the sky. When we were walking home, Ayler didn’t want to hold my hand; we insisted on it, then he fell down anyway before the kids wanted to blow seeds from dandelions before going into the house.

We discussed toy trains, blocks, mangoes, the Canucks stuffed monkeys with Velcro that Eric had given them yesterday at church (they were excited to wear them!), small groups, Ayler’s wisdom of “Poop sometimes hurts! Mushrooms help! CHOY [vegetables] help!” (Harmony’s sure he says it to his friends at preschool), Hiero thinking that I have a baby inside me (wrong aunt – that would be Holly), Hiero sitting on my lap while playing with a light-up toy, pasta, bok choy, eggs, udon, hugging people, coconut water (I still don’t like it), the Beatles song OCTOPUS GARDEN, falling down, enoki mushrooms, candy, grapes, tofu blocks, and Ayler climbing on me to steal my pen from my pocket. I told him that it wasn’t funny, but he was laughing anyway. “Steal Auntie pen! No pick nose! No problem!” At least the kids still seem affectionate towards me sometimes! I got home at 9 on a 407, no thanks to a couple of strollers getting on at Brighouse and then getting off before I did!

Jonathan Law is a lawyer?!

Joseph Moron?!

If my Safeway was closed because of a fire, I would simply go somewhere else for whatever I wanted to buy, not go home and post entitled whining on Facebook!

Apr
26

Teachers of Reddit, what’s the “weirdest” child name you’ve come across?

From Newfiebangaa: Reno in FINAL FANTASY 7 says, “I can’t have you do that. No one GET in the way of Reno and the Turks…”

You know how people buy drinks for girls in bars? Why can’t people do that in bookstores? Like if I’m looking at a novel in Barnes & Noble, and some person walks up to me and strikes up a conversation and offers to buy the book for me, there is a lot better chance of that working out in their favor. I’m going to reblog this until it’s a cultural norm.

Apr
25

I had a dream where the VCEFC was meeting in an auditorium, and I sat in the row ahead of Erin and others. Then I noticed what was actually said in the green bulletin: Billy’s son Benjamin had died in a car accident, and then there was a paragraph detailing how certain ex-members were terrible. “Why did Pastor John leave the church? Why did Jesse Chan decide to go a further distance to worship at the Port Coquitlam EFC? Why did Stephanie and Leslie leave when their family is so well-known?!” I showed this to my sister, and we had the simultaneous reaction of “Why would you be so butthurt about this?!”

Although my sister wasn’t a member anymore, she’d been recruited by Nathan to help out with the singing. She yelled that Jessica Leung needed a microphone. Lisa came running in through the back because she had a question about baby Fraser, then almost everyone mistook an old Auntie Cathy for Pastor John, who had come back to investigate that paragraph in the green bulletin. Then I was going to go to a party at Daniel’s later on, but I judged that the increasing snow outside made that a bad idea, so I cancelled on him. What the heck, subconscious?!

When I got up, Steph had suggested getting together next Thursday, May 5. Sounds good to me! Then I decided that it was time to shower and do laundry.

From Rock 101: A see-through glass toilet! WHY?!

Daniel Noody is a school bus driver who was arrested for exposing himself?!

Apr
24

Steph emailed me to say that I could come over on Monday or Wednesday to see Fraser, then later changed her mind since she has a bunch of massage and chiropractic appointments this week because of her back. Next week is also fine by me! She’d also emailed us photos of Fraser enjoying the sun and congee!

Dragon Queen: “I’m the Dragon Queen… A messenger from God.”

The DRAGON QUEST III party checks out the Dragon Queen’s egg, and a baby dragon can be felt moving inside…

The DRAGON QUEST III party is inside a cave (the Pachisi track inside the Kol well), and attempts to return to a town. “FLAMSTER’s head bounced off the ceiling!”

I am a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Apr
24

Overworked Brooklyn cop attempts to reason with hurricane!

Theafrican Hawkins?!

Dick Hyman?!

Chico Salmon?!

Apr
24

FindBar Tweak: I just found this one yesterday. Now when I’m looking for something in a Firefox page, I can figure out exactly how many of them there are, and they’re automatically highlighted!

From Midge and Grammarly: “MAGIC: THE GATHERING? Wow… you’re really letting your nerd flag fly, eh?” “Actually, it’s a GEEK flag. Nerds are more academically inclined, while we geeks are just super-passionate about our hobbies.” “I see. And the people who know and care about this difference are called…?” “I believe DORK is the preferred nomenclature.” This reminds me of the time on 25 August 2014 when Mike said that I couldn’t call him a DORK because it means “whale penis.” Whatever!

From Julie: When you’re on your period, and you sneeze or cough! This seems like a great way to get some “color,” but I wouldn’t recommend it.😛

Sophie Wolfman?!

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