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Archive for the ‘news’ Category

Whoopee cushion filled with gravy, Waldrop sextuplets and twins, feeling used

January 15, 2018

From Gotta Lil Captain In Ya? and Pete: A Whoopee cushion filled with gravy adds a hilarious new dimension to a rather tiresome practical joke. From Reddit and r/namenerds on December 14, 2017: The Waldrop sextuplets and twins from Alabama, plus an older brother! Saylor Briggs, Bridge Ryder, and Wales Tucker are the older siblings. […]

Somer Thompson?! SUMMER is the only acceptable spelling for that one, people!

January 14, 2018

The Canucks played the Minnesota Wild at 5 today; the game went into overtime, and it was a 3-2 Vancouver win courtesy of Brandon Sutter in his first game back! From Nancy Grace: Somer Thompson?! SUMMER is an acceptable spelling. “Somer” just sounds like a last name!

Mark Reckless?! / Last words: Three spelling mistakes in a death sentence!

January 8, 2018

From the OLD FAITHFUL Bathroom Reader #30: Mark Reckless is a politician in the UK?! From Sara H. and Twitter: “I see that you have made 3 spelling mistakes.” – Last words of Marquis de Favras after reading his death sentence before being hanged in 1790.

Och aye! The POO! / Cute ball emoji toilet paper holder! / Toilet HARD TIMES!

January 8, 2018

From Diane: Scottish bride’s “och aye, the poo!” Someone needs to learn how to wipe his ass properly! From Julie M. and Wish: Cute ball emoji toilet paper holder! Toilet artwork: HARD TIMES!

Jawn Jang?! / Oscar Dansk and Paul Zwambag?! / Pregnant smoker and jackhammers?!

January 5, 2018

From Reddit: Around here, Sportsnet 650 has an announcer named JAWN JANG?! The Vegas Golden Knights have a goalie named Oscar Dansk, JUST LIKE THE ROYAL DANSK COOKIES! I also like the writer’s name: Paul ZWAMBAG! That sounds somehow badass! From THE ROANOKE TIMES in September 2004: Mellisa Williamson, 35, a Bulitt Avenue resident, worries […]

Circumcision obituary / Mt. Oriander in Summer / Emerald Pellot and Celem?!

January 3, 2018

Harmony emailed the family about Hiero’s birthday party later this month on the 21st at noon – at least I know where Pizzeria Barbarella IS, and it doesn’t conflict with the hockey game later that evening or anything! From Oddee: Reading this obituary, I don’t want to know that Chan Holcombe’s dad circumcised him with […]

Thou art surely missing thy brain! Dragonlord’s grandson! / Curtisha Morning?!

December 31, 2017

In DRAGON WARRIOR II, the party goes to Charlock Castle and meets the Dragonlord’s grandson. He offers them some advice if they will defeat Hargon, the arch-nemesis of the game. If the player says NO, this is his response: “Thou art surely missing thy brain. But it is up to thee.” Curtisha Morning?!

Lindsay Lohand! Lindsay Hihand! / Butch Otter?! / Walking in the woods!

December 27, 2017

I discovered redrum symptoms today – UGH! Mom wanted to drop by this afternoon with the locking containers, toilet paper, and Kleenex that she’d forgotten, so I said she could do so just to get it out of the way. She dropped by about an hour earlier than I was expecting, at 12:35 or so. […]

Scott Darling?! / Stylez G. White?! / Are you dating a cat? / Vlad the Impala!

December 22, 2017

From Reddit: Scott Darling?! From The Mirror: Stylez G. White plays football?! From Oddee: Are you dating a cat? Here’s a handy flow chart! From Julie M. and Reddit: Vlad the Impala license plate from California!

Boo Weekley, Jean Condom, Matt Haryasz, Muggsy Bogues, Precious McKenzie

December 21, 2017

The Canucks played San Jose at 7:30 tonight. Gaunce scored his first goal in 94 games! The game went to overtime, and we lost 5-4. From The Mirror: Boo Weekley played golf?! So did he get booed weekly? From The Mirror: Jean Condom was a rugby player?! From The Mirror: Matt Haryasz is a basketball […]