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Archive for the ‘blogs’ Category

Sureal Sparx?! / My being an asshole today / SOUTH PARK and outraged millennials

September 13, 2019

It’s the Mid-Autumn Festival 2019 and Friday the 13th today! 9/13/19 is also a palindrome date! Since Luke and Flaps were talking in Spanish in sober Discord, I decided to ask them to do Mom’s Spanish translation if she ever forwarded it to me! If it’s so urgent, she should have forwarded it earlier today, […]

Zion Williamson?! / Tamron Hall and baby Moses?! / Nicolas Cage as a cat

September 4, 2019

Hester came by at 12:20, greeting me with “You’re home!” when I answered the door. No shit, lady! She inspected the toilet tank personally like she said she would, while I spent five more minutes trying to explain the problem to her in very simple English. Eventually, she agreed that she would replace the flapper, […]

Tajuana’s daughters formed a gang?! / Atreus, Rhihanan, Pye, and Denyse Tontz?!

April 28, 2019

A couple days ago, Alice said she’d send me DOES IT FART?: THE DEFINITIVE FIELD GUIDE TO ANIMAL FLATULENCE (Nick Caruso, Dani Rabaiotti) in the mail for free. I was expecting it to arrive on May 2, but I was surprised when I got a “missed call” today because the phone beeped at me at […]

Greg McKegg?! / Mehboob Hassan?! / SHORT-TERM VISUAL INFORMATION FORGETTING?!

March 24, 2019

The Canucks played Columbus at 7 tonight, and lost 5-0 for a dubious record of ten shutouts this season so far, which is the most in the NHL. From The Blog of Funny Names: Greg McKegg?! Bonus: He wore 69 for the Toronto Maple Leafs! From Quotes, Fun, and Sarcasm: Mehboob Hassan?! From my Endlessly […]

Cataract consultation?! / Crystal Patriarche?! / Fuk Yu?!

July 26, 2018

After COFFEE TIME, Barry picked me up at 8:30 AM for my 9:15 AM cataract consultation on Burrard with Dr. Wise. The eye exam was okay, but now I have to go in for an eye ultrasound on September 21! Thank goodness that and September payday are BEFORE Barry goes on holiday. I got him […]

Dr. Taekwondo Byrd?! / Keshanna, Ariah’Lynn, Kha’Meela, Tashawn, and Kelonie?!

June 30, 2018

I’ve decided to go with Google Docs for my WordPress Drafts, as it autosaves my editing on the go to Google Drive. Much better than Notepad – thanks, Classy! I’m also indifferent towards Jimmy because of his rage and non-communication issues. Sounds very familiar! Dr. Taekwondo Byrd?! From Julie: Keshanna?! From Julie: Ariah’Lynn?! From Julie: […]

St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland! / Creepy Easter Bunny 28!

March 17, 2018

Jackie M. added me to Facebook via Discord and Youtube, so YAY FOR THAT! I went to London Drugs at 1:30 on a 407 to get a TouchTop garbage can for my living room, on-sale store brand peanut butter, an Easter card and emoji stickers for Fraser and Henry, Alter Eco chocolate bars so I […]

Toilet Trouble toy! / Shitbit! / 40,000 Americans injured by toilets each year!

November 14, 2017

Julie M. saw this Toilet Trouble toy at Walmart once! From my ex-friend Daniel M. and Gomer Blog: SHITBIT! From Wesley: 40,000 Americans are injured by toilets every year. PADDED BATHROOM AND CARPETED FLOOR!

Being trans is not an intersection! / Misgendering people is NOT violence!

June 30, 2017

Since I was up at 8:20 AM, it was COFFEE TIME BY DEFAULT! Later, Lucas thought that I was bullying Maddie because I’ve taken to using the word “sriracha” around her since her Discord screen name is “Maddie the Jirachi.” Not my fault that they sound similar! They’re both special snowflake teenagers! So then he […]

Indonesian spice levels! / Cock Zero! / God Rickrolling you! / Why am I here?

June 24, 2017

Since I woke up at 8 AM, it was COFFEE TIME BY DEFAULT! Alec Ferrell tried adding me to Facebook – DENIED! From Reddit: The spice chart at an Indonesian restaurant in Jayakarta! From Engrish.com and Library of Most Controversial Files: Cock, Cock Zero, and Cock Light are all sold at this 7-11! God is […]