Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Jul
27

I went out to London Drugs today to buy replacement store brand body lotion (no fragrance), on-sale Kiwa vegetable chips (plantain / parsnip / cassava / sweet potato / beetroot / yuca), 100 white Tic-Tacs for home, 500mL of milk which expires on Sept. 22, and two store brand reusable bags. At home, I decided not to give the Russell Stover truffles to Lisa anymore. Too late, I realized that I could have given it to Chinese Eric instead for HIS birthday! Oh well, I’ll just go out again sometime and get another box! I was out and back within 40 minutes, which is pretty good for a Sunday!

Jul
26

Mike and I discussed my crying, his back being red from the car door, Vania being fancy-looking, Russell Peters and his Indian accent, Youtube videos, throwing a whole bunch of stuff out (including cards and boxes), how broken glass should be stored inside paper, Micah’s apple pie, Krista’s vague / weird Facebook posts, the Lonsdale Quay, giving out all your personal information (phone numbers / Social Security Number / Facebook passwords) while you’re being pranked, hacking Safeway’s system, managers, Charlie horses, 1205, rotini, and pasta sauce. We also talked about his taking a shower, his wanting to be reincarnated as a Shiba Inu (Adam Remsen once wanted to be reincarnated as his dog…), Shiba Inu petting zoos, red Shiba Inu dogs with red-and-white feet (or “socks”), various Target / Walmart / Hasaad Market / Mark Knopfler / Phone Losers of America / Auto Parts / Blackout’s Box / MOJO in the Morning prank calls, doing dishes, brushing teeth, Mom being “too busy” to bring things over herself, potential lawsuits, and legalities.

Conversed about appeasing HER ego, Mom being insistent about getting her keys (“come over yourself and get it!”), yeast extract jokingly causing a yeast infection, the bath mat not sticking as well after he moved it from blocking the drain (which IS something I should know), taking the plastic containers out to the car, putting boxes on high shelves so they won’t take up the space I actually use (he can think of listing them on Craiglist or eBay later), turning on the lava lamp, taking one of the huge honey ginseng green tea drinks home (695mL for 99 cents?!), the two Invicta bags which he can have since MOM gave them to me (I’ll get more London Drugs bags instead), Mom KNOWING that the coffeepot was broken (no glass shards in the bag!), and thanking him for stuff before he left to go clean up prior to Monday’s fire inspection. He said he’ll support me no matter how I choose to deal with the email, so that’s good. I just don’t want to think about it right now…

Lucas and Boney checking out Mayor Pusher’s car in Tazmily Village: “It’s polished and sparkling.”

Jul
26

In an effort for a NEW start to my weekend, I had ribeye steak / borscht / hot milk tea / spaghetti at The One CafĂ©, then went to the store for a huge container of margarine. Came back with that, on-sale Sidekicks (Tomato Alfredo x2 / Garlic Butter with Lemon x2), on-sale Brookside chocolates ($2 – mango with mangosteen), HOT Old El Paso taco seasoning x5 (which was RIGHT NEXT TO the MILD stuff that I bought last time – and only ten cents more per package!), on-sale red licorice Nibs (99 cents!), and on-sale honey ginseng green tea drinks (99 cents!) x2. Somehow, I got charged for 11 bags when I only used two?! At least I was out and back within an hour (got home at 7:50) – yay for efficiency, even though I just missed the bus going there! Mike and I can have one drink each, I think! At 8:30, Mike wondered if I just wanted to get the townhouse stuff over with. Sure, since it was still light out! I still had the key, even if it would have been easier for the parents to transport the stuff to me! I don’t care how “busy” they thought they were!

Contents of the 50-litre container: a Corningware dish, an orange non-stick wok (with lid!) with garbage paper inside, an OBVIOUSLY BROKEN GLASS COFFEEPOT, a black apron, a very small pot with no lid, a useless shallow container, black socks with raised white dog prints on them, a blue rag cloth, useless comment cards from MCS Industries, three thin white gloves (not four!), a round plastic container with lid, tan pantyhose, white panties, grey-brown shorts, a new Recollections Memory box, a brown box, and a useless black inter-office envelope.

Geoff E. added me to Facebook, which is fine. Mike and I discussed wearing my shirt inside-out (so I adjusted it in the townhouse complex parking lot!), writing a sarcastic thank-you letter for the broken glass coffeepot, a car’s transmission, scary driving, SOUTH PARK episodes on queefing / fish sticks / space cash / piracy in Somalia / GHOST HUNTERS / Butters being a pimp / Whale Whores, trying the spicy taco seasoning on some macaroni and cheese, the smoking stove element, gin and tonics with lime, fish and chips, tossing salad, email carbon copies, smartness, playing, and his preferring black licorice before sleeping.

CHRONO TRIGGER sprites!

Jul
25

Mike got up at noon, and we talked about a “poop chute,” the spicy beef noodles, getting pregnant from a blowjob, the woman who had a sex toy inside her for ten years, the Indian boy who had 232 teeth removed from his mouth because of a rare medical condition and tumor, Melissa paying 5000-6000 yen ($50-$60) for a huge box of Kit-Kats (she thinks shipping was free since the order was over 3000 yen?), the Indian Waxing Salon Prank, Al Pacino prank calls, and my mom being a two-faced bitch over email! “You should appreciate going to our old house multiple times to pick up bags and boxes of random crap! It’s easier than our going to the thrift store a few blocks away and dumping it there!” He let me cry, although he said that it was “just a little snark,” so we talked about that. I told him to demonize her instead. “Like she doesn’t think that you’d show me the email even if she didn’t send it to me?! What goes through her head?!” I have NO IDEA. He did take a shower while he was here, too.

Nathan dropped by at 2:30 so he could give me his and Ciel’s wedding invitation; in turn, he got his birthday card and Russell Stover’s assorted milk chocolate! Very soon after that, Mike had to go back home and do some things, but he said that we could still get the townhouse stuff over with tonight. That’s fair enough. I need a distraction! Mike knows that he needs to pay me 75 cents, but didn’t have enough coins. That’s all right!


You Are a Blue Piggy Bank

You are excellent at stretching money, and you consider yourself a smart shopper. You are savvy.
You save naturally because you don’t need a lot to live off of. You find good deals, and make use of what you already own.

Because you are a wise consumer, you also may be a wise investor – especially when it comes to retail stocks.
You know a good value when you see it, and you are ready to jump on a true bargain.

EARTHBOUND characters!

Jul
25

I paid Michael back and then put all the O Tasty dumplings, the Lion and Globe peanut oil, Laoganma chili oil, Kimlan soy sauce, Kimlan yellow rice vinegar, and the Jinye spicy beef noodles (on sale!) away before Mike started watching JON STEWART. Then I showed him Melissa’s Facebook Kit Kat album from Japan: orange, banana, green tea, peanut butter, and LOTS MORE! OVER 100 FLAVORS! We discussed my being tired, sex, my “never” answering the phone, my own sore throat, the receipt, taking the price of his own rice vinegar away from my total, T&T protecting the glass bottles with newspapers to reduce the “clang,” and taking time to get used to things. Also talked about his going to Bellingham on the 30th at 9 AM (go by yourself?), his fixing this edition of the “no sound on Youtube” issue (Google disabled Youtube Centre since it wasn’t sold in the web store AND you could download videos), having to copy and paste every single line of code himself, birth control, refilling the sugar (finding tape at his place!) and Coffeemate, and his wanting a Shiba Inu. Of course he ended up sleeping on the couch, but that was fine by me.

KAIZO MARIO: The Star Road!

Jul
24

Adam L. sent me some Facebook messages since he hadn’t seen me at church in a while! It turns out that since I’m a friend he can trust, he wants me to give him some value and referrals because he’s running for a work promotion. I’m no good at that anyway, but thanked him for the trust and friendship! Then Mike called from Osaka Supermarket at 9:30. We spent about half an hour talking about Jazmin, Big Crazy, spicy beef noodles, some prices making no sense, Nissin noodles, cute little bottles of Lion and Globe peanut oil (saves me from going to City Fresh to look for the same thing), matching bottles of oils which he’d seen before, crowded conditions, Kokuho Rose rice, WANG DERM, $70 rice bags, “stripper music” on the radio, and his talking like a redneck.

We also discussed the “no sound on Youtube” issue having to do with the Flash player and HTML5 player, chili oil, (Chili Crisp?), going to Fatty Hi Restaurant with his dad tonight for dinner (their prices = at least $15 for anything?! EXPENSIVE!), his driving Richard’s Porsche today (which was scary!), green tea Kit Kats (I should show him Melissa’s Facebook Kit Kat album!), a good kind of ice cream which he’d had in Japan (but it’s pricey here – no squeezing!), nothing being new here, Lee Kum Kee sriracha, soy sauce, and Arroy-D curry sauce. Conversed about Kimlan yellow rice vinegar, his refilling any soy sauce bottles I had, a deal for three 567g packs of dumplings for $10.99 ([JUMBO] pork / leek / chicken / vegetable), onions, prices, LOTS of brands for everything (not just GLICO curry!), and ladies screaming in Cantonese. Yes, he did leave his own soy sauce and wasabi to chill in my fridge, but he can pick those up when he comes to drop everything off!

Edit: Mike came by at 11:10 to drop stuff off, saying he’d called. Meh!

Jul
24

Mike and I discussed the macaroni and cheese, IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, MARIO games, KING OF THE HILL, dehydrated onion being in the Casa Fiesta taco seasoning, tape, my “hypocrisy” when it came to onions, bedtime at 2:15 AM, weird dreams, Seattle, Langley, Krista, Wreck Beach, “threats,” getting up at 1:35, old ZELDA commercials, Facebook drama involving Krista feeding a troll (just a kid wearing a “lady killer” T-shirt with a cute razor on it), and eBay. Then we conversed about peeing, older (Puritan) names like Charity / Temperance / Deliverance / Hope / Faith / Patience, having to clean up for a fire inspection next Monday (he learned about this yesterday at home – he had to go back to do so today), insanity, feminism, and frying dumplings at 3:30 PM. Also talked about Nathan’s wedding date (he had to adjust his calendar!), Thunderf00t, Asian prank calls, (paying to watch) Youtube videos, religion, Satan being almost as powerful as God, black coffee, baking sheets, pure peanut oil (Lion and Globe from City Fresh Market), canola / rapeseed oil, the frying pan, how to fry dumplings (on MEDIUM heat), spattering oil, gas stoves, and safety.

Talked about the water here (not) tasting like chlorine (anymore), peanut butter, tahini, prostitute prank calls, the random dominatrix from last week, Crank Yankers, Translink re-enabling the ability to post on their page, his dad calling and wanting to meet him somewhere TONIGHT (as he always does – can’t be refused!), laughing, and Indian accents. Also discussed his buying me some yellow rice vinegar himself if he was going by Yaohan’s Osaka Market tonight anyway (of course I’d pay him back), ribeye steak, pork chops, lamb dumplings, pork dumplings, surprises while eating, dryness, issues, learning, a weird dream about a bus ticket and transit police, his needing to take a shower, lethargy, pills, interest, doing the dishes, Mom telling us about a 50L container at the townhouse, and opening windows before he left at 6:15. It’s been a good few days, as usual!

DRAGON WARRIOR IV map!

Red Fiery Dragon!

Jul
24

Nathan both emailed me and sent me a Facebook message, wondering whether I’d be home tomorrow either at 11 or 1 so he could give me his wedding invitation. Hey, he knows me – I prefer the “free and open” scheduling model, and I’ll definitely be home then! At least then I can also give him his birthday card and Russell Stover’s assorted milk chocolate! He says that he randomly saw the elusive Desmond on Greek Day on the West End, so he / Eric / Ciel managed to meet up with Desmond for Nathan’s birthday after a decade!


You Are Chervil

You have a rare personality, and people sometimes don’t know what to do with you. You are a bit mysterious.
You are somewhat exotic and unknown to those around you, even if they spend a lot of time with you. You don’t open up to just anyone.

You are lovely, beautiful, and unique. You tend to gravitate toward things that are special and foods that are gourmet.
You are quite sensitive, and you get overwhelmed easily. You are a bit more subtle with how you approach life.

Jul
24

Mike and I discussed having the extra creamy macaroni and cheese on its own, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, being low on margarine, his weird dream featuring aliens and stars, his going out to pick something up (but being back later), the rainy weather, getting his umbrella from home, his car, and “all or nothing” types of deals resulting in some crap. He got back at midnight, wondering why I didn’t either answer my phone or call to see where the heck he was. First, I was sleeping at 11:30 because of some gin and tonic. Second, I wasn’t really worried anyway. Turns out I also missed a call from Chinese Eric, but I hope I can return it later on!

We talked about how I’d sleep afterwards (I don’t know!), JON STEWART, Congress and the law, pills, the release of Windows 9, his hate for Microsoft, Windows kernels, Krista overanalyzing things again (a one-liner on happiness is not a statement on memes and culture!), and Sarah Palin being caught speeding. Also conversed about Sam Adams, Julia Stiles, George Takei (the cougar?) and his husband Brad Altman, THE CLEVELAND SHOW “Die Semi-Hard” episode which we’d seen before, (un)bending pins on microchips, commercials making him hungry, Burlington stores, Stella H., Indonesian names, IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, my not buying more Kimlan rice vinegar since I was nowhere near Yaohan, and having more macaroni and cheese.

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS: “FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!”

Jul
23

I got up after Mike did, but that’s okay. We discussed leaving a sinkful of dishes so it couldn’t be filled up with detergent, my not having an umbrella around here, only General Tso’s chicken calling for white vinegar in the Chinese dishes, rice vinegar, using the white vinegar in some dumpling sauce, and saving the rest of his seaweed for something else more expensive than cucumber. Also talked about getting plastic wrap at the dollar store (I’d be out anyways – it didn’t matter!), suffocation under the blankets, smartness in murder and DNA (with fingerprints and hair), Youtube videos on how to roll cucumber sushi, my being hangry since HE got to eat HIS sushi mistakes, A&W customer focus groups being stupid and assuming one-third was less than one-quarter, the NEW YORK TIMES, Snopes, Wikipedia, fact-checking being like detective work, and Ojou Ringlets on TV Tropes.

He pretended to be a Shiba Inu dog (better than “got size!” and pretending to be a douchebag) right before I left to go run errands, which cost me a minute. Would have been nice not to run for the bus in the drizzling rain! I got Glad plastic wrap, on-sale Russell Stover truffles for Lisa’s birthday present (NOW they’re on sale?!), a pack of 100 index cards, a box of 100 white Tic-Tacs for my purse, six pairs of black Secret ankle socks (so much easier!), and tape x4. After I did my banking, it was time to go home (and almost have a pee-scare in the process…) so I could be responsible and pay my Shaw bill. Then we talked about the MILD Casa Fiesta taco seasoning / the MEDIUM Ortega taco seasoning, the Duncan Hills coffee jingle, affectionate kisses, extra creamy ItalPasta, text messages, the bubonic plague, Translink deleting the “Posts By Others” function on their Facebook page, the news, losing a billion dollars, his friend Sherry apparently being pregnant and giving birth at age 52 (but it’s the granddaughter and NOT in the hospital bed), flipping out, and Kamloops flooding.

SUPER MARIO characters and turtles and bullets, oh my!

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