Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Jul
14

Today is Bastille Day!

From Krista: Black dragon breathing fire!

The FINAL FANTASY V Spoof Version 1.01 title screen!

From Reddit: Kamala Harris?! Makes me think of camels!

Jul
13

Today is National French Fry Day!

From Lynne Jamison: I may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m someone’s double vodka.

My ex-friend Veronica Hudon, whom I met through the Blood Games in 2008!

At last! A grammatically-correct LOLcat! I am in your forum… posting in a grammatically accurate manner.

Jul
12

I went out at 5:10 on a 407 to London Drugs for a NEW Sterilite Touch-Top kitchen garbage can since the old stainless steel garbage can (February 13, 2015) wouldn’t open (even though I’d just opened it to take the garbage bag OUT…), a Modella Fashion Forever bag (from $16.99 down to $5!), and a NEW Egyptian Cotton bath towel to replace the one which the delivery guys used to wipe the back of the fridge, then left on the bush outside the apartment complex (?!) – then I got home at 5:40. YAY FOR BUS EFFICIENCY AND BEING HOME IN HALF AN HOUR!

New Moffat Appliances fridge and freezer: MPE12FGKALWW!

Getting all 120 stars in SUPER MARIO 64 gets you this Yoshi dialogue: “Mario!!! IT THAT really you? It has been so long since our last adventure!”

A black Sterilite 28L TouchTop wastebasket!

Dark blue Egyptian cotton towels!

Jul
12

I discovered redrum today… ugh! Then Hester, her husband Ni, and two strong delivery guys dropped by at 1:45 with my BRAND NEW FRIDGE AND FREEZER from Moffat Applicances! That replaced my very old White-Westinghouse fridge and freezer from the 80s, which finally conked out in mid-May or mid-June. I wasn’t impressed when Hester called me “N-G,” and when the guys left my blue towel (which they used to wipe the back of the old fridge) on the bush outside the front door. I was going to throw it out anyway, but REALLY? At least I was able to save most of my fridge magnets AND the “peeing in toilet” decal from Granville Island!

From Janina and Team Crazy: I’m not a tomboy, but I’m not a girly girl, either. Like, I wanna get my nails done, but then again, I wanna set shit on fire.

From Engrish.com and Library of Most Controversial Files: Meat-fried cat ear! Fries pulls out the rotten child!

From Julie and JUDGE JUDY: Shameka Wilson?!

From Laid-Back Corner and Fuck Sensitivity: Cunt moon!

Jul
11

Hester dropped by at 8:25 (after being VERY impatient when I didn’t answer her knocking in two seconds) to inform me how lucky I was: I’m getting a new fridge / freezer tomorrow! She told her supervisors about it, and it took less than a week! I should have told her about it in May when I noticed something, but I didn’t think it was great. Then I took a shower later on.

My ex-friend Marko Velimir Kobak, who’s a Leafs fan!

Nail Railovich Yakupov?! I think the patronymic is cool enough, though.

Bartz, Lenna, Galuf, and Faris go to the town of Tule in FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF. Being a pirate, Faris ditches the party in order to go drinking in the pub. Everyone else goes to the pub after doing some exploring and shopping. They go upstairs to find Faris asleep in a room. Bartz and Galuf go in separately, and then fall in love with Faris. who comes out and says: “What’s with the hearts? Come on, guys, Lenna isn’t THAT cute!”

Bartz, Lenna, Galuf, and Faris go to the town of Tule in FINAL FANTASY V SPOOF. Being a pirate, Faris ditches the party in order to go drinking in the pub. Everyone else goes to the pub after doing some exploring and shopping. They go upstairs to find Faris asleep in a room. Bartz and Galuf go in separately, and then fall in love with Faris. Lenna then says, “I think these hearts are for you, Faris.”

Jul
11

I woke up at 8 AM today, so it was COFFEE TIME BY DEFAULT!

From Janina: Baby wombats look like old kung-fu masters…

In FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS, Sabin / Shadow / Cyan / the Ghost are on the Phantom Train. They get to the dining car and decide to have something to eat. Sabin says, “Food! Chop! Let’s go slop the hogs!”

From Reddit: A black girl on MTV’s ARE YOU THE ONE? is named TYRANNY Todd?!

Jul
10

I went out to the Bay at 3:15 on a 407 for a new 3-pack of Jockey underwear in size 9 (last bought on November 15, 2016) since I needed some partly because of the other day. Thank goodness for extra money in my bank account! Then I went to London Drugs to get Tasty Bite basmati rice and some Arroy-D green curry to go with it, bulk Always pads, 400 index cards, on-sale Guacachips, on-sale Salsitas chips, NEW on-sale Paqui tortilla chips in Grilled Habanero / Cool Salsa Verde flavors, and an on-sale replacement $2 dark blue washcloth. I was surprised when I got home at only 4:25 on another 407!

NEW Paqui tortilla chips: Grilled Habanero!

NEW Paqui tortilla chips: Cool Salsa Verde!

Bartz, Lenna, Faris, and Galuf finally get to Bal Castle from the Forest of Moore thanks to Krile’s wind drake. The first three are very surprised to learn that Galuf is actually a king! Bartz: “Eh? I thought you were just some crazy old man – you never said anything about being a king!”

Bartz: “Just kidding! I’d just better mind my P’s and Q’s around you… King Galuf.”

Galuf: “Listen up – before you knew me as a king, you knew me as a friend. Just “Galuf” is fine.”

Bartz: “Understood, Just Galuf!”

Galuf: “… Don’t push it, kid. Here in Bal, bad jokes like that will get you PUNished…”

Jul
09

From Candy: The (Hard Knock) Life of a Facebook Photo! Brought to you by Pixable!

How did you take the picture? With a film camera: What a hipster. Ha! Now you have to get it developed! Don’t get it digital: You can’t tag people on prints! Get it digital: It’s a 21st century thing. Ask somebody about it! LAPTOP!

How did you take the photo: With a digital camera: Do you even know where your cable is? Didn’t find it yet. #FAIL

Do you even know where your cable is? FOUND IT! LAPTOP! Does the picture need to be edited? YES! Use (and abuse) the iPhoto enhance feature. Vignette Effect it too, if you’re fancy like that.

Does the picture need to be edited? NO. Sure?

Does the picture need to be edited? Don’t know how. (?) :/ Haha, guess you’re stuck with red-eye!

How did you take the picture? With a phone! Did you hipstamatic / Instagram it? YES! Revel in how original and artistic you are. NO.

How did you take the picture: With an iPad. Do you realize how RIDICULOUS you look? YES! NO. Either way, you don’t care, because you know everyone is jealous you have an iPad 2.

Upload Photos to Facebook! Insert a funny / witty caption and tag everybody: yourself and friends! The self-tagging analysis process: You look AWESOME. PROFILE PIC! You look okay. Tag yourself. You look TERRIBLE. DELETE!

Upload Photos to Facebook! The friend-tagging analysis process: They look better than you! Don’t tag anyone. You all look okay, or they look TERRIBLE: Tag everyone!

Get likes!

Get a notification saying someone profiled your picture, Realize he or she cropped you out. Tag your hand as evidence of your presence. Consider defriending him or her… leave a snarky comment instead.

Get a notification saying someone profiled your picture. You’re in it! LIKE it!

Immediately, half the people untag themselves. (seriously, are they ever not on Facebook?)

Get comments: “Ew! Gross! Take this down. NOW!” Take it down. 😦 End up with an album half the size you started with. Leave it anyway. Lose a friend, but enjoy everyone else’s appreciation!

Get comments: “Awesome pic!” Pat yourself on the back…

And have the picture never be seen again… until one day, someone finds it on a Facebook stalking spree.

Designed by TheLuLab.com

Cody and Corey Manyshots?!

Jul
09

Since I was up at 8 AM, it was COFFEE TIME BY DEFAULT!

Shadow’s first dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde is alone.

Shadow’s first dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Enter Baram, Clyde Arrowny’s accomplice.

Shadow’s first dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram speaks! “Clyde… how could you? I was your partner… You should be here with me…”

Shadow’s first dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “Join me, Clyde…”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram and Clyde are walking away from the scene of another train robbery.

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde says, “Yahoooo! We did it, Clyde!”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde says, “A million gil! What a blast! This is the life!”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “Guess it’s time we start thinking of a name, huh?”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde asks, “A name?”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram answers, “All good bandit duos need a name! I, uh… I sort of have one in mind…”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde says, “Well? Let’s hear it!”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “… The Shadow Bandits! What do you think? Not bad, eh?”

Shadow’s second dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde muses, “The Shadow Bandits, great train robbers of the century…”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde tells Baram, “Open your eyes!”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “How bad is it? … This isn’t m-my blood… is it, Clyde?”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde tells Baram, “Don’t worry! You’re gonna be okay!”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “I’m sorry… I… I let my guard down…”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde tells Baram, “Don’t talk! The town’s just a bit farther…”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “You don’t have to pretend. I know. This is… my blood, isn’t it? I’m done for…”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “Get going! Leave me here. I’d only slow you down.”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde says, “But…!”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram asks, “You wanna get caught?”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Baram says, “But, before you go… Please, finish me off with your knife!”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde asks, “How could you ask me to do something like that…?”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde leaves Baram and says, “I’m sorry…”

Shadow’s third dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Before he dies, Baram says, “Clyde! How could you?!”

Shadow’s fourth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde Arrowny stumbles into Thamasa, badly wounded. Interceptor the dog barks at this stranger.

Shadow’s fourth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: This woman in Thamasa says, “Hey… Hey, are you all right?”

Shadow’s fourth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde asks her, “Where… am I?”

Shadow’s fourth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: The woman answers, “A small village called Tha… sa… Come on now, pull yourself together!” Note: This woman is probably Relm’s mother.

Shadow’s fifth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde is outside his house in Thamasa.

Shadow’s fifth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Interceptor comes out of the house, barking at Clyde.

Shadow’s fifth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde tells Interceptor, “You came to try and stop me… I’m sorry, but I can’t turn back, boy…”

Shadow’s fifth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Clyde tells Interceptor, “Stay here with my daughter… You both deserve to live in peace…”

Shadow’s fifth dream in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Interceptor is now alone in the village, looking at Clyde going away.

If you DON’T save Shadow on the Floating Continent, Relm can have a dream instead in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Relm, Strago, and Interceptor are in Thamasa.

If you DON’T save Shadow on the Floating Continent, Relm can have a dream instead in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Interceptor comes around to bark at Relm.

If you DON’T save Shadow on the Floating Continent, Relm can have a dream instead in FINAL FANTASY VI ADVANCE: Relm asks, “Daddy…? Where’d Daddy go? He’s coming back… isn’t he?” Yes, Clyde Arrowny AKA Shadow the ninja IS Relm’s father! They’re the only two characters who can equip the Memento Ring relic, too!

[/lj-cut]

Differences in the FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS hack

The most major difference between the original FINAL FANTASY VI and FINAL FANTASY VI: THE ETERNAL CRYSTALS is that there is NO fifth dream because Relm isn’t Shadow’s daughter in this one, I guess.

DREAM ONE DIFFERENCE

Baram says, “Clyde… I’m… done for…. F… find me here… Please, Clyde…”

[lj-cut text=”Differences in Dreams 2, 3, and 4!”]DREAM TWO DIFFERENCES

Difference in Shadow’s second dream: Clyde says, “A million Gil! What a blast! I love this!”

Difference in Shadow’s second dream: Baram says, “Guess it’s time to change our name.”

Difference in Shadow’s second dream: Clyde asks, “Our name?” Baram says, “We need something more… appropriate.” Then Baram (TYPO! IT SHOULD BE CLYDE!) says, “Such as…?”

Difference in Shadow’s second dream: Baram says, “… SHADOW! Not bad, huh?”

Difference in Shadow’s second dream: Clyde wonders, “Great train robbers of the century… SHADOW…?”

DREAM THREE DIFFERENCES

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Clyde says, “Open your eyes!” Baram replies, “I’m scared… *hack* *cough*… Is… is this MY blood…?” Clyde reassures him, “You’re gonna be okay!”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “You don’t have to pretend. I know I’ve lost… too much blood.”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “I’ve let you down… I’m sorry…” Clyde answers, “Save your strength. We’re almost to a town.”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “Get going! I’m gonna slow you down.” Clyde answers, “But…!” Baram asks, “You wanna get caught?”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “Before you go… You have to use your knife…”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Clyde exclaims, “WHAT!!!!” Baram says, “Think what they’ll do to me if I get caught.”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “I don’t want to go through that. Do me this favor.”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “Come on, you weakling! Grab a sword and…” Clyde exclaims, “I CAN’T!”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “Are you… shaking? I can’t believe it! You’re acting like a coward!”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Clyde is walking away from Baram. Baram exclaims, “Clyde!!”

Difference in Shadow’s third dream: Baram says, “Clyde! How DARE you?!” after Shadow has left him alone to die.

Difference in Shadow’s fourth dream: After Shadow stumbles into Mysidia, Interceptor the dog has summoned this woman. She says, “Hey… HEY! Stay with me now!”

DREAM FOUR DIFFERENCES

Difference in Shadow’s fourth dream: Clyde asks the woman, “Where… am…?”

Difference in Shadow’s fourth dream: The woman answers Clyde, “A small village called Mysi… Hang in there!”

Jul
08

From Tumblr: “Toxic monogamy culture”? REALLY?! Jealousy is normal, and commitment DOES mean exclusivity! Otherwise, how can you say that you romantically love someone AND are committed to them?!

Error message from Facebook a couple of weeks ago: Bad Request: E. Whatever, Facebook.

These special snowflakes decided not to assume their BABY’S gender, and decided that it would be the first person in BC to get a health card without a gender marker. If I asked a parent whether their baby was a boy or girl, and got the answer “I don’t know yet,” I would side-eye that person really hard. Also, Searyl Atli Doty?!