This poo book is from Your Childhood Ruined: I SHOULD HAVE SHAT BEFORE WE LEFT THE HOUSE INSTEAD OF IN THE CAR… OOPS! 😦
May
12
May
11
DOUBLE COFFEE TIME! I went out at 11:05 AM on a 414 shuttle bus that drove haphazardly (the 401 was “full”) and the Canada Line train to meet Uncle Peter and Auntie Ying at Congee Noodle House for our very belated Chinese New Year 2024 lunch. Of course I had the individual Merci 72% dark chocolate bars, which they thanked me for later. Once Uncle Peter texted me to say they’d be there at 1 PM instead, I went to London Drugs to buy a new Splashee Softee bath mat (replacing the one from March 2022 – I should get another spare on Monday) and on-sale Febreze air fresheners x6 at London Drugs on 525 West Broadway. Linen and Sky, Spring and Renewal, NEW Downy Calm Lavender, Hawaiian Aloha, Bora Bora Waters, and Original with Gain! I encountered a Karen on the 99 B-Line who said that people should move down for two strollers and a wheelchair, WHICH THEY WERE ALREADY DOING! A guy argued BACK to her.
Once I got to Congee Noodle House shortly after 1 PM, we discussed her relatives in town from England, noodles, rice, #9 in Richmond, their massage in Richmond, getting Chrystal out of the house (she doesn’t need MORE friends if she doesn’t want them), Auntie Catherine in West Vancouver, their going to Pastor Glen’s memorial, Dad sending them messages about Pastor Edward (who’s home now apparently), my NOT doing anything this weekend for Mother’s Day, my kindness, and sushi for Chrystal. Auntie Ying’s asshole brother “just happened” to be there at the same time as us, and after he stopped by our table and left, we discussed boundaries and their spending almost all week with him last week. UGH! Got home at 2:50 PM on a 401. Tenebrousoul hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about jokes, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, Mary Poppins, Dick van Dyke, and stromboli.
BBQ duck for lunch at Congee Noodle House with Uncle Peter and Auntie Ying!
Beef tendon and beef brisket noodles with bok choy for lunch at Congee Noodle House with Uncle Peter and Auntie Ying!
Febreze with Downy Infusions Calm Lavender and Vanilla Bean air freshener!
May
10
Imgur online photo album: https://imgur.com/a/IgX0Wif
Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about his brain, dreams, Jeeps, Congee Noodle House, too many emails, Paypal, patience, red pandas, and panda tails. I finally got through to Dr. Ruby’s office at 9:30 AM this morning and was immediately put on hold, but got an appointment NOT on Wednesday, May 15! It’s on Friday, May 17 at 11:45 AM instead. Friday morning!
After texting Harmony about the kids’ books at 8:15 AM and writing a template in six birthday cards, I went out at 12:20 PM, (encountering a wheelchair delay) to pick up GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK #24 (GARFIELD GOES HOG WILD: HIS 70TH BOOK / GARFIELD: WHAT LEFTOVERS?: HIS 71ST BOOK / GARFIELD LIVING THE SWEET LIFE: HIS 72ND BOOK) and the Chess Strategy for Kids book for my nephews’ double birthday party. Ayler and Beckett will like them, and I almost missed the May 3 email reminding me about the May 11 pickup deadline! But I did get a reminder email at 11:15 AM! I wonder if Indigo Chapters bookstore also does text message alerts…
Then I had a Buttermilk Chicken Cobb salad for lunch at White Spot (tipping way more change and money because I wanted to get rid of it), getting home at 2:15 PM on another 401 to Dr. Chong FINALLY emailing me back. She called me back at 4:25 PM after getting my email reply – she’s working closer to home in Vancouver proper, and told me to take care afterwards. My phone was very, very quiet. I tried adjusting volume. Nothing. Then I remembered about pressing the speakerphone icon on the phone call. She didn’t seem to mind my ignoring the phone calls from the Feed Foundation once I told her that I thought they were robocalls. Turns out the staff in the nearby medical clinic (which is now closed) largely retired when the group who owned the building changed, she chose not to work there anymore, and the one doctor working there is choosing not to renew the lease. No wonder Dr. McKenzie is only seeing his own patients!
MY TOILET WATER IS NOW BACK TO NORMAL AND NOT BLUE ANYMORE! It was disconcerting since I quickly got used to it being blue from the 2000 Flushes. The Canucks played the Edmonton Oilers at 7 in 2023-2024 Playoff Game #2 of Round 2, and LOST 4-3 in overtime thanks to Ian Cole AGAIN…
Buttermilk Chicken Cobb salad for lunch at White Spot: Crispy buttermilk chicken, shredded iceberg lettuce, fresh avocado, back bacon, hard-boiled eggs, cherry tomatoes, corn, radish, cilantro, cheddar and tortilla strips, and jalapeno ranch. BETTER QUALITY!
Double birthday gift ideas from Harmony: Ayler likes kids’ chess strategy games now, and Beckett really likes games in general. She thinks they both like GARFIELD comic books, and suspects that they might really like CALVIN AND HOBBES and other such classics. Later, she confirmed that my nephews wanted a kids’ chess strategy book and a GARFIELD comic book.
GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK #24 for my nephew Beckett’s 6th birthday:
Garfield book
GARFIELD GOES HOG WILD: HIS 70TH BOOK for my nephew Beckett’s 6th birthday:
Garfield book
GARFIELD: WHAT LEFTOVERS?: HIS 71ST BOOK for my nephew Beckett’s 6th birthday:
Garfield book
GARFIELD LIVING THE SWEET LIFE: HIS 72ND BOOK for my nephew Beckett’s 6th birthday:
Garfield book
Chess Strategy for Kids book for my nephew Ayler’s 12th birthday:
Chess book
GARFIELD FAT CAT 3-PACK #24 (GARFIELD GOES HOG WILD: HIS 70TH BOOK / GARFIELD: WHAT LEFTOVERS?: HIS 71ST BOOK / GARFIELD LIVING THE SWEET LIFE: HIS 72ND BOOK) and the Chess Strategy for Kids book!
From Mikki: Hello Kitty in Canucks colors! #1 Hello Canuck!
May
09
Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about entitled Karens, jokes, a Parmesan cheese / roast beef / Colby Jack cheese sandwich, loincloths, and hot weather. On Discord PM, Phil was not expecting the hockey result and figures that the Leafs also need to fire Brendon Shanahan in addition to Sheldon Keefe, otherwise things won’t change there. I tried calling Dr. Ruby’s office, but her hours are now WORSE! Only 9 AM to 1 PM?!
Edit at 9 PM: I finally got Auntie Ying and Uncle Peter on the phone after they did some gardening. Their relatives have finally left on a cruise, and then they’ll be going back to England from there. We made plans for lunch THIS SATURDAY, May 11 at 12:30 PM since we both need time to transit there on the bus. Yes, I plugged “restaurants near Main and Broadway” into Google. Apparently, Dad sends them messages to update various people on Pastor Edward, who is home now from his brain hemorrhage.
A birthday card with a pink doughnut and a pizza slice at London Drugs!
A Mother’s Day 2024 card with a doughnut and a cake pop at London Drugs!
May
08
Imgur online photo album of COLORING FARTING ANIMALS: https://imgur.com/a/0aseCCv
Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about earworms, songs stuck in his head, boardwalks, electro-swing music, rockabilly music, Halloween, and buffalo. I went out at 11:05 AM on a 401 and encountered an idiot older lady on the bus who decided to ask a question of the bus driver at the last stop WHILE STANDING TWO FEET AWAY AND BLOCKING THE AISLE. Shoppers Drug Mart prices for Softsoap body wash were way too expensive, and payday is next week anyway. So I went to London Drugs and bought a Nescafé tall coffee canister (December 1, 2025), original and Teriyaki NOBLE Jerky Vegan Jerky x2 (December 16, 3024 and February 10, 2025), two big London Drugs reusable bags, two small London Drugs reusable bags, Jelly Belly jellybeans x2 (Kid’s Mix – December 18, 2025 / Boba Milk Tea bubble tea – March 20, 2026), and Topix Media Labs COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 books x2. Got a FREE Webber Naturals Vitamin D3 260-count bottle expiring in October 2027 since my London Drugs purchase was over forty dollars, and was home at 12:45 PM on another 401.
The Canucks played the Edmonton Oilers at 7 in 2023-2024 Playoff Game #1 of Round 2, and WON 5-4! I told Phil on Discord PM that he’d better be pulling for the Canucks in this second round of the playoffs. Yep, Edmonton is his least favorite Canadian team! Helen Y. texted me about the playoff series, too.
Webber Naturals Vitamin D3 bottle: 260 tablets!
Donkey Twitter emote for National Donkey Day 2024 today on May 8! BROWN!
Donkey Discord emote for National Donkey Day 2024 today on May 8! GRAY!
Donkey Facebook emoji reaction for National Donkey Day 2024 today on May 8! GREY!
Donkey Youtube Google emoji reaction for National Donkey Day 2024 today on May 8! LIGHT GRAY!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
COLORING FARTING ANIMALS Volume 9 book at London Drugs!
May
07
#x
Today is the 2024 NHL draft lottery on Tuesday, May 7 at 3:30 PM. HOCKEY! Of course I talked about that to Phil on Discord PM. Phil’s Philadelphia Flyers pick #12 in the 2024 NHL Draft Lottery. My Canucks don’t get an official pick because they actually made the playoffs this year. Phil said, “We didn’t win. :(”
I had to text my apartment management in a blunt manner at 2 PM: “Is the plumber coming today?” MAINTENANCE! Got the replies by 2:15 PM: “Reaching him. He is coming. Within 45 minutes, he said.” The plumber FINALLY knocked on my door at 2:50 PM to hopefully finally fix my blue toilet with flushing issues, and he did a bunch of drilling. Thank goodness he spoke fluent English! He did his best and didn’t pack his inspection camera. When the plumber left at 4, he told me that he thinks the 2000 Flushes IS blocking a pipe somewhere, but he adjusted the water levels and might be back unofficially at some point when he’s around the building next time. Best part: NO WATER ON THE FLOOR! Now I get to return the blue towel at Superstore.
Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about Canadians DEFINITELY having Easter, reporters and plane crashes, brownies, X, and X. We also discussed his night terrors, X, and X. X. Steph also sent us a WhatsApp group chat message saying that she would be in Vancouver from Friday, June 7 at 8:30 AM to Monday, June 10 at 1 PM. She’ll be helping Chelsea out with her baby and post-partum depression that weekend. (Jon’s reply: “Huzzah!” HAHAHAHA!) Beckett has a birthday party from 12 PM to 2 PM on Sunday, June 9. However, Jon’s crew can make an early dinner at 5 PM on Saturday, June 8. That’s what we’re doing for now. Uncle Johnny can drive Dad for a Vancouver Symphony Orchestra rehearsal and concert on Friday.
From Pinboard (August 5, 2016 at 1:15 PM) and Tsukiyo 月夜 in HS Discord server: The Programmer’s Credo: We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they were going to be easy.
May
06
SHOWER TIME AND LAUNDRY TIME! The new Serbian maintenance guy knocked on my door at 9:15 AM, right when I was trying to eat breakfast. He spoke on the phone in a European language, possibly describing the 2000 Flushes. Then he left to get a thin toilet snaking tool after I left to switch my laundry from the washer to the dryer. When he finally gave up or “fixed” it at 10 AM (the toilet water is still blue and it won’t go down after I flush), I almost slipped on some water spots in the bathroom. UGH! The apartment management texted me at 11:50 AM to say that the maintenance technician or plumber would come again tomorrow morning to fix the toilet drainage. I HOPE SO! Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about Taco Bell, M80 explosives, and jokes.
I left at 2:05 on a 401 (just managed to get the bus) and 410 (just managed to get the bus) to go to Superstore for KJ dumplings x3, $4 Scotch scissors x3, and new Everyday Essentials store brand towels x2 since I used the new one to wipe up the water on the bathroom floor. I’ll have to return the light blue one, though. Got home at 3:30 PM on another 401.
Gomtang beef noodles for dinner! BETTER QUALITY!
May
05
Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about oysters, ghosties, my hearing getting better, and robot friends. Harmony emailed us to say that we would be celebrating Ayler and Beckett’s double birthdays on Sunday, May 26 around 4:30 PM at the park. MY NEPHEWS! YAY!
Laughing ghostie from Ten on Discord PM! Also good for Halloween 2024!
16 ounces of Pacific Seafood raw oysters today for Oyster Day 2024 on May 5!
Second-round hockey playoffs: Vancouver Canucks vs. the Edmonton Oilers. Western Conference schedule was finally released after the Dallas-Vegas game tonight! POSTERITY! Phil is also backing the Canucks because he HATES the Oilers. They’re his most-hated Canadian team.
May 2024 Vancouver Canucks second-round playoff schedule vs. the Edmonton Oilers!
Game 1: Wednesday, May 8 at 7 PM at Rogers Arena (WON 5-4!)
Game 2: Friday, May 10 at 7 PM at Rogers Arena (LOST 4-3 in overtime…)
Game 3: Sunday, May 12 at 6:30 PM at Rogers Place (WON X!)
Game 4: Tuesday, May 14 at 6:30 PM at Rogers Place (WON X!)
Game 5: Thursday, May 16 at Rogers Arena (WON X!)
Game 6: Saturday, May 18 at Rogers Place (WON X!) (if necessary)
Game 7: Monday, May 20 at Rogers Arena (WON X!) (if necessary)
Good luck to Ryan Blacklaws in the Canucks-Oilers 2023-2024 Playoff Game #2 of Round 2! FRENEMIES AGAIN IN THE POSTSEASON!
May
04
I went out at 12:35 PM on a 401 with my portable shopping cart to Price Smart, but encountered an idiot jabronie on the bus with a cane who WOULD NOT MOVE HER BAG ON THE SEAT ON A CROWDED BUS. Bought hot and sour soup expiring on May 7, NEW Lay’s Honey Butter chips expiring on July 2, a NEW Marie Callender’s Pulled Pork Macaroni and Cheese Bowl (November 7, 2024), a NEW Marie Callender’s Cheesy Ravioli Bowl (September 16, 2024), a NEW Marie Callender’s Lasagna with Meat Sauce Bowl (August 8, 2024), Pacific Seafood raw oysters expiring on May 15, SunRype orange juice expiring on August 19, and a BIG on-sale Marie Callender’s chicken pot pie expiring on July 20, 2025. Got home at 2 PM on another 401 while texting Eric about whether he was going to Pastor Glen’s funeral and memorial.
Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about “may you live in interesting times,” pudding, Rodney Carrington music videos, his cats, falling asleep, monkeys, medicine, reassurance, ravioli, forks, and noodles.
Mega sale on Purex toilet paper: From fifty dollars to twenty dollars!
A NEW Marie Callender’s Pulled Pork Macaroni and Cheese Bowl – YAY! Creamy macaroni and cheese topped with pulled pork blended with Kansas City-style BBQ sauce.
A NEW Marie Callender’s Cheesy Ravioli Bowl – YAY! Ravioli stuffed with ricotta-style cheese product, mozzarella, Parmesan, and Romano cheeses covered in a marinara sauce.
A NEW Marie Callender’s Lasagna with Meat Sauce Bowl – YAY! Lasagna noodles with a seasoned tomato and beef sauce topped with real pizza mozzarella cheese.
Lays Honey Butter chips!
Pacific Seafood raw oysters – 16 ounces!
May
03
COFFEE TIME! Ten hit me up on Discord PM to say hi and talk about painkillers, sunny weather, warm weather, his power outage caused by someone crashing into a pole, buckets, sandwiches, and Domino’s Pizza. After a very quick shower and finding out that MY TOILET WON’T FLUSH, I went out at 2:35 OM on a 401 to get to Well Health Medical Clinic at 2:45 PM to see if I could get removal for hearing, BUT THE DOCTOR (DR. D) FAILED TO DO HIS JOB AGAIN AND DIDN’T LISTEN TO ME! I got home at 3:30 on another 401 after HAVING to make another appointment on Monday, May 13.
The Canucks played Nashville at 4 in 2023-2024 Playoff Game #6 of Round 1, and WON 1-0 with the Suter goal at barely 100 seconds left in the hockey game! Our rookie goalie Arturs Silovs had his FIRST NHL SHUTOUT! ON TO THE SECOND ROUND AGAINST THE EDMONTON OILERS! Jason Hoy kept me updated again, which wasn’t strictly necessary. Helen Y. texted to congratulate me, so I thanked her. Madison Square Garden will be crazy with basketball New York Knicks games and hockey New York Rangers games!
Very blue water in my toilet today! 2000 FLUSHES! Blue, blue… EARTHBOUND!
Epixome 