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Doctor Unheimlich, Sl-So (Sorceress_Rin)

Doctor Unheimlich’s Disease Registry

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Slaapliedje’s Disease
Cause: mobile phone radiation
Symptoms: drowsiness, ability to fly, flatulence, blocked nose
Cure: take a hundred spoons of cod liver oil and come back in the morning
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Slackanandaosis
Cause: mosquito bite
Symptoms: automatic writing, glowing in the dark, turning into a wolf
Cure: fire
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SlapThatDonkey’s Syndrome
Cause: cursed Japanese video
Symptoms: beeping, bone pain, dancing, tree-climbing
Cure: trepanning
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SlashAndBurn’s Lurgy
Cause: improperly prepared cheese
Symptoms: sudden abdominal pain, leg numbness, grimacing, bruising
Cure: trepanning
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Slashdot_Unban’s Disease
Cause: falling over
Symptoms: glow-in-the-dark ears, occasional gills, orange ears, nightmares
Cure: prayer
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SlaveDaeva’s Lurgy
Cause: hot weather
Symptoms: glowing eyes, occasional American accent, frequent thirst for human blood
Cure: infect someone else
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SledMan’s Syndrome
Cause: self-abuse
Symptoms: space alien bursting from stomach, vomiting blood, excessive knee pain, flashing eyes
Cure: Kryptonite
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SleepingChild’s Disorder
Cause: just one of those things
Symptoms: vague heartburn, revolving neck, flaccidity, bushy eyebrows
Cure: drink lots of water
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Sleestak’s Disease
Cause: overconsumption of burgers
Symptoms: mildly excess mucus, sudden insomnia, mild hunger
Cure: Kryptonite
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SLG_News’ Syndrome
Cause: cursed amulet
Symptoms: sudden redness of nose, sweating, tongue retraction
Cure: acupuncture
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SlinkSlowDown’s Lurgy
Cause: psychological
Symptoms: fear of drowning, loose teeth, hairy legs, extreme chest pain
Cure: don’t do it again
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SlipknotLoveritis
Cause: poor dental hygiene
Symptoms: mild restlessness, mildly enlarged liver and spleen, wrist swelling
Cure: take two spoons of cod liver oil a day until it goes away
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmashedIceCream’s Disorder
Cause: genetically-modified fish
Symptoms: imperceptibly enlarged liver, nose extension, murderous rage, slow heartbeat
Cure: exercise
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Smaug_T_Dragonitis
Cause: bee sting
Symptoms: toe numbness, ankle swelling, sudden blisters
Cure: none
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmchyRocky’s Disease
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: high blood-alcohol level, extreme chest pain, fatigue, sudden Hitler mustache
Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmegmaCheezosis
Cause: sporting injury
Symptoms: scaly skin, groin swelling, earache
Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmirkLip’s Disorder
Cause: hot weather
Symptoms: crying, excessive tooth loss, stiffness, abdominal pain
Cure: take a few leeches with meals
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmithDidIt’s Lurgy
Cause: poor hygiene
Symptoms: slow heartbeat, snoring, frequent wrist pain, sudden absenteeism
Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmokeSinatra’s Disorder
Cause: computer virus
Symptoms: occasional aggression, leg pain, high temperature
Cure: don’t do it again
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmokedGlass7429’s Disorder
Cause: mosquito bite
Symptoms: occasional demoniacal visions, foot swelling, lumps, puce urine
Cure: take a few Prozac tablets with meals
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SmoreWhore’s Lurgy
Cause: the wrong type of snow
Symptoms: scaly skin, howling at the moon, slightly red eyes
Cure: prayer
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SnapeToyosis
Cause: smoking
Symptoms: frequent ectoplasm, glowing aura, whitening of teeth
Cure: fresh air
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SnoCat_itis
Cause: too much sleep
Symptoms: bowel incontinence, winking, excessive blisters, -1 Strength, -2 Charisma
Cure: psychiatry
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Snooooopy’s Disorder
Cause: a blow to the head
Symptoms: sudden depression, tree-climbing, shivering
Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SnoopDawgitis
Cause: spread by rats
Symptoms: coughing, smiling, leg numbness
Cure: take a few Viagra tablets every day for the rest of your life
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Snuh’s Lurgy
Cause: viral
Symptoms: leg swelling, hairy legs, vague swarms of bees, mild excess of money
Cure: expensive biofeedback devices
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Sober4Ever’s Disorder
Cause: Egyptian curse
Symptoms: vomiting blood, fingernail biting, extreme tunnel vision, hovering
Cure: prayer
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SocerFool’s Disorder
Cause: a significant alignment of the stars
Symptoms: scaly skin, mild necrosis, being able to fire webs from wrists
Cure: take five shots of morphine every day before meals
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SodaFizz24osis
Cause: monkey bite
Symptoms: guilt, enhanced vision, stigmata, humming
Cure: psychiatry
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Soekarno’s Disease
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: vague impotence, whitening of teeth, sweating, extreme halo
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Softly’s Disorder
Cause: thinking too hard
Symptoms: whitening of teeth, déjà vu, glow-in-the-dark spots
Cure: acupuncture
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SoftlyWhispereditis
Cause: mobile phone radiation
Symptoms: leaning at 45 degrees, shivering, vague appetite changes
Cure: expensive biofeedback devices
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Sokkwitis
Cause: influence of the Devil
Symptoms: hypothermia, vestigial extra head, vague chills
Cure: cryogenic freezing until science catches up
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Soleta_NF’s Syndrome
Cause: sexually transmitted
Symptoms: vague flatulence, frequent dementia, turning into a giant monster, vague pimples
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Solomon’s Syndrome
Cause: mobile phone radiation
Symptoms: vague hypothermia, wrist swelling, pimples, hunger
Cure: acupuncture
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SomethingAwfulitis
Cause: overwork
Symptoms: vegetarianism, nice dreams, knee pain, rapid heart beat
Cure: click heels together three times
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Son_Of_Art’s Disease
Cause: bee sting
Symptoms: urine retention, bushy eyebrows, itching
Cure: exercise
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SongOfTheSiren’s Syndrome
Cause: unknown
Symptoms: grey skin, nice dreams, mild inability to pronounce letter ‘c’
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Sonia5itis
Cause: too much sleep
Symptoms: neck swelling, neck shortening, impaired vision, mildly crossed eyes
Cure: fresh air
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SoopaGeek’s Disease
Cause: pollen
Symptoms: walking like a zombie, glimpses of underlying reality, scaly skin, buzzing noises
Cure: infect someone else
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Sorceress_Rin’s Lurgy
Cause: allergy to fish
Symptoms: dizziness, pointy ears, toe numbness, automatic writing
Cure: don’t do it again
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Soul_Amazinn’s Disorder
Cause: Egyptian curse
Symptoms: forgetfulness, chi imbalance, tiredness
Cure: trepanning
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SoupCanosis
Cause: natural sign of aging
Symptoms: mild moodiness, hallucinations, mildly orange skin, beeping
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SourGrapezitis
Cause: poor dental hygiene
Symptoms: winking, hypochondria, skin lesions, occasional night terrors
Cure: eat more sausages
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Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
SoylentGreen’s Disorder
Cause: spread by rats
Symptoms: murderous rage, loss of libido, extreme necrosis
Cure: infect someone else
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