Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Doctor Unheimlich, Q (Quilliper)

Doctor Unheimlich’s Disease Registry

Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QCJephosis
Cause: zombie attack
Symptoms: seeing dead people, high blood-alcohol level, mild joint pain, vague electric shocks
Cure: take four potions of extra healing every day before meals
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QDotosis
Cause: overconsumption of chicken
Symptoms: mild vestigial extra head, lumps, mildly blocked nose
Cure: prayer
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QFemale’s Syndrome
Cause: natural sign of aging
Symptoms: pacing, slightly grey skin, tooth lengthening
Cure: bleach
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Qin’s Lurgy
Cause: Egyptian curse
Symptoms: extreme tooth loss, occasional euphoria, fear of the number thirteen, deafness
Cure: take two pinches of snuff every day for the rest of your life
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quadrivium’s Lurgy
Cause: lack of sausages
Symptoms: mania, blocked nose, loss of weight
Cure: sleep
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuadSystems’ Lurgy
Cause: running too fast
Symptoms: fangs, frequent hives, blisters
Cure: exercise
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quaizr’s Disease
Cause: bad junk food
Symptoms: floating hair, death, brain swelling
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quasi’s Lurgy
Cause: pollen
Symptoms: sudden drowsiness, vague invisibility, extra ribs
Cure: bleach
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuasiDanosis
Cause: stress
Symptoms: revolving neck, frequent smell of brimstone, sleepwalking
Cure: acupuncture
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuasiModal’s Disorder
Cause: natural sign of aging
Symptoms: regurgitation, sneezing, peeling skin
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Queen_Phoenixosis
Cause: falling over
Symptoms: excess mucus, slow heartbeat, lack of reflection in mirrors, occasional shrunken head
Cure: take a hundred ibuprofen every day before meals
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QueenMargot’s Disease
Cause: poor hygiene
Symptoms: frequent anxiety, extreme French accent, excessive bad poetry
Cure: attempt to repeat cause
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Queer_Theoryosis
Cause: spaceborne bacteria
Symptoms: hot flushes, muscle atrophy, excessive pimples, mildly cloudy urine
Cure: psychiatry
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Question_23’s Disorder
Cause: genetic mutation
Symptoms: excess of money, abdominal swelling, excessive vegetarianism, excessive Hitler mustache
Cure: take two pinches of snuff before going to bed
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quill18’s Lurgy
Cause: computer virus
Symptoms: flatulence, mild toe pain, mild hives, jaw dislocation
Cure: trepanning
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuillAddison’s Disorder
Cause: mobile phone radiation
Symptoms: screaming, toe numbness, pacing
Cure: take a hundred vitamin C tablets and come back in the morning
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quilliperitis
Cause: smoking
Symptoms: screaming, bladder pain, reflective shots
Cure: fresh air
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizDiva’s Disease
Cause: bad chewing gum
Symptoms: water retention, mild hypochondria, shouting, fear of drowning
Cure: take a day off work
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizFarm’s Lurgy
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: chest hair growth, grey skin, excessive sore throat
Cure: take a dozen placebo tablets every day for the rest of your life
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizGalaxy’s Lurgy
Cause: secret military experiments
Symptoms: sudden brain shrinkage, fear, slightly swollen appendix, excessive regurgitation
Cure: drink lots of water
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizHeavenosis
Cause: lack of fish
Symptoms: grey skin, blotchy skin, nausea
Cure: prayer
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quizilla’s Lurgy
Cause: zombie attack
Symptoms: neck swelling, lockjaw, frequent muscle spasms
Cure: drink lots of water
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizLee’s Disease
Cause: cursed amulet
Symptoms: automatic writing, back pain, extremely high temperature, frequent tentacle growth
Cure: sleep
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizMe’s Lurgy
Cause: lack of caffeine
Symptoms: sudden tooth loss, vestigial extra head, frequent American accent, urinary pain
Cure: don’t do it again
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quizopolis’ Lurgy
Cause: sporting injury
Symptoms: extreme suicidal thoughts, sniffing, dilation of pupils, urinary pain
Cure: take seven leeches every day for the rest of your life
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizPox’s Syndrome
Cause: sexually transmitted
Symptoms: lumps, excessive dilation of pupils, frequent water retention, depression
Cure: sleep
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizSoup’s Disease
Cause: a significant alignment of the stars
Symptoms: bowel infrequency, cloudy urine, slightly bushy eyebrows, mild 80s haircut
Cure: paint a black cross on your front door and wait
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizStop’s Syndrome
Cause: the wrong type of snow
Symptoms: urine colour changes, extremely chapped lips, cranial bloating
Cure: prayer
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
Quiztronosis
Cause: caught in hospitals
Symptoms: talking like a pirate, tongue swelling, extreme delusions
Cure: infect someone else
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with
QuizUniverse’s Lurgy
Cause: overconsumption of civet cats
Symptoms: mildly beige irises, frequent moodiness, slight urinary pain
Cure: take two leeches and come back in the morning
Enter your name, for your own diagnosis:
Advertisements

No Responses to “Doctor Unheimlich, Q (Quilliper)”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: