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This is CRAZY LAND.

Hitler and OK Cupid girls, alcohol, slippery slopes, Portland, and STREET FIGHTER

On Monday night, the usual suspect said that he could bring over my London Drugs bag and the Superstore poutine chips if we were still doing something, so I figured I might as well give him the gross sauerkraut noodles and the lobster chips. Turns out he finished the lobster chips, in part because I limited his intake of the poutine chips while we were watching TV! I was going to send the other one to Josh in Chicago, but he declined by saying he’s on a strict diet. Maybe I’ll just save the half-bag and the full bag for Chinese Eric OR myself… or the usual suspect, too.

We talked about Krista, sex advice, intellectual stimulation, Chinese New Year, relationship health, thinking things over / out, debt, reassurance, Robin and crossbows, Teunis and his gum chewing aversion, PTSD, affection, love, combat, military people, suicide, New York Fries poutine (braised beef / butter chicken!), cleaning the stove element and ash, personal things, the news, money, cravings for Pho / rum and cherry Coke, wanting to walk around in the sunlight, and Conan O’Brien. Also conversed about Jon Stewart, KING OF QUEENS, SEINFELD, THE TEST (lie detector tests?!), yogurt, Spanish rice with a lot of tomatoes, honest answers, royalties, ideas, using my hockey group as Love and Relationships 101 (he isn’t mad about that?!), Justin Bieber getting arrested (he hadn’t heard of that), the Super Bowl, Ryan, dogs as therapy, suits, screwing with the upstairs neighbors, fountains, bombing, switching from the cramped bed to the couch, olive oil / carrots as a JOKE (?!), corn ice cream, HOT DOG SUSHI in MOTHER 3, and satisfaction.

Discussed Chinese Eric, texts, making phone calls, his parents, Portland, beers, not coping with alcohol (slippery slope), Chilliwack, nails, Halloween costume ideas, Advil, his neck (I tried just putting my arm around his shoulders), “honey” and “baby,” Santa hats / fantasy, sleeping a lot, a lack of sunlight, working, parents, free credit reports, minimum wage, welfare, programming, math, listening to each other, links on narcissism and FLEAS, my siblings, long-term stuff, Molly the drug, online dating, demographics, herpes, Cougar Life, ROCK OUT WITH MY COCK OUT, Vanessa and the double bed / what she said about him (micro-managing?), and going down a list of bad stuff. We also talked about crying, “safety and home,” cheating / breakups, cute first impressions, lips, Piper, Lynn, pussy words and etymology, liquid soap vs. bar soap, my NOT expecting jewelry for Valentine’s Day, pretending to be an extrovert when he was really somewhat of an introvert, noises as revenge for making him shout in his sleep, guilt-tripping ads, going to the States on Thursday AFTERNOON (YES!), Nathan, watching TRUE DETECTIVE with his uncle, Matthew McConaughey, Woody Harrelson, WEDDING CRASHERS / DAWN OF THE DEAD, Miami / San Francisco, and condom commercials. I didn’t mind if Mike used the computer to look up audio cables and directional arrows in case a client asked about it! Then he told me about some guy who’d come through his Safeway lane with ten different types of condoms, and the people who’d come through with KY Jelly and condoms. Oh my, indeed…

Turns out that Mike had heard me discussing issues with Vivian and Robert that time we were there for Brazilian food; he wondered how that had gone, and what exactly I’d said. I told him that they’d seemed to understand, and were actually helpful. While he was talking to his mom on the phone yesterday evening before our dinner, I caught up with some stuff (showed him a picture of fried oysters with ice cream – only in Japan!), and gave him the self-sealed envelope containing my payment for that new microwave which Robert had originally bought on Cyber Monday. (so long ago) No, I hadn’t licked it or used a sponge! He told me to look up College Humor’s GRAMMAR NAZIS video, Hitler ranting about OK Cupid girls, Hitler and Cheetos, and STREET FIGHTER: THE LATER YEARS. Mike also misread the Superstore “Celeb” margarine as “Caleb” – oh dear!

Yes, I’m an introvert!

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