Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Terrible cellphone reception, decapitations, KFC Mashed Potatoes

My brother’s cell phone seems to have terrible reception! It sounds like he comes from the technological Borg / intergalactic alien force on another planet!

What he really said: “I just left Eric’s.”
What I heard: “I’m having sex” (there are some things I don’t want to know…) or “Get on the bus.” (What?! You’re not driving me to ping-pong, but you’ll drive Eric?!)

Death to bad reception! He claims that my phone sucks, but I don’t have that problem with anyone else… weirdo. 😛

Also, I just got an email from my mom addressing me as “my dear big baby” … o_O

…. I don’t think that means what she thinks it does! (it’s about some holiday next week to Harrison Hot Springs / Banff with the parents and Grandma… right now, I’m not inclined to go, but that may change)

Today’s Ripping Yet Truly Morbid Fact!

A 16-year-old farmworker died a horrible death after being “swallowed” by a baling machine six days after he had started at the farm. Another worker, who saw the machine ripping apart Ricardo Mowries, has been having trouble sleeping since the accident. Jerome Geduld of the De Liefde farm near Wolseley was driving the baling machine in which Mowries’ clothes got entangled about 17:20 on Monday, October 17, 2005. Mowries was decapitated, his right arm was broken and his right leg ripped off. Geduld said: “Ricardo was feeding the chaff into the machine and his jacket got caught in the machinery. His body was ripped apart within half a minute. It happened so quickly. My body was in shock, and I was disoriented. I didn’t know where I was.” Geduld described the teenager as a “good worker,” saying young workers didn’t normally work with such big machinery. Ricardo’s mother, Ragel Mowries, said she was working in the vineyard when she and other workers heard a loud bang. “Two workers came running. I told the others: but there should be three of them. I walked up to them and asked what had happened. They told me my child had died. I wanted to go to him, but Jerome said he was too badly injured; I should stay away. I heard that his head was lying 12 metres from the machine. I keep seeing images of how he died.” Mowries said her son had asked the manager for a job because she couldn’t afford to keep him in school after Grade 7. “It was only his sixth day at work. I’m heartbroken, but I must accept it.” Albertus Olivier, organiser of the Food and Allied Workers Union in the Witzenberg district, said: “It is against the labour laws to allow such a young child to do such hard work. Such a dangerous machine must be operated by an experienced person.” Flip Viljoen, the farm manager, said through his lawyer, Nico le Roux, that the boy “knew exactly what he should do. He was merely a helper and didn’t operate the machine.” Le Roux said the case was being investigated by the labour department and the police. “It was a sad accident, and we are supporting his family.”

Culled from: News 24
Generously submitted by: Rene

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When I read stories like this, it almost makes me glad that the worst injury I’m likely to suffer in my job is carpal tunnel! *Almost.*

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Follow-Up Du Jour!

Betsy sends me a follow-up on the drunk driving accident that was featured on the January 14, 2007 MFDJ. The drunk driver who slammed into the limo and killed two people has been found guilty of second degree murder. The article has interesting photographs of the wreckage – remember, this is the wreck where the mother held the decapitated head of her daughter in her arms as she sat dazed on the side of the road after the crash. Horrid.

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Morbid Mirth Du Jour!

Net Disaster allows you to take the perfect revenge against your most-loathed websites! Hours of destructive fun!!

Thanks to Magnoire for the link.

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Ghastly!

How fast do you have to be going to cut a car completely in two when you hit a tree? Looks like a bit over 90 MPH to me…

Thanks to Narkitten for the Power Point Presentation.

KFC Mashed Potatoes

The mashed potatoes are served and made by mix. It comes in a bag, so just add water and butter. Many people just come to KFC to get these potatoes and gravy.

2 1/2 cups Idaho Potato Flakes
1 stick Margarine
2 tablespoons Butter
2 1/2 cups Hot Water
3/4 cup Milk
1 teaspoon salt

Heat water, and add butter and margarine till melted. Add the salt and cook for 2 minutes. Add the flakes and mix till it looks like regular potatoes. Add milk to get the proper consistency. Serve with gravy. Serves 6.

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