Epixome
This is CRAZY LAND.

Jared’s Customers_Suck Posts / Ethnicity Survey / KFC Potato Wedges

Well, I *thought* I was going to get an early night in for once since I actually felt tired at 12:35 AM or so. However, my body had different ideas… this is why I got up at 4:25 AM instead of sleeping. Thank goodness I’m at home (unlike the LAST time I couldn’t sleep!) so I can be semi-productive on the computer here. There’s rain / wet snow outside, but I plan to stay home today anyhow. 😀

Ah, here’s something I can get into… satisfies my OCDL tendencies well enough, haha. Jared (smokedglass7429) asks if we RandomThought denizens can link his customers_suck posts for him. Sure, why not… I’m up now, haha! Might make interesting reading later on, too! 😉

First post… we can TELL that your phone has water damage, and your warranty is VOID and NULL because of it!
Teenagers and their mothers
We can’t un-swap your phone since it has water damage… and don’t assume we’ll get you pissed off, either!
Don’t bug me to fix your phone when I’m off the clock!
We can’t help you with that because you’re not on our service! Don’t throw a hissy fit when I tell you there’s an appropriate store a few blocks away!
Cingular employees are not your personal servants!
Don’t drop the F-bomb in the store when there are children around!
I don’t NEED to help you for three hours just because I used to be your bartender / waiter!
Correct responses to “How are you today?”
White trash and black trash
Overhead and days off
Old people and death
Pink phones and recalls
Don’t stare at me and just expect me to help you!
No price matching online!
Don’t complain about the pricing of the phones!
If you can’t understand our simple automated menu, you don’t NEED a phone!
Call me “pumpkinhead,” and I won’t help you!
I don’t care if you leave the company!
I threw three people out of the Cingular store today!
I had a damn relaxing day at work watching TV and snacking!
I’m refusing service to you because you’re a homophobe!
Upgrade bitch, part 1
Upgrade bitch, part 2
Which phone is more popular?
Self-Checkouts
We’re closed on Easter Sunday!
We are CLOSED… hello! I even let you into the store to verify this!
Online Comic
Don’t shout your phone number at me!
You can read numerals in English or Spanish, right?!
I’m not going to steal your credit card number!
Cell phone etiquette
Phew… you got upgraded unexpectedly!
Racial profiling at the Cingular store! (255 comments… that got him flamed for WEEKS on a different community!)
Don’t put porn on our computers yourself!
Little labels for every accessory?
My pen exploded, covering you in blue ink!
Stop making comments about my weight!
You need a walkthrough on a Blackberry tutorial?!
I *knew* she was going to return her Blackberry!
I hate Saturdays!
Ugh… I hate dealing with hippies!
You’re not supposed to look at your account on MY screen!
Oops!
My ideal company and its policies
Thanks, love you too… whoops, I so did not mean to say that to the customer!
Blanket spam email… corn-infested poop cube?
Cingular policy
Why are we open on Memorial Day?
Closings and coverage
It’s so funny that this is what you get!
I MUST HAVE A PHONE BECAUSE I’M IMPORTANT!
You’re not entitled to a free phone!
I won’t do that for you when the manager’s not here!
We’re not OPEN yet and you want me to do WHAT?!
Washington Post interview
Price tags
Dig through the trash for me, will ya?
I don’t WORK there anymore, lady… get a clue!
I don’t have to pay tax!

Ethnicity survey, from Candy via Myspace bulletin:

Australian
[] You wear flip-flops all year.
[] You call flip-flops “thongs,” not flip-flops.
[x] You love a backyard barbie.
[x] You know a barbie is not a doll.
[x] You love the beach.
[x] Sometimes you curse without realizing it.
[] You’re a sports fanatic.
[] You are stacks tanned.
[] You’re a bit of a bogan.
[x] You have an Australian something. (thongs, shirt, phone sock, etc.)
Total = 5

Italian
[] The Sopranos is a great show.
[] Your last name ends in a vowel.
[] Your grandmother makes her own sauce.
[] You know how a real meatball tastes.
[] You know a lot of Italian songs.
[x] You have dark hair and dark eye color.
[] You speak some Italian.
[x] You are under 5 feet 10 inches.
[x] Pasta is the best food in the world.
[] You talk with your hands.
[] You are naturally tan.
Total = 3

Hispanic
[] You say “member” instead of “remember.”
[x] You speak a little Spanish.
[] YoU TyPe lIkE ThIs On Da CoMpUtEr. (EWWWW! NEVER!)
[] You are dark-skinned.
[] You know what a Bodega is.
[x] You talk fast.
[] If you are a girl, you have had highlights or dyed your hair.
Total = 2

Russian
[] You say “villain” as “Vee-lon.”
[x] You get short-tempered.
[x] You know of somebody named Natasha.
[] You are white-skinned.
[x] You get cold easily.
[] Snow is fun for you.
[] You get into contests often.
[] You can easily make do with the cold weather.
Total = 3

Irish
[x] You think beer is the best.
[x] You have a bad temper.
[] Your last name starts with a Mc OR Murph or O’ or Fitz, or ends with a ly / on / un / ani / ry.
[] You have blue or green eyes.
[x] You like the color green.
[] You have been to a St. Patrick’s Day party.
[] You have a family member from Ireland.
Total = 3

Black
[] You say “nigga / nukka” casually.
[] You have nappy hair.
[] You like rap.
[] You talk with slang.
[] You know how to shoot a gun.
[x] You like chicken.
[x] You like watermelon.
[] You can “sing” gospel.
[] Your parents said they found you in the jungle in Africa.
Total= 2

Asian
[x] You have slanty eyes.
[x] You like rice a lot.
[] You have played the piano.
[x] You have family from Asia.
[x] You laugh sometimes covering your mouth.
[x] Most people think you’re Chinese.
[] You call hurricanes “typhoons.”
[] You go to Baulko.
Total = 5

German
[x] You like bread.
[] You think American chocolate would be better with less sugar.
[] You drink your soda without ice.
[] You speak German.
[x] You know what schnitzel is, and you love it.
[] You are Catholic or Lutheran.
[x] You hate it when stupid people call you a Nazi.
[x] You went to kindergarten / preschool.
[] You’re over 5 feet, 6 inches.
Total = 4

French (This isn’t French! It’s Canadian! Damn stupid ignorance!)
[x] You like / play / played hockey.
[x] You love beer.
[x] You say “eh.”
[x] You know what poutine is.
[x] You speak some French.
[x] You love Tim Horton’s.
[] At one point, you lived in a farmhouse.
[] You watch Degrassi.
Total = 6

The one you have the most points in is the one you are. Repost this saying “According to this test, I am…”
I am French, but it’s really frickin’ CANADIAN!!!!

KFC Potato Wedges

The Colonel was in the kitchen one day and had an idea what to do with the potatoes that he had, so he came up with the Potato Wedges. The used to be made fresh, but due to the invention of the frozen fry, they are sent to the stores frozen and ready to cook.

shortening for Frying
5 Baking potatoes cut into Wedges
1 cup Milk
1 egg
1 cup flour
2 tablespoons salt
1 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon MSG
1/4 teaspoon Paprika
dash of garlic powder

Preheat shortening in to 375°F. Cut the potatoes into 16 to 18 equal-size wedges. Mix the egg and milk till well blended in a big bowl. Mix the dry ingredients into a large bowl. Put some potatoes in the milk and egg, then into the flour mixture till well-coated. Fry in fryer for 3 minutes. Remove from the oil and allow them to sit for one minute. Then cook them again for 5 minutes, or until cooked. It may take up to 6 minutes.

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